The Spider Standoff

So there I was, at work, doing my usual morning tasks.
Checking in with our animals to see if they were doing well.
I was in a back room, checking out the charts.
When I happen to look at the wall...and see this Giant Spider making its way along it.
Seriously.
Big.
It was a daddy-long leg.
Which meant that even though its' body was smaller, its legs were creepily long. Long and slender like hair. Like 4 inches long, which is long for a spider, considering I don't see them that big....

:S

In any case, I stared at the spider...
I didn't want to kill it.
It was gigantic.
And I had other things to do...
so very reluctantly I turned away to resume checking in on the animals in that room.
And what do you know when I turn back?
It had vanished!

Cue. Freak out!!
AAAAHHHH!!!!
*scream run wail*

What if it had jumped on me while my back was turned! What if it was climbing to my hair! Where was it where was it?!

Oh...still there on the wall.

Basically, I did that everytime I had to turn back around. :S
Because seriously, that spider could blend in!
It doesn't help at all that the chart it chose to climb on was full of lines and papers and charts that made it difficult to see, especially because it would not hold still!!
No it would be in a different spot! But always going upwards.

To make it creepier, was watching its long slender legs move about.
At one point, it seemed to just go up onto two legs and stand up!
-I think there was a bit of invisible webbing there it was navigating.
Using it's first two legs to feel things out and such.
But finally.
Finally I was able to finish the charts.
About the same point the spider reached the ceiling.

That was the point where I was like "Okay. It is not Okay for you to be all the way up there!"
I did NOT want the thing Dropping on my HEAD the next time I opened the door.
*shudders*

So I grabbed the broom.
Held the very tippy top of the handle, keeping as far away from it as possible, stretching out my arms so I could brush at the spider.
Until it got on the broom,
At which point that dumb plastic cover at the top of the broom decided to fall off, dropping broom and spider onto the floor.
Cue Jump. Freak Out. Desperately pray that the spider stays in its corner while I stay in mine.
As I slowly pick up the broom.
Paranoid it's going to run and attack me. (which is silly I know. Drama people drama. ;) )
put the broom back together, hardly taking my eyes off of him, I again got the spider on the brush part of the broom, and gently swung it.
Trembling, shaking, sure that it would race up the broom handle to attack me.
I dropped it in the sink there.
Only to realize.
This is a HUGE spider!
It would take a whole lot more effort,
And waaaayyy to much of a close proximity of my hands to it to make it worth it to try and wash the bugger down the drain.
I was sure its long legs would have spread out and saved it from certain drowning.
And of course it could have climbed BACK UP out of the drain at a future point and ATTACK me then!! :S
Mehahaagggahhaaaaaahhh!! Do not want that to happen.
I mean, I just saw the thing climb the wall! A drain wouldn't be a problem for it! It could probably hold it's breath just fine!

So I grabbed a cup.
Which again put my hand too close to the giant creature.
As I, trembling, placed it over the spider, telling myself all the while that it can't jump...surely it won't jump and attack me. 
Managing to trap it there,
I grabbed a paper towel.
After all the thing could climb!!
To cover the top so it couldn't escape.
Gingerly I held the papertowel in place,
My hand as arched as it could be without letting the top slip off, nor leave gaps for it to wiggle it's way through to attack my hand (can spiders wiggle through gaps? O.o)
I sped walked through the store to the outside,
Eyes on the spider,
Confident that if it could it would sink its fangs right through the paper towel into my hand. (And I was not thinking of becoming Spiderman. No. Just the pain, the itchiness, the stupidity of thinking that it would try and bite me.)

And took it to a grassy area.

Opened the cup up.
Expecting it to just kinda dump out onto the grass.
But instead it clung to the paper towel.
Which obviously made me freak out.
Again, thinking it would attack me, bite me, hurt me. (I am being slightly overdramatic in this, but when adrenaline is rushing through your body....it comes up with crazy ideas.)
I dropped the paper towel with the typical quiet girly shriek of terror, with quick hand waving to make sure it hadn't latched onto my hand as it fell to the earth.

The spider,
Making landfall.
Quickly used it's long legs and blending abilities to move oh so creepily (like moving hair...O.o) away in the grass.

Away.
Keeping my eyes on it with difficulty,
I picked up the cup and paper towel.
And retreated to the safe confines of the store. Far. Far away from the spider. (I hope.)

Ugh.
I can still see it moving when I close my eyes!
Why do spiders have to move in such a freaky way?!

*sighs*
I hope some good comes from sparing the spider's life.
Because in the end....it may have been easier to try and get it down the drain....
Though I still would think it would climb back up the pipe at the most inopportune moment....
No outside is better for sure.

....Until it comes back.
....if it comes back.
Don't bring your friends, spider, okay?

;)

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi