Emptyness

It's so weird how empty a room can feel when all the personalized touches of the person are taken out.
The knick-knacks.
The furniture.
The bedding.
The hangings on the wall.

Leaving behind empty spaces, very bare places and a rather echoy room.

It's hard to believe that Kikay isn't living here anymore.
That all her stuff is basically gone.
That the room that has been hers for the past couple of years....
Is empty.
Barren.
And may eventually hold the stuff of a different individual.
Someone I probably won't know, or if I do know them, won't know that well.

It's weird.
Because in some cases it felt like we'd be living together for forever.
Even though I knew it wouldn't be the case.
It's weird to not have her stuff in her room.
To have that room empty of personality.

It makes it all the more real.
That she's moving on, going on to bigger and better things, taking another step forward in the game in life.....

Leaving me.
Leaving me feeling like I'm falling farther and farther behind.
Wondering if I too should be doing something more. Doing more....even though I'm rather happy with how life is going right now.....

It's hard when your younger siblings are doing all the things you thought you should have been the first to do....and yet still haven't done.

So odd.

And it's hard.
It truly hit me this morning that she was leaving.
That she wouldn't be around.
She wouldn't live here any more.

It's hard.
I'm not a fan of the unknown, of change. Especially when I don't know how the dice are going to fall....

But at least I was semiprepared for this moment.

And have the opportunity to be semi prepared for more change as other roomie has confirmed today that she is indeed moving out.

So two empty rooms.
Two potential new roommates.

A lot of change and adjustment coming my way. 

Hopefully I can handle it okay.

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi