Laughter

Laughter soothes the soul.
Really it does.
It brightens the day.
Makes you want to smile in return.

Unless...
You see laughter, and don't know the reason for it.

Then, then I don't like it much at all.
Because there's that little paranoid bit of me that wonders.
Are they laughing at me?
That nitpicky self that immediately tries to find something wrong with you, something that would make them laugh.
Is it my dress? My hair? Do I have something on my face? Oh no, I must just look funny.
It gets even worse when you look up and see them looking at you and smiling/laughing.

All self-confidence I might have had....gone.
That front, trying to be confident. Really. Really it's hard to put on.
Especially when you go in expecting to not have much interaction even though you want it.

Going anywhere by yourself.
You feel vulnerable.
Seeing a group of girls staring in your direction?
Totally every high school nightmare ever really.

*sighs*
Hopefully one day....confidence will stay when I hear laughter and don't know the reason behind it. Be better at convincing myself that they're not laughing at me, that they just happened to be looking in my direction.

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

The Dream

I was in my parents backyard. And there were these three guys. Teasing me. Picking on me, I tried to run up the hill, but was worried about my purse, all the stuff I had in there. I fished around in it looking for something to defend myself with. I couldn't find anything, and one of the guys was coming straight at me. So...I stood my ground, and earthbended. Taking on the Toph look. I focused mainly on shooting one guy up and down in the air, finally throwing him like a catapult over the grape fence that separated my parent's back yard and my neighbors Schaer's I intended to continue, but he started earthbending back at me. Covering himself in a rock armor. He came at me, the other two came at me....

Then the unholy tones of daylight pulled me away....
And I became myself again. :)

-S.N.D