So Tired

 I have to say, I was kinda expecting to crash and burn back on Wednesday maybe into Thursday. 

As I haven't really had much time to 'rest' since I got back from my vacation.

And considering the tense and semi-stressful drive I had with mental and emotional worries, and then the physical strain of driving for nearly 11 hours and then also dealing with the stress of driving in rainy weather....only to turn around and head straight into a 5 am shift at work on Monday morning and then keep running with longer shifts the rest of the week.....

I was expecting to end up with like a migraine or just .... falter much sooner than like today. 

But surprisingly I didn't. 

Until today.

Where I woke up feeling exhausted.

That sort of exhausted where you just want to turn around and go back to bed for another 12 hours because you're so tired.

Like break out the caffeine and drink it to try and stay awake first thing in the morning exhausted.

Which I haven't felt in a while.....

Yah that hit me strong this morning.

Because I've been pushing hard this week at work what with truck and trying to get other things done in the store while dealing with the stress of incompetent coworkers who you have to feel like you have to babysit the entire time because they can't get their stuff done right....or done at all....

In any case.

I've been so tired today.

And it's the sort of tired where if you sleep you end up with a headache and if you don't sleep you end up with a headache....so yah I have a headache going. 

A migraine I suppose since Tylenol and Advil have not made it go away. 

But at the same time I wasn't able to relax for longer than an hour after getting home so maybe I just didn't nap long enough.

So here's to hoping that this weekend I can rest and recover and get all my energy back to keep pushing with all the work crazy going on.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Look at the People

 It's kinda amazing how quickly something can change. Like literally in an instant the situation can go from being one thing to being something completely different. 

For example today.

After work I was meeting up with a friend at the store because I needed to check with a gift card that I had given them for their birthday.

Because I had discovered the evening after giving them their gift card and while preparing for a trip...that I had somehow ended up with a SECOND gift card in my bag of groceries...when I'd only bought one. 

And I had no idea if the gift card that I had given to my friend was the one I had bought or the one that had stuck to the other when I hadn't realized it. 

I'd tried checking the receipt to see but didn't see any indication of which one was the right one. 

And with me going straight on vacation....we had to wait until I got back and our work schedules lined up enough that we both had time to meet up so that I could figure out which gift card was meant to be theirs.

And today was that day.

And I showed up at the store a little bit late because I had just gotten off work.

And had expected my friend to already to there waiting for me...but they'd been delayed as well.

And when I walked up to the Customer Service thing there was only two people in line.

Nice and short.

but my friend was going to be another 15ish minutes if rush hour was kind to them (it was not kind to them) and I kinda needed both gift cards to make it easier to figure out which one was the one that I had bought.

And it was kinda amazing how in the space of like...10 minutes the line went from having like 2 people in it...to having like 8 people in it. 

To be honest it made me rather frustrated. 

Like. If my friend had been there at the same time as me we would have only had two other people in front of us. But now I was looking at an ever growing line that seemed to have like 15 people now in it and just for seeing it becoming like a 30 minute ordeal just to wait in the line to be helped.

And considering I'd gotten off work right at dinner time....I was tired. I was hungry. And I was just a bit grumpy from work stuff. So to be made to wait longer and to see a long line forming when it could have been avoided.

Yah....I was rather frustrated. 

Especially considering my friend ended up being like 30 minutes late.

But at the same time....it was kinda crazy....because by the time my friend showed up?

The line had vanished.

There was once again just two people in line before us.

So the wait wasn't long at all.

Like I've seen it happen a ton at my own job. Where there's like no one in line for the register and then suddenly you have a dozen people in line out of nowhere.

But it was crazy to see it happen in a different location.

And to have it be like....dead...and then 20 minutes of crazy...and then dead again.

Like my friend had no idea that the line had gotten so long it was heading out into the main part of the store out of the customer service area.....

Only I had known because I was there standing nearby watching the line grow.

Only I was aware how it had gone from 2 people up to like 12 people and back to 2 people in like 30 minutes.

It's crazy.

Crazy how quickly things can change.

And how you have no idea what could have just occurred right before you showed up or right after you left.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Can't You Just Work?

 Wednesdays seem to be such a problem day to work.

Which ... honestly every day at work probably has it's typical trends of being the 'problem work day' 

But considering I usually don't work Wednesdays....

the fact that whenever I do work Wednesdays it feels like something goes wrong...

Makes me less inclined to want to work Wednesdays.

Though I suppose the same could have been said last year about Tuesdays when like literally we could not afford to have anyone call out on Tuesday because no one else was available to work Tuesdays besides the people already scheduled and yet everyone decided that they must have Tuesdays off or call off Tuesdays for various reasons.

In any case.

Wednesdays.

I was already expecting the day not to go quite to plan as I figured that truck wouldn't have gotten as far as I would have wanted it to which would have left us behind for today's plans.

Which surprisingly truck was further along that expected....but the morning manager didn't get the remaining things done as quickly as expected and therefore...put us about on the timeline of delayed that was expected.

But the delays were kinda exasperated by the fact that our morning cashier decided that they wouldn't be able to work their full shift today.

Why?

Because they'd only managed to get an hour and a half of sleep last night.

Which.

On the one hand I do get the struggle. I've had bad nights with migraines where I haven't slept much.

But I've still managed to function well enough at work to...you know....stay the entire time like a good 99% of the time. I've only left work early a handful of times....and that's because of a still active migraine....not from lack of sleep.

But perhaps my priorities are way different than the younger generation. Which is "Work is first priority." 

In any case.

Morning Cashier wanted to leave around lunch time. About 3 hours earlier than scheduled.

Which meant we did not have a cashier for 3 hours.

Which meant that morning manager and I would need to take turns watching the register.

And I was being rather reasonable being like "Hey, I do not want to watch register for 3 hours. So I was thinking we could switch off. Either every half hour or every hour what do you think?" 

And Morning Manager agreed to every half hour.....

Only to try and get out of it twenty minutes later with "Oh but I'm so busy can't you switch with petcare?"

Like dude. YOU HAD ALL MORNING TO GET YOUR TASKS DONE NOT MY FAULT YOU DIDN'T GET THEM DONE.

Plus like. I have alllllll MY tasks I need to get done too. You're not Special. Why should YOU get special treatment when I too need to do things? At least I'm not making YOU do the entire 3 hour stint.

Yeesh.

In any case.

My empathy for my coworkers, despite the week long break from them. Is still at an all time low. Mostly because they keep creating more work for me and don't give me any relief in return.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Still Processing

 It's hard to write when you've got a lot to process. Because like...you want to write...but when you don't want to process you don't want to write. 

Because a lot has happened over the last few days. And while some has been good a lot hasn't been great. 

And I'm honestly still muddling through my feelings on everything.

Like it started with dealing with a headache that turned into a migraine Saturday night. 

-Which thankfully, the Nurtec did make that go away.

To waking up to the news that President Nelson had passed away.

To finding out while I was in the beginning stages of spending the day driving back home to my Daddoo texting that he was 'safe' and that the 'shooting was no where near him." and having to wait until I got to the next gas station stop to figure out that there was a shooting at a church in Michigan and worrying about that.

To dealing with just random busy Sunday construction traffic in like all the canyons which delayed me by like an HOUR getting home because everyone decided they had to crawl through the construction areas when they didn't need to.

To having to white knuckle drive the last little bit home because it was raining but the sun was shining at the same time and at an angle that made the roads blinding white so the rain was making it hard to see the road the sun was making it hard to see the road and I was stuck behind a tarp covered semi that send foggy misty rain flying behind it in a nice misty bright white cloud that also caught the sun and made it hard to see....so like there was a good 40 minutes of driving through "heaven like conditions" wondering if I was going to make it through because it was sooo hard to see.

To going back to work on Monday with no day off from the 11 hour drive to recover and getting sent right back into the frenzy of work and figuring out what crazy happened while I was gone and getting back on track on what's happening in the store....

There's been a lot.

And like....sometimes it's too much to really want to think about....let alone write about.....hence the gap in posting the last few days....because writing just seemed like too much.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

What's Your Job?

 There's so many jobs out there that I would have never realized were like....careers people would have as jobs, if I hadn't randomly encountered them online or on TV.

Like, while I was aware that horses needed their hooves taken care of.

I didn't really equate that Cows would also need their hooves trimmed too.

They don't need shoes put on or anything. But kinda like fingernails...cows need their hooves trimmed or adjusted if an issue pops up.

And like it's technically a job that people don't have to do. Because cows have the ability to shed their hooves over time to help get rid of issues.

But having people help treat those issues speeds up the healing process.

Or like the variety of ways people sell items online is another method I've come across.

Like using a variety of beads and a scoop and the buyer gets a random assortment of items depending on what type of bead and amount of the beads are scooped up.

The one I discovered today was the fact that people who aren't paleontologists and aren't in the archaeologist/sciencey field....can turn finding fossils and selling into a career. 

And like it was something I was vaguely aware was a possibility I suppose.

I mean people who sell fossils have to get their fossil teeth and shells and such from somewhere. 

But like the show I encountered while channel surfing wasn't your tiny "here's some teeth. Here's a bunch of shells." sort of fossil hunting.

No they were ranchers/farmers who have fossil beds on their lands and during part of the year they go searching for fossils like actual SKELETONS of DINOSAURS to dig out and sell to MUSEUMS.

Like. WHAT?!

Like I didn't know that was a thing.....

At least not for the full on skeletons of dinosaurs.

I mean last year my family and I kinda encountered the concept on our way to the eclipse because we stopped by a local rock shops that sold smaller fossils and the lady in charge mentioned that ...either they dig the land or the farmers nearby dig the land? In either case someone in the area had fossils that they could find on their land that they dig up and sell.

And it's like....I didn't know that people could do that.

It's kinda a cool career honestly.

One that could make you stupid rich too if you find the right type of fossil.

Like the episode I caught they had a pretty complete skeleton of a T-Rex that they were looking to sell for 4 MILLION DOLLARS.

WHAT.

Like definitely a lucrative career.....if you find the right vein of dinosaur bones.

So yah.

Interesting the random careers you come across when you're channel or internet surfing.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Breakdowns

 There's a thing about trust being broken....

In that you recognize that things cannot be the same after that point.

And yet the heart yearns for those times before the trust was broken.

And yet the mind is going back to all those past interactions wondering just....just when did things start to go wrong. Was it lies from the beginning? Was it a slow decline? Was it just a wrong decision that caught brought to the light?

Who knows for sure what caused things to come to a head.

But this has been a year where I've watched multiple friendships between people just break down. Vanish. Alter. Change. 

Some have repaired themselves, though you can see things are not quite the same.

Some have fully ended. With no conversation taking place at all.

Others have become solely professional because they still work at the same location. 

And it's just .... I hurt for them.

For those who are hurting because of the decisions and actions of others.

For those who thought they had found their bestie. Their ride and die. Their confident.

And then get betrayed. To confide their fears and then have their friend turn around and become those fears. 

It makes it hard to trust people. I can see that. 

Makes it hard to want to make friends.

Because you wonder....how long will this friendship actually last IF a friendship is established.

The heart can only take rejection so many times before one shuts down.

And I've seen it happen a lot this year.

And it's just interesting to like...pick up pieces and clues that things weren't quite right. That things hadn't been what they seemed. 

Pick out the things you had ignored because they were your friend. And then realized that they were just taking advantage of you. 

It's been on my mind a lot this week. 

Mostly because I am the sort of person where I hold onto my friends as much as I can. 

So it boggles my mind that others would just...do things that would cause their friendships to dissolve and break.

It hurts. 

And I'm probably going to be chewing on it for a while more.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Will You Get It? For that Price?

 There's an interesting thing about collecting rocks/crystals....

And it's when you need to decide if the price is worth it for the rock.

Because like....if you end up in a tourist trap. Where all the visitors come to the state to shop when they're in town....things are going to be marked up as a bit more expensive. Because the tourists don't always know better.

They're buying the experience as well as the items really.

But then there's people like me....who go to gem fairs....where I know that I can get that $10 rock for $3. That $20 rock for $6. 

And it then becomes a question of .... is the rock worth it for that price....when I know I could potentially get it at the next gem fair for a much better price. 

And really....my decisions today mostly came down to availability. 

Like. Are these rocks that I SEE at the Gem Fairs I visit at home? Yes or no?

If yes. Then less likely to go for them when they're at tourist prices.

If No? Then I'm more likely to go for it because even though I don't quite like the price and know that I could get it elsewhere for less.... I haven't recently SEEN them anywhere else for LESS to GET. 

I visited two rock shops today. 

One...had the entire store half off. 

Which was great! Because it brought most of their products back down to Gem Fair prices and therefore meant that I felt more comfortable getting more rocks from them.

Even though I do tend to wonder when stores...even at the gem fairs...do their entire setups at Half Off or other such sells....if they marked the prices up before hand...so that the rocks are actually selling at their normal prices but because they increased the prices before starting the 'sale' everyone buys the products because they think they're getting a 'good' deal.

Hard to tell....Like yes I got the rocks for Gem Fair prices....and knowing that everyone needs to make a bit of a profit I can get having a bit of a mark up on their rocks. So I know in regular stores my typical $5 rock may be double if not triple that.

Plus who knows how tariffs are affecting prices. Like I noticed at the gem fair this past weekend that some items had increased in price a bit. So I'm sure tariffs are affecting things.

Regardless. 

Got more rocks at the half off store, most of them stones I haven't seen in a while or had been looking for at the Gem Fair but didn't find this past weekend. 

The other rock shop in the area was probably considered your more 'high end' one. Selling the fancy expensive jewelry...and charging $5 carvings at twice to 4 times the price. 

So I was less inclined to buy things there...even though I saw a ton of carvings I hadn't seen before and wanted to get...the prices were high enough that I was like "maaaybe I'll wait and see if I could get them at the next gem fair."

But there were a couple of other stones that I'd been softly looking for but haven't seen.

One was brought up just last weekend when I briefly encountered a coworker at the Gem Fair and they mentioned that they'd been looking for "Desert Rose" but hadn't seen in and asked if I'd seen any. 

And like I knew what the stone looked like. But hadn't actively seen it at the Gem Fair...

It didn't mean it wasn't there as it's a more raw stone and I tend to gloss over those as I prefer the more polished and carved stones. 

But it did seem like it had been a while since I'd seen them at the Gem Fair.

But at this rock shop I found a whole box filled with them.

So of course I had to get a couple for my coworker as they weren't that pricey all things considered and it was something they'd been looking for. 

The other is a stone I've been kinda softly keeping an eye out for but haven't really seen at the Gem Fairs recently either.

And that's Green Goldstone. 

Which as a manmade stone....the manmade stones aren't always as popular at the fairs....

but Goldstone in particular...when it is around...tends to be in its base Orangish Goldstone shade. 

Or occasionally in that purplyblueish stage.

Green Goldstone? Not so much. 

And while the palmstone I was looking at was about twice the price as I thought it should be....I haven't SEEN it at the Gem Fairs recently and I don't know WHEN I'll see it again.

So again, even though I didn't like the price. I did want the stone. So I went through with it and bought the Green Goldstone. 

Because it's one I haven't seen in a while and I wanted it.

So yah.

It's interesting....at what point is the price worth it?

At what point do you go "Yes it's more money than I want to spend but I NEED IT because I don't SEE it." 

I mean the opposite happened at the first store in some ways...where I ended up getting doubles of a couple of stones when I may have only gotten one because the price was half off. So I could get 2 for the price of one really. 

So yah. When do you buy? And when do you hang back?

It was an interesting dilemma for sure today that I face in those two rock shops.

Especially considering that most of my rock shopping has only been at the gem fairs for the past little bit.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi