Sudden NO.

*exhales*

I'm not very good with change.

Which...like I want to be. Because there are loads of time that change is good.

But it's kinda…hard for me to want change.
Especially when it's just kinda thrown at me. 

If I'm expecting something to happen, or at least I'm given time to get used to the concept, then at least I handle it better. I know what to expect.

But being suddenly confronted with something new and I'm not expecting it....

Yah. I don't handle it well.
Often my knee-jerk reaction is to say: NO!!!

I dig my heels in. I hold my ground. I don't budge.

So...I end up not doing a lot of things....

Because I wasn't 'ready' for it when it popped up.

*exhales*

It's frustrating being me sometimes.

And this tendency to not accept change....

Has resulted in many a night where I'm left wondering just how my life would be different....

If I had been more willing to take that risk. Take that chance.
And just do something. 

But with how much some changes freak me out.... *exhales*

Who knows how well I'll ever be able to cope with being confronted with the unexpected. 

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi