Tug of War

I suppose one of the main struggles I have on a near consistent basis....is balancing my wants with other people's needs.

Like. I constantly just want to work on my writing projects. Which is usually best done when I'm home without having to interact with people.

But I also...want to help others or you know...socialize with people.
And it's difficult to not...stress out in either case.
Because if I'm writing I'm fretting about not being social and talking to people.
But if I'm being social and talking to people, I'm fretting about not writing.

Especially when I have personal goals in mind.
Like trying to get chapters finished by certain dates....
That issues come to a head.

As often times when I'm trying to get something done by a certain day.
That's when the days before or the day of end up busy with social events.
Whether it's seeing friends/family, helping out with tasks at hand, doing social events.....(or I get bad migraines as an after effect of the social event)
Something happens and I end up being unable to do the writing I was hoping to accomplish.

And like...I know myself by now that most goals I set are arbitrary as 9/10 times I don't accomplish them anyways.

But it always galls that things happen, whether by my own doing or by social events....
That prevents me from finishing/accomplishing said goal. 

Which I suppose is an underlying factor in the constant tension/stress that I feel that I'm under.
Because while I want to write....
I often feel like I can't until I've helped everyone else and 'done my duty'

*exhales*
It's frustrating.
One of these days I'll get my act together and write faster.
But it probably wont' be today. *shakes head* 

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi