Still Being Stubborn

I've often stated that I'm too responsible for my own good. 

It's often the case when it involves work.
I'm stubborn about being where I've promised to be.
And if I'm scheduled to show up for a work shift, then by golly I'm going to show up for a work shift. 

*exhales*

So Wednesday night/Thursday Morning.
I ended up with a nuclear headache.

One of those painful ones where it wakes you up in the middle of the night, feeling like your skull is being pounded by a hot iron, your shoulders tense, unable to get a full breath, your stomach churning. It's a horrible feeling.

And something I definitely didn't need to be dealing with right before work.
Why?

Because yesterday (Thursday) was the day scheduled for us to have our District Manager come into the store to do a basic 'check in' to make sure we were looking good and the like. 

And I've known about this visit for like a week now.
And the managers were expecting me to get certain tasks done that morning before she came in to make sure that my department looked spic and span and would pass the visit. 

But Thursday morning....
I felt awful.
More awful than I usually feel when dealing with a nuclear headache.
And I think it's because I was feeling drained in general already from having to be social in situations I'd rather not be social in. And that was a stress for me. A strain....
And I think it just got to me Wednesday night. 

In any case.
I was feeling shaky, weak, unable to eat anything due to my churning stomach, lacking sleep, and of course...dealing with a still aching head. *exhales*

In all Honesty....I should have just called into work and been like "I'm sick, I can't come in." 

And that's when Responsible me kicked in.
Because I couldn't call in.
Not on the day of the DM visit! Not when there were things I needed to be doing because I hadn't told anyone else to do them.
...Okay admittedly I did think about calling a coworker to ask if they could cover for me...but it was in the early AM in the morning. Before the sun was even up. And I didn't want to wake her up. 
Nor did I want to leave work scrambling for someone to cover my shift.

And since I had no idea who was coming in with me this morning, nor WHEN they'd be coming in....
It could mean that we'd have even less time to get open if I didn't show up like I usually do. 

So.
Feeling shaky, weaky, ill....I got up and got ready for work.
Halfway hoping that I would be able to feel better once I got in.
Because after dealing with a nuclear headache...going to work and cleaning -exercising my muscles- can often help with the tension I'm feeling and make the headache go away.

And the headache did go away.
But my ability to function...didn't really improve.

lol to say how 'out of it' I was....

I forgot to clock into my shift.
Which...I can't remember the last time I forgot to clock in....if I ever have.
But yesterday. I forgot.
Because I was so focused on checking to see who would be coming in when and making a game plan.

Because standing up right...I already had decided that if I was able to...I would leave early.

I mean...I've often wanted to leave my work shifts early after dealing with a nuclear headache. But usually the schedule works against me where I couldn't feel comfortable leaving because there would be no coverage in my department.

-Like I said....too responsible for my own good. 

Today though. There was coverage.
A coworker coming in at the same time as me, and staying nearly as long. While another person in my department would be coming in before my coworker would be off. 

So even though the DM was coming in...my department would at least have coverage. Yay!

Which meant that I could now have a game plan in store.
In mostly that I would stay long enough to ensure my department was up and running and all the morning tasks were done. And then ask to leave.

Things worked in my favor where the head manager quickly found out that I wasn't doing good at all. 
Truthfully they were like "Just go home."

But stubborn responsible me was like "No. I'm going to get the department opened first."

Can I tell you it was difficult?
It was difficult.

I felt like half of my focus was on staying standing and not collapsing. 

Yes...I should have just called it quits. lol.

But I persisted. 

I did all the things that I promised would be done. 
Got the department open and such. :) yay!

I really should have just gone home then. I was mostly dead on my feet. 

The manager certainly thought so. When I finally approached him he was like "So you staying or do you need to leave?"
And I was like "Leave."
And he was like "Okay then, go."
And I was like. "Did you want me to cover my coworker's lunch before I do though?"

Surprise crossed his face. 
Probably because the thought hadn't yet crossed his mind that my coworker would be by their selves in the department for the rest of their shift. And who knew when the DM would show up.
So he was like "Alright, if you're up to it." To which I was thinking, no I wasn't lol but I wanted to be as helpful as possible since I would be leaving my shift halfway through. 

So I covered my coworker's lunch. 

And then I could finally go clock out.
-Which is when I discovered that I hadn't ever clocked in lol.

And when I was leaving the manager was like "Thanks for being you, Sarnic." 

^^;;
Heh.
I try.

I mean, anyone else would have called out and left the department scrambling.
but me?
I don't like to work that way.
Honestly it stresses me out when I even consider the idea of just...leaving the dept shorthanded.
because I've been on the receiving end of that shorthandedness way to often to feel comfortable about doing it myself unless I'm confident that the department will already have coverage.

And yah.
I came home.
And basically died lol. 
I slept for three hours, and spent the rest of the day just recovering because I was still shaky and tired and achy....

In any case...I hope the visit went well....I won't find out until tomorrow how it went. :S 
*fingers crossed* 

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi