Serving Past the Pain

I share the following story with permission from Amy Wright, who came to understand the principle of serving even amid a terrifying and life-threatening illness.
Amy wrote:

"On October 29, 2015, I found out I had cancer.
My cancer has a 17 percent survival rate.
The odds weren't good.
I knew that I would be in for the fight of my life.
I was determined to give it everything I had not just for myself but, more important, for my family.
In December, I began chemo.
I was familiar with many of the side effects of cancer-fighting drugs, but I id not know that it was possible for someone to be so sick and still be alive.

"At one point, I declared chemotherapy a human rights violation.
I told my husband that I was done.
I quit!
I was not going back to the hospital.
In his wisdom, my sweetheart patiently listened and then responded, 'Well, then we need to find someone to serve."

What?
Did he miss the fact that his wife had cancer and couldn't take one more bout of nausea or one more moment of excruciating pain?

Amy goes on to explain: "My symptoms gradually worsened to where I generally had one or two 'OK' days a month [when] I could somewhat function as a living, breathing human being.
It was those days when our family would find ways to serve."

On one of those days, Amy's family distributed chemo comfort kits to other patients, kits filled with items to cheer and to help relieve symptoms.
When Amy couldn't sleep, she would think of ways to brighten someone else's day.
Some ways were big, but many were just small notes or text messages of encouragement and love.
On those nights when her pain was too great to sleep, she would lie in bed with her iPad and search for ordinances that needed to be completed on behalf of her deceased ancestors.
Miraculously the pain would subside, and she was able to endure.

"Service," Amy testifies, "saved my life.
Where I ultimately found my strength to keep moving forward was the happiness I discovered in trying to relieve the suffering of those around me.
I looked forward to our service projects with great joy and anticipation.
Still to this day it seems like such a strange paradox.
You would think that someone who was bald, poisoned, and fighting for [her] life was justified in thinking that 'right now it is all about me.'
However, when I thought about myself, my situation, my suffering and pain, the world became very dark and depressing.
When my focus turned to others, there was light, hope, strength, courage, and joy.
I know that this is possible because of the sustaining, healing, and enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ."

Amy came to trust in the Lord as she came to know Him.
If she had leaned even a little to her own understanding, she might have rejected the idea that she serve.
Service enabled her to withstand her pain and afflictions and to live this scripture: "When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."

-Bonnie H. Cordon -Trust in the Lord and Lean Not -April 2017 General Conference

Until you next read these words;

I'll be watching the leaves.

Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

A Surprise Visit

The thing about having a tank that's 125 gallons --aka 6 feet long-- with a ton of hiding places with many many decorations all over the place....

Is that fish tend to disappear.

There are fish that just one day vanish....and you never see them, never find a body....

While there are other fish that just....don't come out....to the point where you think they have died. 

In this category are specifically the catfish and loaches I have. 
Honestly...I can't tell you how many bumblebee catfish, nor kuhli loaches I have.
At one point I had like 5 and 3. 
Do I still have 5 and 3 of them?
No idea.
If anything I would think I had 1 and 1.
Because if I do see either one...
It's only one at a time.

lol I mean, I could know for sure if I took out every single decoration from my fish tank and then looked...but that's sooo much work....lol. 
--Though I have been tempted to do so more than once in recent weeks. Redecorate and such. 

However. 
I got a surprise today.

So back in July.
My manager gave me three fish before he went and moved to Washington. 

Those three fish were two clown loaches and one angelfish.

The angelfish? Totally easy to see. I know where he is basically at all times.

But the clown loaches?
They're just like the other loaches and catfish.
They hide.

And considering these loaches were like 6 inches long and two inches tall at least....
It was amazing how thoroughly they could disappear.
I'm pretty sure they hide out in an octopus decoration or in one of the ships...

But after like maybe under a month?
I never would see them.
Before that I would see one or two of these clown loaches whenever I turned on the lights and fed the fish.

Yet after a while...I never saw them.
So I kinda assumed that they hadn't taken the transition to my tank very well....
And therefore had died and their bodies had been claimed by the tank, never to be seen by my eyes.

Until today.
MONTHS later.
When I turned on the lights to feed the fish.
And one of the Clown Loaches swam out of the ship to Greet me!!!!


WHAT?!?!??!?!?
ITS ALIVE?!?!?!
WWWWHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTT?!?!!??!!?

And just as quickly as I saw this clown loach.
He vanished again, to who knows where in my tank.

....I probably won't see him again until March or so now lol.

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

A Compliment

I was in the middle of finishing a task involving cleaning our hamster cages. Where I was putting back their food and water, wheels and houses. When I had a customer approach me, needing help.

Which usually isn't an issue.
But became a slight problem when she stated empathetically that she didn't speak much English.

Unfortunately...I don't speak much Spanish...and our Spanish speaking people had all just barely left. *exhales* 

Still I gamely tried to figure out what she was saying in her smattering of English and a lot of Spanish.

Which thankfully, I can still recognize a lot of Spanish words so that even though I can't really speak the language.
I could get that she was looking for a specific brand of Dog food for her dog.

It also helped, because she had a Vet Prescription card in her hand. Which meant that she was looking for a specific dog food in our prescription section of the store.
Easy to find.

Only...lol it was kinda difficult to get the point across to her that we needed to go to the front of the store, when she knew that the back of the store held the brand of food she was looking for. 
(As the prescription foods have normal brands that you don't need a special card for.) 

And that confusion was because she had been feeding her dog wet food. -Which she knew you could find at the front of the store because that was prescription too. 
But now the Vet wanted her to switch to dry food.

However, whenever I tried to point out that both types of prescription food were actually in front of the store....
She thought I was misunderstanding her.

And so empathetically took me to the back of the store where her husband was waiting. 
To show me the brand of food, and then point to the prescription card to show that she couldn't find the particular type she needed. 

And all the while I was trying to think of any Spanish words I knew that could convey the point across that the food she wanted was in the front of the store.
I couldn't.
I ended up sticking to English.
But I did manage to convince her that the food she needed was at the front.
And upon reaching the prescription food, I directed her to the hard dog food below the canned food she'd been getting before.

And it was rather...interesting.
Because she got all complimentary. 
She was like "Ah!! You're muy intelligente!! muy bonita! Good job. Using your head! Gracias! Ah. You're muy intelligente!" 

Like...her expression of gratitude and compliments were totally unexpected lol.
I was just showing her where her dog food was.

But I think that she appreciated that I was able to figure out what she wanted from what Spanish/English she was using and show her what she was searching for.
I think she was happy that I took the time to try and understand what she was getting out and that I was willing to help.

However.
It made my own day as well.
^^;; I love getting compliments. It totally brightens my day.

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi 

April 2017 General Conference -General Women's Session

Bonnie H. Cordon -Trust in the Lord and Lean Not

• Trust in the Lord.
• Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
• When we physically lean toward one side or another, we move off center, we are out of balance, and we tip. When we spiritually lean to our own understanding, we lean away from our Savior. If we lean, we are not centered; we are not balanced; we are not focused on Christ. 
• Scriptures enlighten our minds, nourish our spirits, answer our questions, increase our trust in the Lord, and help us center our lives on Him.
• Remember to search them diligently, that ye may profit thereby.
• Heavenly Father is ready to give if we will but ask in faith.
• When my focus turned to others, there was light, hope, strength, courage, and joy. When I thought about myself, my situation, my suffering and pain, the world became very dark and depressing.

Carol F. McConkie -The Beauty of Holiness

• Holiness is in the striving and the struggle to keep the commandments and to honor the covenants we have made with God.
• Holiness is making the choices that will keep the Holy Ghost as our guide.
• Our Father in Heaven knows us. He loves us, and He has provided for us all that is required so that we can become holy as He is holy.
• Most often it is the sacrifices we make to keep our covenants that sanctify us and make us holy.

Linda K. Burton -Certain Women

• Do you not want the highest glory? How do you think to gain it save by making the greatest sacrifices? 

Henry B. Eyring -"My Peace I Leave with You"

• If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all [who] humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
• Those who do not see their weaknesses do not progress. Your awareness of your weakness is a blessing as it helps you remain humble. 
• The Spirit not only comforts you, but He is also the agent by which the Atonement works a change I your very nature.
• You will at times have your faith challenged by Satan; it happens to all disciples of Jesus Christ. Your defense against these attacks is to keep the Holy Ghost as your companion. The Spirit will speak peace to your soul. He will urge you forward in faith. And He will bring back the memory of those times when you felt the light and the love of Jesus Christ.
• Your power to do good as a group of God's daughters will depend, to a great degree, on the unity and love that exist among you.

Until you next see these words;

I'll be watching the leaves.

Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Stay.

Do you ever wonder if things happen to you in order to help someone else?

Like this morning I woke up with a killer headache.

The annoying kind...

Because well...what did I ever do to deserve waking up to a headache?

(Going to have fun at a concert apparently isn't allowed or something.) 

But what if I got the headache for a different reason?

You see, one of my roommate's has been having trouble....in the things breaking down sort of nature.

Her car's been acting up.

Our garage door randomly broke...trapping her car inside the garage. (temporarily, funnily enough you can manually lift a garage door like some primitive savage or something. ;) ) 

Which meant that in the name of easy access....I would be the one to drive today to go to church....

Only I woke up with a major headache.

A headache, where I woke up and basically went. "I want to go back to bed."

But because I was parked behind my roomie who was trapped in the garage....it would mean I would be her ride.....so I was like...well I probably should check and decide if roomie was wanting to go to church because if she is wanting to then I could get ready and drive to church and possibly survive sacrament meeting, but I definitely would not be able to stay the rest of the time....

And my roomie, upon hearing that I had a headache, and that I would be the ride...

Was like. "Yah...seems like the signs are pointing to me needing to stay home today." 

Which was good enough for me.

Because I felt awful and all I wanted was sleep lol. 

But still....

I wonder.

Like....did I get the headache, that convinced us both to stay home from church today, in order to protect us from encountering something bad if we had gone out?

*shrugs*

Who knows....seriously. Nothing could have happened. Or something could have happened. But we won't know because we didn't go and do. 

Interesting how things happen like that....

Until you next read these words;

I'll be watching the leaves.

Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Hi From The Shadows

It's interesting to see people's kneejerk reactions. 
Especially my own.
Really. I'm just...intrigued on how I react to situations when I'm put on the spot.

So tonight.
I went to a BYU Vocal Point concert.
Because they're one of my favorite things to go to. As I always feel much happier and uplifted after listening to them sing.

And recently, after the concerts, I've made an effort to hang around, and actually go meet the guys and say Hi.

Which is kinda a big deal.
As I am not a people person unless I'm at work. lol. 
But in situations with a bunch of strangers where I'm not in my work uniform? 
Oh yah, I'm totally a wallflower.
I hang back.
Watching.
Waiting.
Being quiet.

I pick a wall and just kinda people watch for a bit as I scroll through my phone.

Because despite what my Head Manager thinks, I am rather shy. 
It takes a lot of effort outside of the work environment for me to gather the courage to go talk to someone, especially if I don't know them.

It's even more effort if that talking to someone is a person I admire. Or a group I admire.
As I really don't want to come off as a crazy fangirl. 
And fans go and meet people they admire.
And I didn't want to be 'one of the fans.' lol. I just wanted to be seen as me, someone who admires the other person's gifts...but isn't obsessed with them and such.

Of course the drawback to that attitude...is that you don't really meet people when you stick to the walls and don't put yourself forward.

So, after encouragement from some online friends I met in person.
I began to make the effort to stand in line.
Chat with the guys. 

And it's...fun. Really. It's fun to do so. :) 

lol as my knee-jerk reaction when talking to strangers is to be happy. Energetic. Smile. So I firmly shake the guy's hands, offer a smile, answer their questions, give my own compliments, and yah it's a ton of fun and I really like that I have a moment to chat with people I admire and manage to not come off as completely crazy lol. 

Of course.
That doesn't mean that my knee-jerk reaction of "Don't draw attention to yourself?!" doesn't kick right back in when I'm put on the spot.
Like when one of the guys was like "Sarnic, You want to take a picture too?" When I was standing nearby other people getting their pictures taken, and my instinctual reaction was to smile and shake y head in a No.

Like, honestly, I should have just stepped forward and got my picture taken.
But I didn't.
Because that's my typical reaction. To be shy and hold back.

It's one of those things I'm working on.
Trying to not be shy.
Trying to be a little more out going outside of work situations.
It's a process.
And there are always some setbacks. -Like I said, caught by surprise and I totally go all shy again. lol.

But with each positive experience, I am more than likely to continue to try again...and hopefully become more outgoing elsewhere when social situations demand it.

Guess we'll see. :)

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi 

What's the Cost?

I had a customer come into the store today, and ask me if I carried any Cory catfish besides our Peppered Cory's. 

So I showed her the other varieties besides the Peppered. The Greens, Albinos, Julies, and Sterbai's. 

She looked around. 

Asked the prices of the fish (though they're listed right below the tanks I pointed out. *rolls eyes*)

And then asked me "How many Green Cory's do you have?" 

-Because they were the only ones on sale for $2 each.

To which...she had eyes...she could probably count the cory's faster in the tank if she tried...so I did a quick look and was like "Six." 

And she was like. "I'll take them all." 

To which I did a closer look and was like. "There are more than six greens there." 

And she firmly stated. "I want them all." 

....Okay then.

>.< I honestly don't like customers who 'take the lot' because...what if other people wanted those fish as well? Why be greedy and take everyone? Why not leave some for other people? Because once you take all of a certain fish...I won't get any more until next Fish Shipment...meaning other customers would have to wait a week to get their own fish....*exhales*

Still. 

I set to catching all Ten Green Cory's for her. 

And while I was catching those fish.

The customer decided that she also wanted Three of the Albino catfish

And then caught sight of some of our white clouds that had just come in...and decided that she needed five of those as well.

Which I caught them all.

And asked her. "Is there anything else?" 

Like...did you need any other fish.

And she responded with: "Nah, I'm good, I only have twenty dollars on me, so I can't buy more fish." 

lol.

And I had that "freeze frame, record scratch moment." 

Of...You only have Twenty Dollars?

Because well...the Green Cory catfish were $2 each. And she'd had me catch all of them...

And all of them was ten.

And Ten times two definitely equals Twenty.

So I was like "This is more than $20 of fish...the ten catfish alone are twenty dollars..." 

And she was like ()_() WHAT?!?!

lol. So after a little bit of thought she told me to put back half of the catfish.

So I did. Which left her with five green cory's. Which would be about $10 for her. 

But she still had the three albinos....and those were $4 each. Which total would be $12....

Meaning that even before adding in the white clouds...she was already over the $20 limit again.

So in a smaller less confident voice, and after some apologies, she asked if I could put back two of the albinos. Leaving her with one. 

Which I totally have no problem putting fish back...it's a lot easier to fish the fish out of our small catch containers than in a big tank...so putting fish back. Not an issue for me.

And since the fish weren't that difficult to catch...I wasn't as miffed as I could have been, as it didn't take that long for me to catch the fish in the first place. 

In any case. She was left with 5 Greens and 1 Albino. Which would be $14.

Which now brought us to the white clouds...which were about $2 each. 

Having five meant...yep. She was again over twenty dollars as the 5 clouds would cost her just under $10 to get. 

So she had me put back two.

Which took her down $4...

And that basically left her at $20....

But then we had to account for tax.

And I have no idea how much tax she would have been charged.

So to be on the safe side...

We put back one more white cloud.

Which in the end left her with 5 greens, 1 albino, and 2 white clouds.

I bagged them up, and she went to the register to pay for them....

I'm guessing the total stayed under $20 or she had had more than that for the fish...because she didn't return to put back any more fish after that point. 

lol I totally get that 'gone fish crazy' thing go.

Where you want all the fish and you don't realize how much it's going to cost until you actually stop and add up all the numbers. 

*shakes head* 

I get that issue all the time lol. I buy fish too often for my own good. ^^;;; 

Until you next read these words;

I'll be watching the leaves.

Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi