Admirer

I'm probably never going to be a Fangirl.

It's not in my nature.
I have difficulties going 'out there' dressing up, being crazy, totally having the fangirl squealing moments when you finally meet those you want to meet.

No, I'll probably never Fangirl...

I do admire though.

Admire from a far really.

As I look at all the millions of fans that people have.
And figure....they don't need to know that I'm there.
It's great to see them.
But I don't think that they need to see me.

What's one more face in a crowd?
Nothing really.
A brief blur.
A flash of a smile.
And then the moment is quickly gone.

So, I'm rather content.
To sit back,
To lean against the wall.
To watch.

And see how other fans interact with those I too admire.

Perhaps I'm just content to watch, because I have difficulties being seen as a 'fan girl' I don't want people to think. "Oh it's just another girl who loves our stuff."

It would be cool to just be known as the 'cool girl' someone who is down to earth, but admires other's successes.

*shakes head*

Who knows.
I do know, that unless I step forward, I won't ever be recognized.

Today....today I didn't feel the need to step forward though.
Today I was content to sit back and watch and smile at other's happiness.

Let the others have their moments.
I'm fine watching them happen.

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi