What's Your Job?

 There's so many jobs out there that I would have never realized were like....careers people would have as jobs, if I hadn't randomly encountered them online or on TV.

Like, while I was aware that horses needed their hooves taken care of.

I didn't really equate that Cows would also need their hooves trimmed too.

They don't need shoes put on or anything. But kinda like fingernails...cows need their hooves trimmed or adjusted if an issue pops up.

And like it's technically a job that people don't have to do. Because cows have the ability to shed their hooves over time to help get rid of issues.

But having people help treat those issues speeds up the healing process.

Or like the variety of ways people sell items online is another method I've come across.

Like using a variety of beads and a scoop and the buyer gets a random assortment of items depending on what type of bead and amount of the beads are scooped up.

The one I discovered today was the fact that people who aren't paleontologists and aren't in the archaeologist/sciencey field....can turn finding fossils and selling into a career. 

And like it was something I was vaguely aware was a possibility I suppose.

I mean people who sell fossils have to get their fossil teeth and shells and such from somewhere. 

But like the show I encountered while channel surfing wasn't your tiny "here's some teeth. Here's a bunch of shells." sort of fossil hunting.

No they were ranchers/farmers who have fossil beds on their lands and during part of the year they go searching for fossils like actual SKELETONS of DINOSAURS to dig out and sell to MUSEUMS.

Like. WHAT?!

Like I didn't know that was a thing.....

At least not for the full on skeletons of dinosaurs.

I mean last year my family and I kinda encountered the concept on our way to the eclipse because we stopped by a local rock shops that sold smaller fossils and the lady in charge mentioned that ...either they dig the land or the farmers nearby dig the land? In either case someone in the area had fossils that they could find on their land that they dig up and sell.

And it's like....I didn't know that people could do that.

It's kinda a cool career honestly.

One that could make you stupid rich too if you find the right type of fossil.

Like the episode I caught they had a pretty complete skeleton of a T-Rex that they were looking to sell for 4 MILLION DOLLARS.

WHAT.

Like definitely a lucrative career.....if you find the right vein of dinosaur bones.

So yah.

Interesting the random careers you come across when you're channel or internet surfing.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Breakdowns

 There's a thing about trust being broken....

In that you recognize that things cannot be the same after that point.

And yet the heart yearns for those times before the trust was broken.

And yet the mind is going back to all those past interactions wondering just....just when did things start to go wrong. Was it lies from the beginning? Was it a slow decline? Was it just a wrong decision that caught brought to the light?

Who knows for sure what caused things to come to a head.

But this has been a year where I've watched multiple friendships between people just break down. Vanish. Alter. Change. 

Some have repaired themselves, though you can see things are not quite the same.

Some have fully ended. With no conversation taking place at all.

Others have become solely professional because they still work at the same location. 

And it's just .... I hurt for them.

For those who are hurting because of the decisions and actions of others.

For those who thought they had found their bestie. Their ride and die. Their confident.

And then get betrayed. To confide their fears and then have their friend turn around and become those fears. 

It makes it hard to trust people. I can see that. 

Makes it hard to want to make friends.

Because you wonder....how long will this friendship actually last IF a friendship is established.

The heart can only take rejection so many times before one shuts down.

And I've seen it happen a lot this year.

And it's just interesting to like...pick up pieces and clues that things weren't quite right. That things hadn't been what they seemed. 

Pick out the things you had ignored because they were your friend. And then realized that they were just taking advantage of you. 

It's been on my mind a lot this week. 

Mostly because I am the sort of person where I hold onto my friends as much as I can. 

So it boggles my mind that others would just...do things that would cause their friendships to dissolve and break.

It hurts. 

And I'm probably going to be chewing on it for a while more.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Will You Get It? For that Price?

 There's an interesting thing about collecting rocks/crystals....

And it's when you need to decide if the price is worth it for the rock.

Because like....if you end up in a tourist trap. Where all the visitors come to the state to shop when they're in town....things are going to be marked up as a bit more expensive. Because the tourists don't always know better.

They're buying the experience as well as the items really.

But then there's people like me....who go to gem fairs....where I know that I can get that $10 rock for $3. That $20 rock for $6. 

And it then becomes a question of .... is the rock worth it for that price....when I know I could potentially get it at the next gem fair for a much better price. 

And really....my decisions today mostly came down to availability. 

Like. Are these rocks that I SEE at the Gem Fairs I visit at home? Yes or no?

If yes. Then less likely to go for them when they're at tourist prices.

If No? Then I'm more likely to go for it because even though I don't quite like the price and know that I could get it elsewhere for less.... I haven't recently SEEN them anywhere else for LESS to GET. 

I visited two rock shops today. 

One...had the entire store half off. 

Which was great! Because it brought most of their products back down to Gem Fair prices and therefore meant that I felt more comfortable getting more rocks from them.

Even though I do tend to wonder when stores...even at the gem fairs...do their entire setups at Half Off or other such sells....if they marked the prices up before hand...so that the rocks are actually selling at their normal prices but because they increased the prices before starting the 'sale' everyone buys the products because they think they're getting a 'good' deal.

Hard to tell....Like yes I got the rocks for Gem Fair prices....and knowing that everyone needs to make a bit of a profit I can get having a bit of a mark up on their rocks. So I know in regular stores my typical $5 rock may be double if not triple that.

Plus who knows how tariffs are affecting prices. Like I noticed at the gem fair this past weekend that some items had increased in price a bit. So I'm sure tariffs are affecting things.

Regardless. 

Got more rocks at the half off store, most of them stones I haven't seen in a while or had been looking for at the Gem Fair but didn't find this past weekend. 

The other rock shop in the area was probably considered your more 'high end' one. Selling the fancy expensive jewelry...and charging $5 carvings at twice to 4 times the price. 

So I was less inclined to buy things there...even though I saw a ton of carvings I hadn't seen before and wanted to get...the prices were high enough that I was like "maaaybe I'll wait and see if I could get them at the next gem fair."

But there were a couple of other stones that I'd been softly looking for but haven't seen.

One was brought up just last weekend when I briefly encountered a coworker at the Gem Fair and they mentioned that they'd been looking for "Desert Rose" but hadn't seen in and asked if I'd seen any. 

And like I knew what the stone looked like. But hadn't actively seen it at the Gem Fair...

It didn't mean it wasn't there as it's a more raw stone and I tend to gloss over those as I prefer the more polished and carved stones. 

But it did seem like it had been a while since I'd seen them at the Gem Fair.

But at this rock shop I found a whole box filled with them.

So of course I had to get a couple for my coworker as they weren't that pricey all things considered and it was something they'd been looking for. 

The other is a stone I've been kinda softly keeping an eye out for but haven't really seen at the Gem Fairs recently either.

And that's Green Goldstone. 

Which as a manmade stone....the manmade stones aren't always as popular at the fairs....

but Goldstone in particular...when it is around...tends to be in its base Orangish Goldstone shade. 

Or occasionally in that purplyblueish stage.

Green Goldstone? Not so much. 

And while the palmstone I was looking at was about twice the price as I thought it should be....I haven't SEEN it at the Gem Fairs recently and I don't know WHEN I'll see it again.

So again, even though I didn't like the price. I did want the stone. So I went through with it and bought the Green Goldstone. 

Because it's one I haven't seen in a while and I wanted it.

So yah.

It's interesting....at what point is the price worth it?

At what point do you go "Yes it's more money than I want to spend but I NEED IT because I don't SEE it." 

I mean the opposite happened at the first store in some ways...where I ended up getting doubles of a couple of stones when I may have only gotten one because the price was half off. So I could get 2 for the price of one really. 

So yah. When do you buy? And when do you hang back?

It was an interesting dilemma for sure today that I face in those two rock shops.

Especially considering that most of my rock shopping has only been at the gem fairs for the past little bit.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi 

Wind a Blowin

 Gotta say. I'm not really a fan of wind. 

Like I like that it indicates that a storm is most likely on it's way because it's showing that there's a changing of pressure happening. 

But when the wind is blowing rather strongly like whipping the trees around or breaking off branches or shaking the house strongly.

Yah...no. I don't like it.

Like at home we've had gusts of winds strong enough to toss the deck chairs about. 

And I haven't liked dealing with the wind at home either. Though the house feels a bit more secure.

But where I'm currently staying?

The wind kinda has me on edge a bit more....

Because I'm out on the plains.

I'm in an area that has had tornadoes happen in neighboring counties.

So like whenever the wind starts picking up and blowing and shaking the house?

I'm always wondering if there's a tornado gonna come.

Unlikely.

But yah. It feels a bit more unprotected even while indoors when there's just open plains all around.

And while I have been enjoying the rain and watching the clouds zooming by.

I really would much prefer having calm sunny days while I'm out here so I can enjoy the outdoors. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Outside Light

It's crazy how the lighting in a place can change how one is feeling when you're inside a home.

Like how sitting with all the windows doors and blinds closed....can make you feel one way.

But then the moment you open up things and let the outside light in....the whole feeling of the house changes.

Maybe it's just me being used to having more natural light shining into my home when I'm home. 

But it was interesting today how a lot of the tension I was feeling eased up a bit once I could see the outside world and get the natural light shining in.

Which does make me wonder about those individuals who live in homes who are like always shut up. Doors always closed. Blinds always closed. No way to see outside. No light coming inside.

It can't be good for the mind.

Like I could feel a difference from just a few hours....I can't quite imagine how people would feel after days or weeks or months or even years....

But then again....everyone is different. People have different tolerances for lights.

Like I tend to like more yellow lights inside my homes because the white lights irritate me.

But I'm sure there's many people where it's opposite.

But yah.

Note to self bring in more natural light. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Do You Know That Noise?

 It's interesting the ambient sounds that you become used to when you live in specific areas and how those ambient sounds could mean something completely different depending on where you've lived and where you're visiting or moved to. 

For example. 

I'm currently staying out in the country. 

The city is a long drive away. 

Wide open fields and such.

But it's the sort of country living where you cant take your rifle out back and shoot some rounds for fun because there's nobody living behind you because the neighbors are for the most part so far apart it takes fifteen minutes to walk to the next home. 

Me? Even though I live in surburbia...I don't usually hear gunfire. 

I've wondered before. But it's like.....fireworks? Maybe gunshot? But most often with a college being nearby its mroe than likely fireworks.

Out here? The sounds to me were like "Is someone banging on a metal sheet?" 

And my godparents are like "No, the neighbor's are shooting." and then list off the specific type of weapon they're using.

Which I find impressive that they can tell what type of gun is shot just by the sound. 

Especially because I would have no idea. To me it just sounds like someone working about making loud noise building something. Though knowing I'm out in the country and people use guns to defend against wild animals and such I did wonder if it was gunfire I was hearing.

But like....they also have a neighbor who's recently moved to the country from a city where if you heard gunfire someting REALLY BAD happened. So it took that neighbor and is still taking that neighbor a while to equate the sounds of gunfire to "oh they're just shooting for fun, hitting targets on their land." Or "Probably just killed a varmit.' variety. 

Like it's just so interesting how sounds can affect how you react to an environment, especially when you are constantly around said sound or are rarely around said sound. 

It's never something I considered.

But like it makes sense.

Like there are people who can tell you what kind of car is coming up on you just by the sound of the engine.

And like birders can identify different bird species by their calls even if calls sound similar. 

I know that at work I'm sensitive to when the Fish System turns on and off and I can sometimes hear when water levels in the sumps have gotten too low because they make certain noises. 

So like....

It's just interesting. What sounds we do pay attention to and which ones we don't. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Off On a Journey

 I do have to say, that I do enjoy driving. 

Like just getting on the road and a few hours later you're miles and miles and maybe an entire state or two away from home.

It's kinda amazing how quickly we can suddenly be in a totally different place.

The only downside to roadtrips is when you see amazing scenery... and being unable to take a picture when you're the one driving. 

But still. 

It's nice. 

To just get out and get away.

Be somewhere different for a while. 

Though I do have to say that drivers are just as frustrating....like why did everyone suddenly decide that they needed to drive 10 miles UNDER the posted speed limit?????

I encountered it so many times on my drive and it's just left me so confused.

Like sure. Go the speed limit. That's normal.

Go slightly faster than the speed limit.

but UNDER?

WHY?!

Like I get it when it's bigger rigs because it is hard to go fast when you're towing something heavy.

But like regular car cars were going stupid slow.

And I don't get it.

Why is everyone going slower than the posted speed limit?

That's MORE of a safety hazard than going faster. Because if people behind you aren't paying attention and come up on you faster than expected they're more likely to hit you.

It's just....so weird.

I don't get it.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Regular Shopping Trip

 Gotta say I love going to the Gem Fairs. 

For one. SO MANY SHINY THINGS!

But also for two. So many rocks!

Which is bad because I always overspend at them despite setting myself a huge budget lol.

Probably by this point I could set up my own table and sell all the rocks I've collected....but I love all my rocks...I don't want to get rid of them yet.

But in any case.

I really enjoy going to the gem fairs here.

Especially because I've become a regular enough that certain vendors have started to recognize me.

Which is always fun when they recognize me because we can have little conversations.

But also because they're willing to give me slight discounts on the rocks I buy.

So it's always nice to come away with rocks that cost slightly less than adverstized.

Which probably doesn't help my spending habits at all at the gem fair.

But it is nice to just be known in the area and to have people who like seeing you. 

So yah.

Love the gem fair.

So much.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Seriously. What Was Accomplished?

 *exhales* 

I get that work can get busy. Especially in the evening. 

There's usually a rush of people right after the mid manager leaves. So the last couple of hours that the store is opened can be a rather hectic time. Especially if you get needy customers that demand your time and attention.

But at the same time... for the most part, when I close, I don't let that affect how closing goes. 

Like yes, there are bad nights where facing is hard to get done and sometimes it's just a cursory facing at that to make it look kinda nice. 

But like....

You would think after being told that the store hadn't been faced and that the PRIORITY after I left for the evening for the closing manager was to FACE THE STORE would be that the store would GET FACED.

But NOooooooooo

Like on the surface walking into the building this morning things looked okay.

But when I went to check on Cat Food. The section I specifically pointed out as needing to be faced so that we could do counts in the morning. 

What did I find?

Exactly.

An untouched section.

Like sure. I could see on the very last aisle where my manager had started facing. 

But the rest of the section?

Nada. 

Zip.

It was untouched. No effort made whatsoever to make the section look pretty. 

And it was just....irritating. Frustrating. I was annoyed to the point where I was giving myself a headache because my closing manager had ONE TASK and FAILED TO DO IT.

And of course the excuse was "It got busy right after you left. I was doing a, b, c and d and by the time I looked up it was half an hour before we closed and I hadn't done any of the closing tasks yet." 

But the closing manager 'tried' to get cat faced.....by telling our Petcare person to face it....which they obviously did not do or IF they did it they did NOT do it RIGHT because it looked untouched.

And it's frustrating because like the closing manager should be WALKING THE STORE before leaving for the night to make sure things look okay ---which yes I don't always do that, but I am usually walking the store right at close to make sure there's no customers AND I'd have already faced the areas so if anything it would be looking for obvious items out of place. 

But like.....it's so frustrating. So. Very. Frustrating. To set someone to a task and to have it unfinished. Just GAH.

I'm so glad I'm gone from work for the next little bit because I've had it. 

I need a break from the work stress. Stat. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

What Was Accomplished?

 I kinda hate to say it...

But it's probably a really good thing that I came in to work today to cover my other manager's shift. 

Because like....if she had come in...she wouldn't have worked truck because she probably wouldn't have been feeling well. And if she hadn't come in and no one else could cover...then truck wouldn't have been touched much regardless....of her presence or not.

But like. My presence made a tangible difference in how much of yesterday's remaining truck got knocked out today.

Which is great in that I won't be caught off guard at 'how much' of truck was left when I go in in the morning. 

But it would have been quite a mountain of work left for me to slog through compared to the hill I managed to chip it down to today.

Which really just begs the question of like.... WHAT WERE MY OTHER MANAGERS DOING ALL DAY!?!?! AHHHHHHH.

Like Yes, morning manager as the opening tasks that need to be done to ensure the store is ready for the day. But that at most takes a couple of hours. 

But when I came in a couple of hours after that point...it seemed like they'd just barely started working on truck right before I arrived....which isn't great considering the store had been opened for a couple of hours by that point....

Like We still had quite a bit of truck left. Like at least a half pallet of dog food that I can remember. Maybe two? since the manager was working another one...maybe it was an unfinished one from last night. 

But like....

None of the totes had been touched. The cat cans hadn't been finished last night and so those had to be finished.

It was just like....

Trying to figure out just how much would have been done if I'd actually not been present.

Like morning manager got the rest of the dog food put out and was working on a cart or two of totes that I could tell....

And when closing manager came in I had them start working on cat totes...which was like...maybe 8 boxes? And I ended up doing ONE of those boxes and it took them like SIX HOURS to work on SEVEN BOXES. Like it DOES NOT TAKE AN HOUR PER BOX WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW?!?! AHHHH.

Like in my eight hour shift I managed to do two carts filled with cat cans, 16 boxes of petcare totes, a cat totes, and a cart and a half filled with dog stuff all the while multitasking helping in petcare, picking orders, covering lunches, and other things. Like....I did SO MUCH in my eight hours....

And like....if I hadn't been there.....what all would have actually gotten done? A couple of pallets of dog food? maybe 8 boxes of cat? MAYBE? IF the closing manager WORKED on truck at all? Because opening manager is NOT GREAT at communicating what needs to be done. So maybe Truck wouldn't have been touched AT ALL once morning manager had left. 

It's just....frustrating....how slow some people move and like....what doesn't end up being a priority on their list even when they're told it should be a priority. 

Like I mentioned multiple times to the closing manager that "we're 4 hours behind on truck so we need to get this done." and they still moved SO SLOW. Just. *bangs head against wall* 

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Because it feels like I'll be the one doing all the work. AGAIN.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

It Was Expected

 It's kinda exhausting ... to mentally have to prepare yourself to not get a day off. 

Like since last Saturday that's kinda been my mindset...maybe even before then. 

Because my EL manager has been sick for a while...dealing with morning sickness and a couple other issues on top of that. 

But like.... the illness has been bad enough she's had to go to the hospital a few times because she can't hold down food, and barely can hold down water on a good day.

Which isn't great when you're trying to get nutrients for yourself and for your little one. 

I'm really hoping that this is just a first trimester illness for her and things will improve after that point...because having to deal with 9 months of stress is not great for her.

And not great for us either. 

Because it sucks at the moment to schedule her and wonder "will she be able to come in today." 

Hence my mindset the past week or so. 

Just mentally preparing to have to come in on my day off, or stay longer for a shift, or go without a middle manager and not be able to take a lunch. 

And even when she does make it into the store....she's basically a ghost manager. Because if she's not in the bathroom throwing up then she's hiding in an office trying to not throw up. 

So while she's present...she's not present....

So it came as no surprise when I received the call tonight.... that she's called out for tomorrow....on my day off ... and that I was asked if I was able to come in to cover her shift.

Which yah. I am able to.

I'd already mentally prepared myself for the possibility. 

But it would be nice to just be able to you know.... relax on a day off without worrying about how the store is doing or how the EL is doing and how coverage is going. 

Like...I'm going on vacation this weekend.....and I'll be out of the store for a while....

And it's like...will the other managers be okay without me there? Especially if the EL is constantly calling out? 

Like we haven't managed to fill our empty manager position. 

I can't imagine how well it's going to go with us being down 2 managers...and maybe a third manager if the EL keeps calling out for illness....

I've wondered more than once if I should just cancel the vacation and stick around.

But at the same time....

I'm kinda tired of catering to everyone else's issues. 

I've had this vacation planned for a while now. I had no idea my EL was expecting when I did my vacation plans. I was trying to plan it where we'd be fine with coverage.

Like...I was doing all I could to make sure we'd be fine when I was gone.

And I hate that it feels like I'm screwing over the store by going on vacation...when I did everything I could to ensure that this week would be an okay week to go. 

It's frustrating.

So frustrating. 

But at least I was already mentally prepared for tomorrow. So I can get tomorrow's shift out of the way and then my obligation to help out at work for coverage will be done for the week. 

*fingers crossed* that everything goes well.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Worn Down

 The thing about being stressed is that .... after a while, it kinda wears you down.

And usually it's easy enough to head it off. By resting. Getting enough sleep etc.

But I've been pushing myself a bit more the past week or so because we've been trying to get a ton of stuff done before I head out on vacation, but also because there's been so many people calling out sick this week that it's messed with plans and schedules and such.

So I haven't been able to rest and relax as much as I've wanted to. 

and even if I am resting I'm probably stressing in my subconscious because I've been worrying about how work is going to function while I'm gone.

Add into that going in on my day off yesterday to cover for 3 coworkers who called out sick....3 coworkers who I've interacted with in the past few days....

It's no surprise that today I've been feeling a bit crummy.

Achy muscles. Tightness in the chest. A slight dryness to the throat. A slight runniness to the nose....

All the signs that I'm probably coming down with something. A minor cold at least. 

I hope it's just a minor cold.

Because I do not want whatever crazy my coworkers got because it sounds much worse.

But it also has me stressing out more because I've been looking forward to this vacation for like a month now....and to be at the finish line and to get maybe sick?

Yah. I'm so frustrated at it. 

Because if I get sick I won't be going. I'm on driving by myself anywhere if I'm feeling crummy. Plus I don't want to get my family I'm visiting sick....

So right now I'm in emergency. "TRY EVERYTHING TO AVOID IT!" mode.

Which mostly involves just resting/sleeping and drinking lots and lots of liquids to try and flush out anything in my system ASAP. 

Because I would much rather be out having fun on a vacation than home sick and miserable.

Hopefully I can manage to get this slight cold gone within the next day or too.

Though tomorrow is going to test it for sure since I have a long 10 hour shift in front of me.

Ugh.

Wish me luck.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Calling Out

I have to say that I am counting down the days until I can head out on vacation because this past week has been a trial of dealing with fire after fire at work where plans don't go to plan and I forsee this upcoming week before I vanish being even more of a trial because it always feels like work likes to catch fire right before I leave to go anywhere.

Take today for example. 

We had our Morning Petcare call out sick last night. Which I was aware of but was able to find coverage for.

BUT THEN a couple of hours after I had left our Morning Cashier also called last night to ALSO CALL OUT for today. Leaving us without a morning Cashier. 

And the cashier said she would contact others and let us know if she found anyone...but we're not sure if she actually found anyone....needless to say....we were without a morning cashier this morning.

AND THEN this morning the Petcare chat gets a text because our Closing Petcare is ALSO calling out SICK but they tried calling out early enough in the morning that the store wasn't opened yet so they couldn't reach the store.

And it's like. Seriously?

THREE PEOPLE? Calling out in ONE DAY?

*exhales*

Like the odds aren't high for that to happen but SERIOUSLY?!

And it literally sucks for Petcare because at the moment we only have FOUR people who are actively petcare. 

And TWO of them were sick and ONE of them was already covering the other and ONE was on vacation. 

Which leaves NO one to cover. 

.... Except me.

Which was tricky because while I could cover I also had to watch my hours to avoid going into overtime. So I could only come in for a handful of hours and not an entire shift. 

So a different manager who also had a handful of hours to spare also ended up coming in to help cover a bit of the cashiering but also a bit of the petcare shifts until I could get in to cover the rest of petcare and it's just like....

WHY?

It's Soo frustrating. 

And now I'm really really expecting this week to not go well.

Because basically every single person in petcare requested at least some time off this week. And if half of the crew is on vacation and the other half is sick.... WHO IS GOING TO WORK IN PETCARE?

I honestly don't know.

And it doesn't leave me hopeful at all that things are going to go well while I'm gone on vacation either.

It leaves me wondering if I should actually be going on vacation, but at the same time I'm getting stressed out enough at work that I really need a break from everyone else's drama before I snap.

*exhales*

Hopefully things go better than I expect.

But we'll see.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Do A Little More Please

 I already knew today's plan was going to go a bit off the rails when it came to work because I'd been informed that our morning petcare person had called out sick....and unfortunately no one was available to cover the shift. 

Which meant that our morning manager would need to do a quick open of petcare before the store opened. 

Not the most ideal as we've been planning to get a bunch of resets done today and things have already been thrown off multiple times this week with people getting sick and other factors out of our control.

So to have Petcare also getting sick and causing a delay in tasks....

Yah. Not ideal.

But needed. 

And I wasn't too concerned with this manager opening petcare as they have done it before and did it well enough I figured they'd get most of it done before I came in.....though I did have my misgivings about it because like.... I was wanting to expect the best case scenario. But wasn't putting my hopes on actually getting the best case scenario. 

As I told my closing manager who was contacting my opening manager about the plan for the morning, to let them know that I would take over and do the rest of opening once I came in for my mid shift. 

And that's a bit where my misgivings began...because like....how much would this manager actually DO knowing that I would be in to take over in opening petcare a couple of hours after the store opened?

Would it change their plan knowing I was coming in in comparison to there being no one in until later in the day? 

Who knew.

Best case scenario would be the scenario I came into last time they had to open petcare which was that I just needed to feed the fish and we were golden. 

Expected case would be that they'd only be able to get the back rooms and cat done, leaving me to do the rest of the floor and the fish tasks. 

Since they were the only manager on duty this morning and also needed to complete all their Manager tasks too that need to be done before the store opened....

I was kinda thinking the latter case would the the situation I would walk into. That I would need to feed the fish and the animals on the floor while the 'off floor tasks' of the back rooms and cats would be completed. 

*exhales*

But when I came in a couple of hours after we opened and checked in with my morning manager to see what needed to be done....

They stated that they'd only done the cats. And had pulled some dead fish.

That was it. 

And it left me just.....frustrated and disappointed.

Because like why would you not at least open the back rooms too? It took me like maybe 15 minutes total. Not that long to do so. 

And it was kinda expected because we have animals in our iso rooms who have meds that need to be given both morning and evening currently so they kinda need those meds IN THE MORNING. 

So I had to clarify with them the expectations on ensuring that the backrooms get opened before the store is opened.

But yah....

It was frustrating because while that manager had their own agenda of Manager tasks that they were also working to complete before they left for the day....

I too had my own tasks I needed to do.

And it kinda felt like this manager shoved all of petcare onto me so that they could focus solely on their own tasks.

Which yes, I have way more experience in petcare and can get it all done much quicker than everyone else.

But still. A bit more equality would have been appreciated. 

I had my own scans I could have been doing. My own resets I needed to get done.

All of which ended up delayed by a couple of hours because I had to open far more of petcare than expected and also work with all the petcare customers and such.

So yah.

Not the greatest Saturday I've walked into.

But I managed to get everything that I could get done done. So ha!

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Making It Fit

 There's something satisfying about accomplishing a task that seems near impossible. 

We had a truck come in earlier in the week. 

A little larger than normal pallet wise...but also in our overstock.

And I'm not sure if it's just because we didn't manage to work enough of the back room stock out onto the floor this past week....or if the DC just sent us waaaay too much of certain product with the expectation that that product would have sold enough so that we could fit the new product on the shelves when it came in only for it to not fit...

But well. 

It didn't fit.

We've had a flat cart and a shopping cart of various types of cat food in our receiving area since Truck came in that should have been placed in our overstock shelves....only said overstock shelves were stocked full of product. 

And this morning, it was my goal to get as much food out onto the floor as I could. So that I could actually get all of our overstock to fit into the overstock area without it overflowing elsewhere.

And I managed it!!!

It took a bit of finagling and such because for all the cat stuff we've sold this week....it was all product that we didn't have more of in the back. So while I wasn't able to put out as much stock as I was hoping to put out....I did manage to get enough out to jigsaw in everything else so it all fit onto the proper shelves and such. 

Which is great!

Until you consider that we have another truck coming in in a few days....I'm hoping we can get more product out to the shelves before that so the back room is emptier in preparation for the new stuff flowing in.

But we'll see. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Ripple Effects

 I feel for my coworkers. 

Like. 

With the events that happened on campus yesterday. 

I'm affected...but not that affected.

There's a connection. It's my school. I was on campus recently. I know the area. I work nearby.

But I wasn't there.

My coworkers though?

Not so much.

Interacting with them today it was interesting to see the various takes on it.

From the "Oh I wasn't there but I had friends and family who were there who saw everything."

to "I wasn't there but I live in the apartments nearby so I'm affected because of the helicopters and the blocked roads and the lockdown that happened."

to "I was eating lunch in the courtyard nearby and heard the shot, saw the people running, and so I took off running." 

It's...it's intense. To have to field all those different emotions all my coworkers are going through.

To try and lend an understanding ear and be there for them. And support them.

Especially to my one coworker who had to run. They were literally shaking as they were telling me about it. 

Like that's trauma right there.

And it hurts that so many people were affected because of one person. Because they felt they had to act in such a horrible manner.

And I'm left trying to figure out how to help out my coworkers to try and ease their pain to help bring light back into their lives. To make it better for them so that they can get through another day. Get out of their heads. Move forward. and like...rebuild the trust. Rebuild the security.

I feel for my coworkers.

That is not an event I would want anyone to have to go through. 

Especially since they're still searching for answers. Still searching for the suspect. 

I feel like there's still going to be a sense of unease for a while. Until he's found. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Losing the Safe Feeling

 It's been one of those days that's been ... hard to kinda ... reflect? Reflect on. 

One of those days filled with a lot of Doom scrolling to try and understand why and how and for what purpose. 

There was a political influencer shot and killed at my alma mater today. 

Which I was only vaguely aware of this dude before the events of today. But from what I've seen....I would disagree with a lot of his stances. If not all of them. 

Mostly because he's aligned with the political party that I absolutely despise at the moment. Nothing good is coming from that current administration and I am doing my best to stay far far far far far away from it and anyone who has anything positive to say about what they're doing.

That being said.

I do not believe anyone should have been gunned down like that.

It's horrible. It's despicable. 

Especially because I hear his wife and kids were right there on the front row.

Like. Sure. There's a difference of opinion. 

But no one. No One. Should be a witness to that. No one should have their spouse or parent taken away like that. No one should have to go to bed tonight knowing that their loved one isn't there with them.

I've seen video. And it's awful seeing just how quickly life can be cut short. How events can go from positive 'let's talk it out and debate it' moments to screams and terror and trauma.

I feel for those people who witnessed it and the trauma all the students must be going through now. To have that safety net cut away from them. To now have that moment etched into their minds. Like how can one go back to school after such an event? Walk into that courtyard or even by that courtyard after such a thing?

And it's struck home in multiple ways.

Not just because THAT's MY SCHOOL. 

I've walked those halls. Been in that courtyard.

I was literally there a couple weekends ago with friends Pokemon hunting for fun. I was literally in that courtyard! I had sat at the top of the bowl by the fountains watching a child and their parents play along the stones nearby. 

It hits hard. 

That school has been a safe place for me for years. Like I haven't been to college in over a decade. But I still drop by on occasion. Mostly to just catch Pokemon on community events. But like. That was a safe place. And it hurts to know that violence happened there.

It's nerve wracking knowing that the shooter is still at large. 

Like I work minutes from campus. 

My job is right there.

If the shooter is local there's a huge chance I may have encountered them at some point in the past. Whether at my job or somewhere like grocery shopping. 

There's just that sense of safety that's been shaken.

Like the likelyhood of me specifically being a target is low.

The shooter clearly had a motive and one target. 

So it's unlikely that my safety is actually a concern in this particular case.

But it's worrisome. Knowing how close danger can be to you. Knowing that someone was able to do that right here in College town. 

So it's not surprising that I've been doomscrolling all day. Looking for footage of the shooter. Putting on the amateur detective hat and trying to figure out how they got on the roof from what I know of campus. Figure out where they may have gone. What routes they may have taken to get away. Wondering if they left the area or tried to blend in. If they jumped on the nearby highway or fled into the city. 

Also just find it amazing how the modern age makes it so there's a higher chance of there being footage of the shooter. Of the person being found. Like even now there's been a couple different perspective videos released from people on campus who just happened to film something suspicious or happened to have the right angle during the event to capture the person in the distance. 

There's just so much. 

So much to comprehend. 

And I'm kinda grateful that I was off today and home safe. 

Because I don't know how I would have handled it if I'd found out all this while I was at work. Where I was much closer to the shooter's location. 

Not sure how I'll handle it tomorrow when I go in to work...since the shooter is still at large.....

Hopefully they find the person soon.

Because again. No one deserves to go like that. No matter what their opinion or stance or belief is. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi 

15 Years Later

 I kinda feel bad now, looking back and seeing that I didn't do a 14 Years Later post.

I remember thinking about it. Around this time last year. 

But I was deep deep into a non writing in general streak. 

Kinda just...didn't want to at all.

Didn't have the energy. Didn't really feel like sharing my thoughts.

Which is usually a pretty big indication of how stressed out I am because writing is a great way to vent and get my thoughts and feelings out.

And not that I wasn't venting. But I was venting more through texting friends....rather than writing and putting my thoughts out there for whoever to see them.

Maybe there was a bit of 'what's the point?' going on. A bit of 'burn out.' and 'why does it matter." 

So yah. Neglected the 14th year post. 

Probably would have neglected the 15th year post this year too if I hadn't gotten finally decided enough was enough and it wasn't enough to just be thinking about getting back into blogging again or talking about getting into blogging again but to actually start actively making time to blog again and carve out time to do so. 

And it's mostly thanks to my sister that I've started blogging again.

Because she recommended an app. Called "Finch" that's basically just like a ... daily task app. Where you mark off tasks and the little Birdy avatar you have earns jewels so you can buy stuff and you can have friends where you can send little motivation stuff and such to each other.

And while the finch app comes with preset tasks like "Drink Water" or "Get out of Bed" you can also set yourself your own list of tasks like "Blog!" and how often you want to do said task. Like Blogging would be an every day thing.

But I also have this Bonsai Tree that I got from my brother -during an activity we did together- for my birthday and it needs to be watered like every 4 days. And like....I am a bit of a yellow thumb when it comes to keeping plants alive. But the Finch app lets me set a reminder for every 4 days to water the Bonsai and I'm golden!

And it was thanks to me adding in the Bonsai reminder that I finally decided to set myself a few other reminders as well despite having just humored my sister and used the app for just the general stuff for the last few months.

So I've added in other tasks like Blogging! and Latch Hooking! And Take Pictures of the Sunset!

Just...tasks that I've done pretty consistently in the past....but due to life....have kinda fallen by the wayside because I just....haven't had a bit of a block about them.

So it's actually quite satisfying to be able to write this 15 year post.

And even though the past few years I haven't been as consistent as I've been. It's still kinda amazing to see in the stats that there are still individuals checking this blog out. That there's been engagement pretty consistently throughout the years even when I haven't been as active.

And it's actually rather inspiring.

To know that there are people out there who do read these words.

Who do check in.

Maybe they're just referencing a favored older post and don't even care about the newer ones. But it's just cool that this blog still lives on, even if I have periods of inactivity. 

So Thanks.

Thanks for being around. 

And while it's been a hot minute since I've done a stats thing and blogger has changed a bit how their stats are laid out. 

It is fun to see who just all is visiting. So I'll forgo most of it, but the top countries to have visited me are: 

Singapore - 135k (43%)
United States - 62.3k (20%)
Italy - 44.8k (14%)
Hong Kong - 21.7k (7%)
Russia - 11.4k (4%)
France - 5.28k (2%) 
Germany - 3.92k (1%)
Canada - 3.13k (<1%)
Portugal - 2.4k (<1%)
Ukraine - 1.74k (<1%)
Finland - 1.29k (<1%)
United Kingdom - 898 (<1%)
China - 761 (<1%)
Poland - 729 (<1%)
India - 477 (<1%)
Turkmenistan - 416 (<1%)
South Korea - 414 (<1%)
Czechia - 395 (<1%)
Latvia - 384 (<1%)
Other 20.1k (6%)

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

And Suddenly. Blood

 It was the most random thing.

So there I was.

Helping customers at the register because we didn't have enough hours to schedule a cashier right at opening and the manager who was gonna cover the first hour ended up having a health issue that had them coming into the store late. 

So I ended up being the manager on register for the first hour.

Which wasn't the worst. Since I'd spent the three hours before that organizing and counting and checking inventory of our shelves and such. So a break of just basically standing there was rather nice. 

So I hadn't been doing anything too strenuous for a while.

Mostly was just checking the inventory of our soda fridge and restocking the shelves in it with whatever sodas we still had in stock and such. 

When I had a customer come in to pick up an order.

Which yah no big deal they do that all the time.

Except the order was cold food.

Which we usually keep in our fridges back on the aisle so you know...the cold food stays cold.

And since the store was still pretty dead since it was still first thing in the morning I quickly walked back there to grab it and head back up to the customer since there was like nobody else in the store...and if there were people in the store they were still shopping and no where near the front.

But as I was walking back to the front from my jaunt a few aisles away.

I felt liquid dribbling from my nose.

Which first thought is always. "Oh snot." 

Because you know, I've been pulling items from overstock and reorganizing and basically messing with dusty shelves for the last few hours. I figured it was just a symptom of dust up my nose and the nose trying to get rid of it or whatever.

Brush my nose against my sleeve to get rid of the annoying sensation since I was carrying the stuff back up to the customer...

And my sleeve is red when pull away.

oh.

Oh no.

Like it's happened before. Rarely. At work. Like rare enough that its really only happens once every 2-3 years where I'll suddenly end up with a bloody nose at work. 

And usually it's sometime in the summer...usually earlier in the summer when it first gets hot and the air gets dry.

But it's been a while since I've gotten a bloody nose at work.

And not usually when I'm in the middle of helping a customer.

So it was a matter of quickly tilting my head back. Hoping the blood hadn't started flowing too freely yet. Giving the bag of stuff to the customer and quickly grabbing a paper towel to shove up my nose after they leave and requesting immediate help at the register so I could step off the floor to get the nose bleed under control. 

Luckily my petcare person was able to quickly step in before any more customers came up so I could vanish into the breakroom until I could get my nose to stop bleeding.

But it was so random. 

Like there was literally not much different I'd been doing today compared to other days of work. For me it was a typical Monday work day. 

But in all honestly today has been weird with...health?

I'm blaming it on the full moon yesterday.

But like. I get a bloody nose. A different manager has an allergic reaction and has to leave early, another one has been dealing with an illness and been feeling sick since the weekend, and another manager came in saying they felt like they had food poisioning.

Like....there's currently only 5 of us managers and 4 of us had some sort of health related incident today. Who knows the 5th one may have been feeling off too and not said anything.

But like....what are the odds? It's so crazy that all that happened on the same day.

It did leave me feeling rather cautious about how I was moving around afterwards though. I didn't want to bend down or turn too quickly or whatever and trigger another nose bleed.

Luckily I didn't.

And hopefully like past times it's a one off. Because tomorrow is going to be BUSY. So I can't really afford to have to stop to take care of a bloody nose.

But I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

A Connection Gone

 It's a bit ... bittersweet to lose a connection. 

Like a connection to a plance. To a person. To a memory.

Yesterday I lost a bit of a connection to my Mother Dearest. 

In that one of my fish died.

How is a fish connected to my mom?

Well. 

She had a glofish tank before she passed. 

And one of those glofish was a blue glo rainbow shark. 

It was in with other fish as well. Tiger barbs and other glofish my Mother Dearest enjoyed as well.

And that fish survived so much.

Like Daddoo at one point ended up moving it into a tiny 1 gallon tank because it was killing all his other fish and it survived.

It survived when multiple tanks got sickness that killed most of the fish.

Including when he eventually gave the shark to me to have in my 125 gallon tank when he finally decided to stop keeping a fish tank for good. 

That fish has lived for like...at least a decade by this point.

Which is a good nice long lifespan for a fish.

Especially the glofish because with the genetic modifications to make them glo...I honestly don't quite know how similar their live spans are to normal fish of the same breed.

So the fact that this fish lived at least a decade?

Impressive.

But the last month or so I've noticed him slowing down.

Becoming less aggressive in the tank.

Less likely to chase around his favorite fish to chase around.

More likely to just sit in a cave that I got for the tank and chill.

And the sitting became more common. The swimming became less common.

So I could tell that his time was coming. 

And it's been bittersweet.

Because like my Daddoo called this fish "bad boy" for a reason and I've had to be careful in what type of fish I put in my tank with him because I'm pretty certain he would kill some of the fish he decided he didn't like. 

So like. I'm glad he's finally out of my tank so I can have a bit more freedom in what fish I do want to put tin my tank.

But also like ... this was one of the last fish my mom had before she passed.

It's a small connection to her ... that I don't have anymore. 

I'll look in the tank when I feed the fish and won't see the gloshark anymore. Won't see that little reminder of my Mother Dearest. 

And while one solution would be to 'get another shark of the same color' to kinda make it like the fish never left....

It does also feel like a chapter that has been closed. A time for a new chapter to be written.

But yah.

It's been kinda bittersweet. 

Goodbye Bad Boy. You'll be missed. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

But It's Cash

 One thing that I've learned going to like the Gem fairs and such is that it's nice to carry cash around. 

Because if you have cash, most of the stalls don't charge you a tax for what you're purchasing. 

If it says $15 you can hand them $15 in cash and be done with it.

Of course there's always those stalls that calculate the tax even if you have cash. But they're more rare. Like one or two in the entire event. 

So for the most part when I go to the Gem Fairs I try to pull out enough cash beforehand for my purchases and unless I go crazy buying rocks (which I have before) avoid using my cards to pay for things.

Today was slightly different. 

In that I actually had a Saturday off. 

And so I decided to go check out a Farmer's Market that my sibling was participating in. You know. Go support and such. 

Ended up being a much larger market than I expected...mostly because it was "Shop Days"? This weekend apparently. So there was thrice as many vendors and a bunch of other activities and programs going on at the same time.

Regardless after visiting my sibling I went to venture about and check out to see what the local vendors were selling. As I had pulled out some cash with the intent to maybe spend some today if I found anything unique. And avoid using my cards once more. 

Mostly to keep myself to a budget as the gem fair itself is coming again in a couple of weeks. Because I'd much rather spend money on my rocks lol. 

In any case.

While wandering about I found a shop that had some cool pictures. Where the artist had layered cut out pieces of paper on top of each other to create designs. And also stated that a portion of their proceeds goes to help the bees.

Which yay helping the bees!

Problem was that I had 3 pictures I wanted to get....but not enough cash to get all of them. I was about $20 short. 

But I was like "Hey, would you be willing to sell me these three frames for $$$?" because it doesn't hurt to ask and oftentimes people will give a slight discount if you're bundling multiple things together. 

Which the artist was like sure!

And I'm like "Cool! Because that's all I have in cash." 

And they were like "Really? What about the sales tax?" 

...

....

.....

???

I'm sorry. What?

Sales tax?

I'm paying in CASH.

That means it's just the flat fee! No tax!

*exhales*

Not to this seller. 

Like seriously I was like "Usually if people pay in cash they don't charge tax." 

And they were like "Well, they shouldn't be doing it that way!" 

Like literally EVERY SINGLE PLACE I BOUGHT OTHER THINGS FROM DID NOT CHARGE ME TAX when I paid WITH CASH there at the farmer's market..

Because how is the government gonna know if you charged tax or not? How are they gonna know if you sold anything or not when it comes to cash? They can't TRACK that. Not when it comes to a tiny farmer's market. Who knows what's exchanged where?

*shakes head*

But this artist insisted that I pay the sales tax. 

*exhales*

LUCKILY I had a little bit of extra change on me. 

Because it ended up being another $8 for the sales tax. *rolls eyes* 

But hey. Still ended up getting all 3 pictures for less than the original price. So I can't complain too much.

But still. 

It was slightly irksome.

I mean I have encountered it a couple of times at the gem fair while paying with cash.

But I do have to wonder if it's was a difference in .... generations? Like the artist was more my grandparent aged. So it may be just a boomer mentality.

I didn't buy from any other shops with older people so I don't have other data to compare it to.

But yah.

Was rather random that the artist insisted on the tax.

But you do you artist.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Finding Confidence

 I suppose no one really enjoys being perceived when it comes to ... being evaluated. Judged. Critiqued. 

But like. I do kinda enjoy just doing my own thing without having to think about how well I'm doing my thing you know?

Especially when I'm already on edge because I know there's the general expectation that I'm going to be the one that's hopefully replacing our manager that just left and stepping up into their position. Which means i'm more aware of all my shortcomings and potential flaws....

Because the brain just loves to focus on the negative and it's much harder to focus on the positives. 

Which I really do have a lot of positives going for me. 

As I had my annual work review today.

Because my 13th work anniversary is tomorrow. 

Which O.o

Huh.

It's so crazy that I've been with Starsmet for 13 years now. 

Like I knew my anniversary was approaching.

But it catches me by surprise every time lol. 

Caught my Head Manager by surprise too.

Because the manager who just left was the one who was supposed to have given my review as they were the one over me.

But because they're gone that left it up to Head Manager to do so.

Which ... I'm kinda grateful for?

I mean PL seemed to say mostly positive things about me on their last day of work and stated that they thought I was the one they thought was the best to replace them when they left.

But it does leave me wondering how they would have rated me if they had given me my review as opposed to my head manager.

Because head manager rated me very well. I got "above" in basically all categories.

And HM had basically all positives to say.

That I'm great at helping customers and coworkers. That I'm the go to person because I know a lot. That I've been quick to catch on and learn my new responsibilities and ask great questions and that the Head Manager is looking forward to seeing how I progress. 

Overall it was basically a "Great job. Keep up the good work! No notes." sort of review.

Though of course there's always room for improvement. And it seemed like head manager was grasping at straws to find something for me to 'work' on that I could do to continue to improve.

And it basically boiled down to like Having more Confidence in myself. 

Which granted. I'm pretty confident in the store. Kinda have to be after 13 years of being there lol.

BUT.

I am always a bit more shy and cautious when it comes to new things. 

And getting thrown into a new position where I have to go from being like an equal to the PL to under the PL meant that I was floundering a bit. 

Because like I'm trying to figure out how the currents are going. Who's in charge. Who answers to who in what situations. Where are we equals and where are we not?

Plus like I'm learning a whole new aspect of the store. Because while I've helped out with stocking tasks. It's been a here and there sort of thing. Where I've learned tidbits over the years but I don't know like the inner workings of like the behind the scenes stuff. I've been more focused on Petcare and then with my first management position with the cashiering aspect as well.

So yah. Stocking side? Still a bit of a learning curve. So I have been a bit less "go get them" than I was before the job change. Because like....still feeling out what I am and am not responsible for. 

Because like. If I'm getting paid less. I'm not going to be doing other people's jobs when they're getting paid more than me. They can do their jobs and earn their money there. 

So I've taken a step back in some areas. Been a bit more "Hey question. Hey is this okay? Hey? Hey? Hey" 

And Head Manager was like "I just want you to get creative. Problem solve a bit more on your own. Take time to look through the apps and the computer stuff and find the answers." 

Which they brought up a good point. We're all new to these positions we're currently holding. None of us have had them before. We're all the first to hold these positions so we're all learning on the job.

So yah. I should be a bit proactive in figuring out things on my own.

But at the same time .... I am really really really tired of feeling like I'm the only one in the store with the brain cell.

Because 9 times out of 10 if there's a problem in Petcare I'm the one who comes up with the solution. 

And probably 7 out of 10 times if there's a problem at the registers. I'm the one who comes up with the solution.

So I didn't really want to be the one who has to 'come up with the solution' with all things Stocking too.

Even though if I'm hoping to jump up into the PL position that's exactly what I'll need to do. Be the 'go to solution finder' when it comes to all things stocking. *exhales* 

But yah.

Basically the main focus point of the review for me to work on was "Confidence. Learn things." 

So I'll have to see if I can fit finagling around and looking up things in amongst all the other things I'm trying to do at work.

Irregardless.

At least I did really well at my review!

With all the doubts that have bee plaguing my mind as the PLs departure approached it's nice to just hear some positive feedback that yes I'm doing well and yes I would be a good fit to jump up into the position.

Now...if only I could get the hiring website to work for me so I could actually get my application in. *exhales*

Gotta love unforseen complications. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Treasure Above?

 Have you ever wondered what history may be hidden around you?

Like. 

There's always the 'found treasure in the attic' or the 'basement' or in the 'old shed' or the 'cellar' sort of mythos that may be in the back of the mind.

Especially when exploring older houses like your grandparents home.

But there's other areas where you just....don't consider what sort of treasure or history may be hidden behind the walls, under the floor, or in the ceiling of an older building.

And like....I don't consider my work building to be that old.

Even though the building is probably just as old or older than I am.

Like I had a coworker who'd been there nearly two decades before I started working there.

So like ... it's been around for a hot minute.

Long enough that I've already had to field calls in the recent past from the Home Office that basically boil down to "Hey, we don't know what this actually looks like. Can you send us pictures of it." 

Like they had some dude come in and do like a .... radar? Lidar? idk some sort of laser test that maps out the dimensions of the entire building so they can figure out how much footage the entire building has but also like how big the rooms within the building is. 

They also had me take pictures of our fish wall .... because the home office couldn't find the actual plano for the fish wall we have in their system and they wanted a visual of it. 

Today .... some dude from higher up the chain and that is probably in the home office was like "Heeeey. We can't find the building plans of your building. So we don't actually know what it looks like." 

Which ... .... HOW do you not know what your building looks like? I mean you've been sending us MAPs of the building with the AISLES and such on it so that we can set product and rearrange things every month. HOW do you not know what it looks like?! 

PLUS you had that one dude come in and MEASURE the entire store! HOW do you not know what it looks like?!

It's just one of those 'lost to time' things apparently where they knew at some point but the knowledge was lost at some point.

Regardless. They were like "Heeey, we don't have building plans here at the home office, BUT you may have the original plans THERE!"

Like. 

What?

Supposedly the original plans were placed in a PVC pipe and then stored in the ceiling above one of the rooms and if we lifted up the ceiling tile we may be able to find said pipe.

Which. Cool concept. 

IF ITS STILL THERE.

But at the same time WHY WOULD IT STILL BE THERE?

Like was that a trend of the time it was built in? That you store the master plans of the building IN the ceiling of the building itself?

Why not place it in like .... idk CITY HALL or like wherever building records are stored in the town? That's city hall right? Right? Who knows. 

But like shouldn't there be copies elsewhere? 

And WHY the ceiling?

Upon hearing this news I immediately doubted that the pipe thingy would still be up in the ceiling.

Because a few years a go we had some sort of ceiling work that got done....I can't remember if it was ceiling tiles being replaced or something above the ceiling tiles in the previous offices. But like.... things were messed around with up there.

Plus it's been DECADES. 

It could have vanished ANYTIME in that time frame if someone didn't know what it was and went "Oh. Old pipe. Toss it." when they were doing some sort of cleaning or maintenance or something. 

It's just mind boggling. 

Like my head Manager did attempt to look for said mystery pipe in a couple of spots in our ceilings.

Didn't find it.

But like we don't actually know which "office" it could be. "It's above the main office!" 

Well cool....but like is the office we're using as the main office the office THEY were using as the main office when the building was built? Who knows! 

Still. It's weird to think....that potentially it could be up there in the ceiling somewhere. These mysterious building plans. That literally no one would ever think to look for in the ceiling..... 

Except this one dude in the whole office who says they might be there.

So weird.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Change is a Coming

 There's a sort of exhaustion that hits where literally the only thing you can do is go to bed. Because like....there's not really any higher brain power going on. There's no energy to think. No energy to type. No energy to read. Barely any energy to watch something.

And it always catches me off guard when I get those 'super exhausted' days. 

Especially when they happen on days where I got enough sleep.

Like you kinda expect the super exhausted crash out after getting like 2-4 hours of sleep the night before.

But the nights where you get a full night's rest?

It's really weird to feel the deep exhaustion set in at like 7pm and the want to just crash in bed fighting with the night owl tendency to stay up late. 

I suppose the crash out yesterday wasn't fully unexpected. 

As it was our Truck Day.

And working product, lifting heavy bags, moving things around the store for hours on end ... it's tiring. It's exhausting.

So I'm always a little more tired Tuesday nights, but even then....last night felt a bit more extreme. 

And I'm sure there were a ton of contributing factors that just...weighed in on the exhaustion levels.

The first being me working a slightly longer shift. 

Like half an hour extra at work shouldn't have made that much of a difference, especially because we had truck basically done half an hour before I was off so I wasn't really doing much in the last half hour. 

But I also think the mental and emotional stressors were a bit higher yesterday as well.

Why?

Because it was one of my other manager's 'last day' at work. 

So I think there was a lot of back burner stress in my mind because like "Do I know everything they know so we can function without them? Am I missing anything? Will I be a good replacement if I get promoted for that position? Have I learned what I need to learn? What happens if I can't find the thing?" And of course all the background "They're never gonna do this and never gonna do that." and "I won't be able to ask them this or that or this or that."

Though they did tell me if I needed help that I could still contact them with questions. Which is sweet though I'm gonna try to not do that. 

Kinda not a great look to ask the person who left the job about the job lol. But at the same time they've kinda been a savant in their position so they literally know 'everything' that it's hard to 'teach' everything. 

It's also hard because it's unknown if this is a permanent goodbye or not. 

As the manager is stepping down as a manager to go back to school. But may come back to be like a part time worker if the school work load isn't too crazy for them.

But we won't know that answer for sure for a couple of weeks. So who knows.

Still. 

Gonna be weird having them gone as they've been in the store nearly as long as I have. 

In any case. There is all that background emotional stress going on while also trying to get the truck worked as quickly as possible because yesterday was the last day for this manager who usually helps to finish the truck today with what we don't get done the day before but wouldn't because yesterday was their last day....

But there's also other stressors that I shouldn't be stressing about but am stressing about because that's who I am as a person apparently.

Like money is always an issue and with me taking the new management position with the stupid management restructuring that corporate did, I also took a slight pay cut as well. Which while not the end of the world...has also left me not liking the state of how my finances are either.

It doesn't help that corporate is being stupidly tight fisted with hours and making it difficult for us to be scheduled a full 40 hours a week because we DON'T HAVE THE HOURS to do that. 

Not when we've been cut at least 80 hours each week compared to the same week last year.

It's nearly impossible.

But HM said that our DM said in their weekly meeting that all managers should be scheduled at a full 40 each week. Which would be great! Because more money! 

But is BAD because corporate isn't GIVING US THE HOURS to schedule the managers full time. NOT without TAKING AWAY those hours from associates. Like in order to get all the managers up to a full 40 hours each week we'd have to take away just under 30 hours a week from the associates. 

Which they're already working shorter shifts and less days as it is. 

If we cut them any further it wouldn't surprise me if they'll start looking for other jobs.

Because it's rather hard to survive if your job is only sceduling 3ish shifts a week and those shifts are like maybe 6 hours. 

People can't live off of that.  And if people can't live off of that they're gonna start looking for work elsewhere. 

Which is stressful. Like even if the managers get up to a full 40 hours that doesn't mean we'll be able to have more time to do our Manager tasks. No. Those hours will be spent doing the tasks that the Cashiers and the Petcare people should be doing but aren't because we don't have enough hours anymore to schedule them the full day. 

It's stressful.

Because it feels like corporate is doing their best to take us down to pandemic staffing again and THAT SUCKED.

Like I don't remember what amount of cashiers we had. But it literally was the six managers, me and one petcare person. And maybe one or two cashiers. Like we had NO ONE. If ONE person got sick we were basically SCREWED because we didn't have anyone else to bring in. 

It sucked. Big time. 

Like cutting 3/4s of your staff is a stupid and horrible thing to do especially in the middle of a pandemic. And I don't like that the trend with hours seems to be forcing us to go in that direction again. Because it. is. not. fun.

It's just more stress. And more upset customers because there's no people to help them. 

*exhales*

So yah.

No wonder I got home from work and basically just wanted to pass out.

It was an exhausting day on multiple levels. 

But the one bright side of the day is that the manager who's left told me that out of everyone in these tore, if we were hiring internally to replace them, that I would be the best person to replace them.

Which is high praise from them. ^^;;

They later went on to say that I caught on quick in the last couple of months learning how to do all the stocking tasks and that I've been doing really well with all my tasks.

Which again is amazing.

Because until that point I had no idea if they thought I was good replacement material or not.

I mean I hoped I would be. 

I went into my current position with the expectation that I would be learning how to do this manager's job so that I could take over for them when and if they decided to step down. As I wasn't as familiar with the stocking aspects of the store so a few months to learn the ropes would be helpful and help me ease into what I need to know for the position.

So to hear that the manager thought I would do well as a replacement was one less stress on my shoulders at least. Now to just pass through the interviewing process when we hold that and hope that I get the position. *fingers crossed* 

But yah.

It was an exhausting day. 

Exhausting enough that it triggered a migraine towards the end of my shift that trying to go to bed early did not help......but at least the Nurtec made it go away so yay!

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi