Hi From The Shadows

It's interesting to see people's kneejerk reactions. 
Especially my own.
Really. I'm just...intrigued on how I react to situations when I'm put on the spot.

So tonight.
I went to a BYU Vocal Point concert.
Because they're one of my favorite things to go to. As I always feel much happier and uplifted after listening to them sing.

And recently, after the concerts, I've made an effort to hang around, and actually go meet the guys and say Hi.

Which is kinda a big deal.
As I am not a people person unless I'm at work. lol. 
But in situations with a bunch of strangers where I'm not in my work uniform? 
Oh yah, I'm totally a wallflower.
I hang back.
Watching.
Waiting.
Being quiet.

I pick a wall and just kinda people watch for a bit as I scroll through my phone.

Because despite what my Head Manager thinks, I am rather shy. 
It takes a lot of effort outside of the work environment for me to gather the courage to go talk to someone, especially if I don't know them.

It's even more effort if that talking to someone is a person I admire. Or a group I admire.
As I really don't want to come off as a crazy fangirl. 
And fans go and meet people they admire.
And I didn't want to be 'one of the fans.' lol. I just wanted to be seen as me, someone who admires the other person's gifts...but isn't obsessed with them and such.

Of course the drawback to that attitude...is that you don't really meet people when you stick to the walls and don't put yourself forward.

So, after encouragement from some online friends I met in person.
I began to make the effort to stand in line.
Chat with the guys. 

And it's...fun. Really. It's fun to do so. :) 

lol as my knee-jerk reaction when talking to strangers is to be happy. Energetic. Smile. So I firmly shake the guy's hands, offer a smile, answer their questions, give my own compliments, and yah it's a ton of fun and I really like that I have a moment to chat with people I admire and manage to not come off as completely crazy lol. 

Of course.
That doesn't mean that my knee-jerk reaction of "Don't draw attention to yourself?!" doesn't kick right back in when I'm put on the spot.
Like when one of the guys was like "Sarnic, You want to take a picture too?" When I was standing nearby other people getting their pictures taken, and my instinctual reaction was to smile and shake y head in a No.

Like, honestly, I should have just stepped forward and got my picture taken.
But I didn't.
Because that's my typical reaction. To be shy and hold back.

It's one of those things I'm working on.
Trying to not be shy.
Trying to be a little more out going outside of work situations.
It's a process.
And there are always some setbacks. -Like I said, caught by surprise and I totally go all shy again. lol.

But with each positive experience, I am more than likely to continue to try again...and hopefully become more outgoing elsewhere when social situations demand it.

Guess we'll see. :)

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi