The Right Place

This is going to be one of those posts that will probably be a bit rambling as I try to make sense of my thoughts.

As this is stemmed from frustration at myself for being less...proactive.

I mean my mind is screaming at me to do things.

And yet I end up sitting there...not doing the things I want to do.

Unless....unless I'm in certain places where I've trained myself that I can do the things that I want to do.

I'm speaking of writing.

It's no secret that I struggle to actively write out a story.

I'm great at short scenes, I'm good at coming up with plots.

But actually writing it out and completing a story concept.

Well....It's only happened like once lol. And I only managed a rough draft concept. The rewrite still hasn't happened and that was like four years ago. Y_Y (bad me)

It's hard for me to just sit down and do so....when my mind believes I should be proactive in doing something else.

I can't write yet, I have to do a, b, c, d, a, b, c, d, c, d, b, c, a, again and again before I can write!

And by the point I get to writing....it's bedtime and I have to give it up for the evening if I want to function in the morning.

*shakes head*

It's rather pathetic really.

That I have this huge motivation that once I get home I will sit down and write!

Only to sit down...and spend the day surfing the internet instead.

Mmmmggggg.

Honestly, I probably would find it easy to do at home....if home wasn't so relaxing.

....and if I stopped talking about cleaning my room and actually cleaned my room to give myself a bit more organization that way.

*shrugs*

Or...the home is meant to be for 'relaxing' and not for 'work'

and writing...is probably considered work.

-Though as long as I have something to semi-distract me. Like a chatting with a friend, listening to music, or watching a show on the side, I have no problems blogging.

But after like six years of doing this...that's not too surprising as I have the 'mindset' ingrained in me to blog everyday. lol.

Writing out plots/stories/thoughts though?

That's different.

It's true that I need to be distracted. I need background noise of the visual and auditory nature.

But putting shows, or the like at home for that purpose....doesn't work.

-I suppose it would if I just buckled down and attempted it. *shakes head*

Yet.

I find it much easier to get down the story thoughts tumbling around my head.

When I'm not home.

At home, all motivation seeps away faster than a bucket with no bottom.

Which is why, for the past little while.

I've taken to finding other places to sit and write....

And basically make the environment I need to do what I want to do.

It's been nice though, to find myself getting into the mindset of writing so easily now.

Where if I sit down in a certain place, and have access to my phone for brief distractions, and to music or voices in the background, with the ability to look up and people watch for a bit.

I do rather well with writing.

It's not like I speed through it at all. *shakes head* I feel that I jot down ideas rather slowly lol

But at least I am able to jot down ideas. :)

And hopefully, I'll go more from jotting down ideas on paper, to writing out scenes on paper....and eventually be able to overcome the fearsome monster of actually writing on a laptop in a word document the story. Being able to get out the whole story, being able to edit it, critique it, and get it out there completed.

A step by step process.

That will have it's setbacks for sure.

But hopefully if I'm able to continue keeping up a pattern of writing in these places.

I'll be able to write faster and for longer and end up being happier with myself in the long run. lol.

Especially when I finally consider a story to be finished!!

*fingers crossed* for me guys. Okay?

:)

Until you next see these words;

I'll be watching the leaves.

Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi