Stepping Up

You know...at some point I keep feeling like I should eventually feel like an actual adult.

Instead of just pretending to be one.

But it's hard to feel grown up when...well I haven't exactly accomplished all the 'grown-up' things.

Namely getting married, having a family, owning my own home.

Like sure. I have a job. Sure I've graduated from college. 

But there are plenty of days where I don't feel grown up.

Where I feel like there's something more I need to be doing. Like it doesn't matter how old I am...I still feel like I'm only like...18 even though I haven't been a teenager for a good decade. 

So I suppose that's part of the reason why I have been rather hesitant to step up into a management position at work.

I don't quite feel 'old enough' to be a manager.

Yet at the same time, I'm well aware that there have been managers over me that have been younger than me.

So like...if they can handle being in charge and having the responsibility of being the manager....why can't I? 

Like I know I can be a good leader, I've had leadership positions before at church, in school, at institute. Like...I know I can do it.

It just feels like a big...grown up step. 

One that I think I may finally be ready to take...if I can handle the normal stresses of my department and have my managers be impressed with how I work with customers....

So yah...it doesn't quite seem real that I can be 'old enough' to be a manager.

Yet I know I can be. I know I can handle it.

It's just...an slightly unknown different step. 

A change in my routine.

And I don't know how well I'll handle this change....but still...it's something to try out to see if I can do it.

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi