Helping Others

I'm probably one of those people.
Who puts themselves last.

When it comes to satisfying my own needs. 
Not all the time.
But really.
Being empathetic as I am, and loyal, and stubborn.
When I sense a need.
I will try and do what I can to meet that need.
Even when it comes at my own expense. 

The major case and point in this would be my stubborn refusal to call in sick to work lol.
I could have been up all night, not sleeping due to a major headache.
Still be suffering from said major headache to the point where I feel shaky standing up.
And I will still go to work.
And well...work. 
When honestly...I probably should have just called in. 
*shakes head*

I had that thought more than once earlier today.
When I ended up getting a headache just before my shift.
(Which...why in the world did I get one in the first place?! I still don't know) 
And said headache went nuclear.
Where meds weren't helping it at all.

But did I try to go home early?
Ha.
No.
I just would time my breaks so that when the pain got a bit worse, I would ask to take my break and go rest for 15 minutes or so with a heatpack over my eyes to try and relax them.

Which...usually works.
Only this time around,
I had coworkers in the breakrooms with me.
And they were in need of advice and help and conversation.
And so instead of ignoring them...I chatted with them.
Sacrificing my need of some peace and quiet to help them out.

Same thing happened when I finally made it home tonight lol.
There was a need, and despite me just wanting to collapse in bed and close my eyes and forget the world,
I went instead and met the need. Helped. 

*shakes head*
Really....
Why do I do this to me?

I'm just so stubborn.
Difficult to work with apparently.
Or because I've been dealing with headaches a lot...
I figure it's 'not that bad' because I've handled them before. 
*exhales* 

I'm weird.
Definitely weird. 

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi