I Should've Stayed Home

*exhales* 

You ever have those days where it's just....awkward?
Yah.
Got that today at church.

Not that it was as awkward as I was thinking it was.

But you know it's just....awkward to sit next to people that you're not....
Well...not quite sure you're on good terms with. 

Because, like, the last conversation you had with them....just didn't go well.
And you have no idea whether or not they're thinking on said conversation like you are currently...or if it's completely water under the bridge for them. 

Yah. That was today at church.

Not a good place to be in really, when your mind has been spiraling the past couple of days. 
Wondering if the person is secretly annoyed at you, disliking you, purposely ignoring you.
Wondering if you need to bring up the conversation on your mind. Or just ignore it and try and act like it didn't happen.

It's just one of those days where I have to wonder why the cards all aligned to have me be near them.
Was it a coincidence?
Was it purposeful?
Who knows. 

I don't.
Don't know what to say either.
It's...hard.
Because in some ways I'm in the right and in others I'm in the wrong and it's difficult to find the right balance of right and wrong to smooth things over.

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi