What Went Wrong?

You know the stages of grief??

Pretty sure I've gone through the writer's version of that today.
More specifically, the fanfic writer's version of it today. 

*shakes head*

So on Friday I ended up getting a semi-writing prompt.
I say Semi because like...I could have just answered the question/statement asked to me and been like "Oh cool, I never thought of that." 
But like...I like a challenge every now and then.
and if someone's sent me in a prompt.
It gives me motivation to write that particular thing quicker. 
So instead of spending weeks on a story.
I spend like half a day working on a short story thing.

And like...it's a mostly win win situation.
Because a) I write and post something (yay)
And b) the asker gets a story in return for sending me their concept. (yay) 

I mean...the 'losing' part of that situation is that if I get in a writing prompt....
Then like all my other projects suddenly get side tracked and tabled for who knows how long. 
*exhales*
I have waaaaaayyyy too many half written fics in my docs currently. 
I really need to have a Goal to get those all written and posted at the end of the year. 
Ha. We'll see. ;) 

In any case.
I got this story idea on Friday.
And spent like all day working on it.
And loved the concept I was building, the background of the story I was imagining, and just...having fun. Anticipating how all my followers would react to reading this story as it wasn't quite along the same vein as the others I'd posted. 

However...
I didn't get the idea done Friday. *exhales* 
Which...it was fine...I had all day Saturday to do so.
Only....a stupid migraine struck and you know...writing is seriously difficult when you're under attack with one of those.
When the migraine struck again on Sunday though I was like "No! My prompter needs an answer! I want to finish this!!!" 

And that's what I did.
I spent the day, working through that headache finishing that fic and got it ready and posted it last night!!

And then I sat.
Anticipating.
Eagerly waiting to see what people's reactions would be to this story.

And you know what I got?

Basically crickets chirping. 

Okay....maybe people are busy. It was a Sunday night...people have plans on Sunday nights right? I've had a slow start before. But by the morning, people will have responded to the story and I would get all the feedback I needed. 

Only....
This morning?
I woke up.
To no feedback.

People have the option of liking or reblogging my fics....and usually I get a lot of likes and many reblogs.
But this morning?
Barely 10. 

Which was... well it's crazy.

I haven't had such a slow response to a fic since I first ventured into that particular fandom.

The last three or four fics I've written....have basically skyrocketed. Where I could get 100 notes in like three or four hours. 

So to have just 10 notes.....for one of MY fics?

Yah. It was weird. 
It's still weird.
Why is this fic not getting attention?
Is it that my notification system isn't working correctly so the people I usually notify when I post...weren't notified? 
Is it the type of story itself? Do people not actually like the particular genre I chose for this fic?
Are people just busy? Is it finals week? Is it spring break and everyone's gone? I don't know. 
*shakes head* 
Or is it......did I write a bad story? Is it so awful that people don't want to read it? Don't like it?

It's unsettling really.
Like logically I know that it's not the last one. My writing can't have tanked between one fic and the next.
I mean I showed a friend the story before I posted it and they absolutely loved it! 
And I loved it!

So why is it not gaining attention?!?!

*exhales* I have no idea.
I really don't.

But like the fact that I've gotten little feedback on it....
Has left me doubting myself.

And it's here where I've been going through like the "Fic stages of Grief" or whatever.

Excitement. Anticipation that this story is going to be as popular as the last ones. Unable to wait to see what people think of it.
Confusion when nothing happens.
Disbelief when nothing continues to happen. 
Doubt and Despair. Wondering if I am actually as great as a writer as I thought I was. Wondering if I'd just set myself up to fail. 
Then there's the thought of :WELL FINE. I Won't WRITE EVER AGAIN!! I'm horrible!! AHHHHHH
Which moves to :I won't write for this Fandom Ever again! I'm going back to my old one if you won't appreciate me!

Which was kinda my mindset when I went to bed last night. lol. 
But today it moved onto better perspectives.
Understanding. Okay. Maybe this story wasn't for everyone. It's going to have to fade into obscurity. 
Determination. The determination to ensure that the next story I write for the fandom is a good one. That I'll write another one and that story will be just as popular as previous ones to my last one. 

and probably acceptance somewhere in there too lol. 


But basically I moved from the stages of "I'm never ever writing again. To I'll write somewhere else, to Okay yah I'm writing again!" 
I moved from the stages of "I wrote the story all wrong! To Okay it didn't do well but that just means this genre isn't really popular in the fandom. My next story will be great" 

*exhales* 
In any case.
It's still off putting that this story hasn't done well.

But like...there's nothing more I can do.
I double checked my tagging system, altered the summary to better explain the type of story, and yah....did what I could to ensure people would see me....
But like if people don't want to read the story...
There's not much I can do about it.

Just get back to work.
Write.
And hope that the next one does better. ^^;;

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi