Time to Bloom

So the other night...I don't even know how I came to this.
But like. I looked up potential causes for tension....as a lot of my headaches are tension caused.

And just kinda wanted to see what I could change in my life to help decrease the stressors that cause me to tense up, or at least help my body remain more relaxed.

And one of the things I saw in relation to this tension/headache thing as a cause for them was:

Depression.

Which.

Kinda threw me as it was like....the first thing that came up on the list.

Depression could be causing my headaches. 
Go figure.

But like overall I've felt that I've been...pretty happy?
I mean we have our good days and our bad days.

But have I been depressed?

I think the answer is....

I was.

I mean. It makes sense to be depressed after everything that Happened in November. 

And depression can equal struggles in other things.
Like wanting to do things.
Struggling with writing, with keeping my room clean, with doing laundry, dishes, most household chores, caring for my fishtanks.

They all just kinda…..slid by. 

I've been existing this past winter, but not always doing.
Trying to keep up a positive light.

But like....
I've probably been depressed all things considering.

And it's been noticeable how much of a depression it's been.

Because in the past weekish? As it's been warming up and occasionally been sunny enough (when it's not snowing) to go on walks outside.

That my whole attitude has been a bit brighter.
I've been wanting to do things.
I've been proactive a bit.

Like in writing in my journal for the first time in a month and a half.
Reading my scriptures for the first time in a month and a half.
I cleaned my fish tanks and replaced filter cartridges that needed to be replaced...oh probably back in January but I never 'got around' to doing them.

And like, it's kinda like....Spring really.
A time for blooming. To sprout. To grow.

Hibernation time is coming to an end and its time to be more active and do the things.

Which includes getting rid of more stressors.
So goal is to keep up on journaling and scriptures because I get stressed out if I skip a day or week....or you know a month. 
Another goal is to try and get my room more cleaned and organized.
Doing laundry will probably help that a lot lol.
But also organizing my books again as I've brought a bunch back from my Mom's Library that I need to fit into my shelves.
I need to reorganize my knickknacks and decide what I want to keep out and what I should put into boxes.

Like it's basically that "spring cleaning" time of year lol.
A time to start fresh and new and just get a new energy to the place. 

So here's to hoping that with the warmer weather I'll be more 'active' in my life again and able to do more and keep my life more in order and my stressors down along with the tension.

*fingers crossed* it all works out lol. 

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi