And We Keep Burning

 You know...after having one bad day...you kinda think to yourself that that means the rest of the week will be better.

And like. Yesterday was not a good day. Not with the auditors in town and my mental health teetering rather badly.

But today. Today I was like "It's gonna be a good day!" I was mentally prepared to go into work and figure out what needed to be fixed in my department and make sure it got fixed and all that jazz.

Customers though.

The freaking customers.

Made it into yet another bad day at work.

And it's soooo frustrating. So very frustrating. 

Like the beginning of my work shift didn't start too badly. A little bit of chaos in the grooming salon. A bit of this and that around the store and back up cashiering and such. 

But I had the inkling it wouldn't be a great day.

Not when my opening coworker told me that while the morning hadn't been 'busy' per se....it had been filled with needy customers. Like they said they had 3 thirty minute phone calls in a row where the customers just....wouldn't accept the answers given.

And as the evening wore on....it got worse...like the bad chaotic worse.

Tuesdays are usually pretty dead days for us. Like we're busy but not chaotic busy. It's slow compared to other days.

Today was not a slow day.

I was kept hopping all over the store from register to curbside to crickets to cats to register to phone calls to cats to stocking stuff and on and on and round and round.

It was like a never ending battle of being on the edge of drowning with too much going on.

It was hopping from customer to customer and still having customers leaving unsatisfied or angry because 'the lines were too long. I wasn't helped soon enough. You only have one cashier" as if they couldn't (and they probably couldn't) see the fact that there were three of us at the front of the store and two of us were trying to help customers with curbside issues while the cashier is new and was trying to work as fast as they could.

It just....it was a chaotic day.

We tried to start the bird bedding change sometime before I got into work...and didn't get stuff put back until like the last hour we were open for the day because we kept getting pulled away by customers.

We had our truck show up super late and it took time to unload that. 

We had a register go down and we needed to restart it only the day got so crazy that we totally forgot to finish restarting it until I tried to shut it down for the night and discovered we'd never properly got it up again so I had to wait for the register to reboot before I could shut it down.

We had a group of teens come into the store wanting a hamster but the hamster they chose was aggressive only my new coworker didn't know it was aggressive and proceeded to get bitten multiple times trying to get it out of the cage for the customers before I intervened and directed them to a different cage.

We had a lady come into the store insisting she'd ordered 12 fish tanks for pick up and refused to believe that she was in the wrong store until fifteen minutes later after trying to 'help' prove to her that she wasn't in the right place.

We had No time whatsoever to face the store because of all the crazy so it kinda just looks like a disaster.

And then when we were finally getting ready to leave our new cashier left without waiting for us but I didn't see them leave so had to go hunt around the store to make sure they actually left the building before me and my closing petcare coworker could leave the store.

Only I ended up getting called back into the store just as I was about to enter the on ramp because a different manager got a call saying that the alarm system was still going off so I had to turn around and go figure out what had happened and make sure that my coworker actually was gone.

And the issue ended up being that there's this door that we've never had to lock up before that i attempted to lock up today as the auditors said it needed to be locked up when we weren't open but the doors refused to stay turned off and so I'm guessing they kept trying to open and it was that motion that set off the alarm system, but I couldn't get the stupid doors to stop opening and closing so I finally had to just leave them open and lock up like we used to normally lock up otherwise the alarm would just go off again...

It's just....been a day.

Such a bad day.

I'm hoping that tomorrow is better.

But since both Monday and Tuesday have basically been filled with fire...I won't be surprised if tomorrow ends up being a disaster as well.

*fingers crossed* that that isn't the case.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Here I Am, Drowning

 To be honest...I've been struggling for a while now. 

Like...it kinda just feels like I'm treading water, trying to find solid ground to stand on, but as soon as I find the smallest toehold...another wave crashes over me and makes me lose my grip so I'm once again struggling to find any sign of land, of shallower water.

It's easy to recognize that I'm probably fighting a form of depression. 

Because I know that the little things used to not hit me so hard.

But after two years of dealing with pandemic related stressors along with family related stressors and work related stressors....it all kinda just....overwhelms.

And I know I'm not in the best of states because I've struggled to keep this blog updated.

Like sure. I'd miss a day every now and then, especially if a nuclear migraine was present.

But to see me try and falter and try and falter again to keep this blog updated with any consistency over the past year....

I know. I'm not in the best mental places right now.

It's not deep depression or anything it's just....a sort of apathy I think. 

Things happen. Stuff occurs. 

Yet is it really worth it to write it down? Do I want to process my own thoughts and feelings when I'm still in the middle of struggling through whatever the thing I want to write about but don't know how to write about it is occuring?

Does anyone actually ever read this blog?

Is it worth it to write if no one sees it?

Like...I know I have people who read this blog. I know I have a following all over the world. And Blogging has been something I've really enjoyed in the past.

But it's hard....knowing that complete strangers care more about what I write about than my own family.

And perhaps these family issues have been why I've been struggling to write. 

As it only reminds me that my mom used to read my blog consistently. She would stay up to date with me. Would be interested in what I had to say.

Yet as far as I know, none of my family, close or extended, still reads this blog.

It's just a forgotten relic only remembered because I bring up blogging every now and then to them. 

It's hard to continue doing something when your own enjoyment as faded because of a lack of enthusasim.

*exhales*

And like....It's just been...difficult in general. 

Often it feels like I'm facing the world alone. And I'll always be alone. Who is there to rely on but myself? 

No idea. At this point I'm kinda just left resigned to the idea of just...being....here. Alone. 

Like I have my roommates. I have my coworkers. I have my family. Yet it still feels like I'm alone. 

And it's annoying. Frustrating. Irritating. All those fun words.

To feel myself be in such an apathetic state. To want to write and yet wile the days away because my emotional/mental energy is just....struggling. 

I start the day with high hopes it will be better. That I'll accomplish these goals of mine that I want to get done...and then something happens and I find myself treading water again.

Struggling to find the confidence and ability to do what I want to do.

Because I'm left with the question...is it even worth it?

Like today for example.

It started well enough for a 5 am shift. As the first Monday of the month I get to go to work stupid early to help with pricing for our new monthly sales and such.

Which bright side. I get off work early. Dark side. I have to go to bed early which doesn't work that well with my night owl tendencies.

Still. Work was going well enough. We got pricing done. I'd basically accomplished everything I'd been set to do. And was just looking foward to finding ways to kill time until my shift ended.

And then the Auditors walked in.

Now. The Auditors have been this nebulous force of 'they will be coming sometime maybe this year' for like the past six months.

And it's....super difficult to be in a constantly hyper vigilante stage when you don't know when something is going to be happen. No one can run hot 24/7 and work has it's good weeks and bad weeks. And it's hard to prepare for this 'test' that may or may not come.

So to have the auditors walk in on a Monday?

Yah.

It's like a blow to the stomach.

Here I was. Having come off of a good conference weekend and I get hit with a bad wind.

*exhales* Why is it that when something good happens something bad immediately seems to follow?

Like I'm already under enough stress, now the Auditors are here and....I knew my department wasn't ready. 

Our fish wall in particular has been struggling the past month with an algae bloom that I'm sure I could get rid of if a) I had freaking time to change the UVB bulbs and b) had the right gravel to write off so I could replace the green covered stuff in the tanks with fresh rock.

But the rest of the department? I was...okay not confident that it would go well, but feeling like it would be at least okay.

That feeling continued to deplete into nothing as the remaining hour and a half I was on shift continued and the freaking auditors insisted on constantly hanging around the reptile cages like it was the only thing in the store worth inspecting.

And I knew the reptile cages might have some issues. The humidity gauges need to be replaced. The lids are old and need to be switched out. There's probably a missing hide or something in a cage. 

But the spent a good freaking FORTY FIVE MINUTES in front of those cages. Staring at the reptiles like they expected them to suddenly start tap dancing and performing a musical number.

And the longer they hovered. The worse I felt. 

And still feel.

Because Petcare did far worse than we'd expected it to do. And it's just...frustrating. Like I've been struggling through a pandemic. Dealing with short hours. Impossible standards. NEW freaking standards that I haven't been able to fully impliment. Along with the stress of like manager duties.

And I'm suddenly left with zero confidence in my abilities. 

Like I can't even keep the right humidity levels in the tanks. I can't keep the right dirt mixture in the cages. I'm obviously horrible at communicating with my team and we're just...awful caretakers.

Which is made worse knowing that I have NINE years of experience under my belt at the store. My department should be a shining example to other stores as to what should and shouldn't be done.

And here I am feeling like I tripped at the finish line. 

That I totally screwed everything up.

And I recognize that I'm catastrophizing things. Making them worse than they actually are. Like I'm not going to get fired over a failed audit. Especially since it's my first audit as a manager. So like my job is still secure.

But my boat's been once again rocked.

And I wish for once that I could just....find a steady place to lay down the anchor and hang out. Find something in my life where I can be like "Yes. I'm good at this." without immediately being brought down to my knees in humiliation that something went wrong.

It doesn't help that I only have 2 days to try and fix things.

I'm going on a much needed vacation out of state then. And like....I need this break. I've planned for this break for a good...i don't know three months now?

And yet I already feel like I'm going to be stressed out.

Because of the stupid auditors and their stupidly bad timing. 

Two days to fix things. 

Because while I'm on vacation we have the official animal count that I should be present for and won't be. Like...I can't predict when they'll do the counts. But OF COURSE they choose the weekend I'm gone to do it.

And like to add onto the pile We have a Corporate visit that week too that I'm gone.

Which on the one hand I was excited to be gone for once during their visits as I'm ALWAYS working the day they come and to have one less stress on my plate is amazing.

But now I'm worrying because corporate will see the results of the audit and they'll probably want to check and see that we're doing things right now that we have feedback and I WON'T BE THERE TO DEFEND MY DEPARTMENT.

And I only have 2 days to try and get it in order and twelve days to freak out about how my coworkers are going to maintain said department without it all catching on fire.

It's going to catch on fire.

I know this. It always catches on fire when I'm not present. Something always goes wrong.

Just like today went wrong. *exhale* Would it have gone better if I'd been in charge of my department today instead of pricing? Probably not by much.

But it's so frustrating. To have all my lackings laid out bare before my eyes and know that I've basically failed this test and can only make a mad dash effort to try and make the retest while already knowing...there isn't much I can do.

And like not all of it is in my control. There are many many factors out of my control. 

But still.

It's hard to not blame myself.

To think the worst of me.

And it certainly doesn't help to come home from a horrible end of my shift to discover that I have failed again in the simplest of tasks of taking care of my fish tank and go to find comfort in it only to find that my Sharks have taken yet another goldfish as a victim when said goldfish had been fine and healthy just hours before when I went to bed.

Like....it's just stress upon stress upon stress.

Like I should be enjoying my fish tank, and yet my dad gifted me with 4 goldfish that he no longer wants to care for, and like my tank has been stable for months now. The eye eating fish had been taken care of....so I thought...and placed in a different tank.

And yet. Not even a week has passed and out of those 4 goldfish.

1. Lost both it's eyes to the bala sharks -I'm guessing I haven't seen it happen-- and yet said blind goldfish is somehow still living.

2. The Black Moor goldfish got his fins all torn up by my Red Panda barbs.

3. This afternoon when I got home my other oranda goldfish was discovered dead and eyeless at the top of the tank.

Leaving the 4th little calico goldfish the only non casualty to my fishtank so far.

Do you know how horrible it makes one feel to try and help out and do something good only for it to backfire on you?

Like yes, Daddoo let me take your fish in, this is fine. They'll be fine and WHAM.

The fish aren't fine. I've maimed 1. Killed 1. The moor has recovered but at this point I don't know what to do with my blind goldfish nor the moore.

And again...it's 2 days before my vacation so what in the world can I actually do to ensure their safety when I'm NOT GOING TO BE HERE for nearly 2 weeks? 

Nothing.

Currently I have the blind one and the moor isolated in a little breeder net.

But they can't stay there permanently.

The moor I'm halfway hoping that I'll be able to release back into the main tank and that it was only the fact that he was acting sluggish and in shock when first put into the tank that set the barbs picking after him.

But the other goldfish? No way I can keep him in the big tank when he's blind and I've semi-aggressive fish that apparently love to pick on weaker looking fish.

It just sucks. Like I try to help my Daddoo and decrease his stress but in the process only increase my own.

I already had to set up a 10 gallon tank I didn't want to set up in the first place because dad gifted me with a semi-aggressive gloshark. Now I have one at least 2 goldfish that need their own tanks. And I definitely can't set up yet another proper size tank for them. I already have 5 tanks in the house. I don't want a sixth one.

But the blind one deserves a better tank than a little breeder net. The black moor deserves to not be picked on by other fish.

And since my dad has already taken down his tank and won't be present at home for a while to take care of the fish even if he did take them back and hadn't taken down his tank......

It's like.... a What Now moment.

Do I move the semi-aggressive shark into the big tank and hope for the best so I can move the goldfish into the 10 gallon and at least give them a little more room?

No idea.

At this point I'm just...waiting to see what happens with the eyeless goldfish. If he survives being blinded and survives my absence for the next 2 weeks where his care is placed in the hands of my roomies.

It's just....

I'm so tired guys.

So tired of feeling that flicker of happiness only to have it firmly squashed by another wave of darkness.

I just....want to enjoy something. To enjoy happiness for longer than twenty minutes. 

Yet the constant strain of the last two years....it's made it seem more and more difficult to obtain. 

Here's hoping that getting away from it all on the vacation will help.

But at this point...I honestly won't be surprised if it doesn't.

Things haven't exactly gone my way for a while now.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

191st Semiannual General Conference Highlights -Sunday Sessions

Sunday Morning

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

• We are striving, though imperfectly, to become better neighbors, friends, and people. 
• God is Among Us. He will draw near unto all who will draw near unto him. 
• Why do we have such a hard time walking in such a straight line? Small tiny changes in course can make all the difference.
• We struggle to walk straight ahead, because of increasing uncertainty about where straight ahead is. 
• Without reliable landmarks, we drift off course. Both physically and spiritually.
• Most changes in our lives both positively and negatively happen gradually over time. 
• We are all susceptible to falling away no matter how strong we have been in the past. Keep diligent. Keep yourself on the straight course and use the landmarks provided. 
• Some Landmarks are daily prayer, and using the scriptures. 
• When we assess our progress and align ourselves with the spiritual landmarks God has provided, we cannot falter. It is our personal restoration.
• When darkness creeps into our lives, our daily restoration opens ourselves to light chasing away the shadows of fears and doubts.
• If we seek it, God will give us the knowledge we need. 
• As often as we ask, God will Teach us the Way and help us Follow It. This requires Steady Effort on our part.
• We need a steady flow, we cannot rely on others testimonies forever. We must build our own.
• Do you want to change the shape of your life, change the shape of your day, want to change the shape of your day? Change the shape of your hour.
• God is a God of New Beginnings. 

Camille N. Johnson

• The Savior is the Author and Finisher of our Faith. Will you invite him to Finish your story?
• Do we not have the faith to accept the answer we may receive from the Lord?
• Are you looking to fit the narrative into the story you want to have or the story the Lord wants you to have. 
• Let. God. Write. Your. Story. He will deliver you out of the darkness and into the light of happiness. 
• Christ stands ready to use us as Divine Instruments as an instrument in his hands if you have the faith to let him, to let him be the author of your story. 
• It is through the manifestations of the Spirit that we will fill the Master's hand, writing our stories with us. 
• We receive more faith by doing something that requires us to have more faith. 
• We can choose to write a comfortable narrative for ourselves, or let God write the story for us and let the roles he wants us to play take place over other ambitions. 

Dale G. Renlund

• The Pandemic is a spiritual Stress Test for the Lord's disciples in his Church.
• We have a work to do. To change our hearts. To become unified. This isn't a new challenge, but it is a critical one. 
• Contention weakens our collective witness to the world.
• Everyone knows we're not His disciples when we don't show love one for another.
• Contention is spiritually unhealthy for us as individuals, we're robbed of peace, love, and rest and our well being is compromised. 
• The test doesn't point out that we're hopeless, only that we need to continue to change. 
• Unity requires effort. 
• When love of Christ envelopes our lives, we approach challenges in our life with more humility and meekness. 
• We are doing the best we can with the experiences that we have.
• If we want others to respect our opinion, we must offer them the same courtesy. 
• Even former enemies can become united in their discipleship of the Savior.
• You don't need to abandon your culture, your beliefs, heritage in order to agree with others. You can be unified in your discipleship of the Savior. 
• Be valiant in putting our love of God and the discipleship of the Savior above all other considerations. Let's covenant to Be One.
• Shun contention and Peace will be yours.

Vaiangina Sikahema

• Many aspects and blessings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is given to us in sequential order.
• There was Order to how God created the Earth and there is Order in his Church today.
• God expects you to live your life in order and to follow his Teachings in proper Sequence.
• If you choose to live your life out of sequence you may find it to be more difficult and chaotic.
• Our growth is unique to each of individually. It begins in stages and develops slowly as we gain experience sequentially.
• Our growth is dependent on our willingness, our curiosity, our faith, our understanding.
• Faith precedes the Miracle. We must exercise Faith first before the Miracle can happen.

Quentin L. Cook

• Adversity is not evidence of the Lord's disfavor or withdrawal of his blessings.
• Personal peace can be achieved despite the anger and contention that blights the world today. It is never more important than now to seek personal peace.
• Peace is anchored in the life and mission of Jesus Christ.
• We should be willing to compromise and eliminate strife in regards to matters that do not involve righteousness to avoid conflict. 
• We need to remain firm and steadfast in matters of spiritual righteousness. 
• Do not pitch your tents towards the world. Instead pitch your tents towards the Temple.
• We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation. All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Christ.
• The Savior can provide protection and peace and shelter you from life's storms.

Russell M. Nelson

• Sometimes we need major reinforcement in our original foundations. 
• The foundation of any building must be strong and resilient enough to withstand earthquakes, corrosion, winds, and settling.
• We need to implement extraordinary measures. Measures we have never taken before to strengthen our personal spiritual foundations. 
• Unprecedented times call for unprecedented measures.
• If you and I are to withstand the forthcoming perils and pressures, it is imperative that we each have a firm spiritual foundation built upon the rock of Christ. 
• How Firm Is YOUR Foundation? What reinforcements do you need to do?
• Those who build their foundations upon Christ and have learned how to draw upon his power, need not succumb to the unique anxieties of this era.
• Everything we believe and every covenant God has made with his people comes together in the Temple.
• The Principles are Divine. No one changes them besides the Lord through revelation. But the Methods can change at any time through inspiration from the Lord.
• The procedure may change, but the covenants Remain the Same.
• 3 Truths: 1. The Restoration is a Process, not an Event. 2. The Ultimate Objective of the Gathering of Israel is to bring the blessings of the Temple to God's children. 3.  The Lord will reveal More Insights.
• Ongoing restoration needs ongoing revelation.
• God wants you to have spiritual insights and awakenings that you've never had before. 
• God is providing to each of us the opportunity to bolster our spiritual foundations more effectively.
• If you don't yet love to attend the temple, go more often. Not less.
• Overtime the Temple will become a place of safety, solace, and revelation.
• Being married in the temple only makes a difference if you want to progress forever, be together forever.
• Don't wait until marriage to be endowed. Experience what the Lord has to give you now in the temple.
• Whenever any kind of upheaval occurs in your life, the safest place to be spiritually is within the safety of your temple covenants. 

Sunday Afternoon

Gerrit W. Gong

• Be assured, you are safely home in the Lord. 
• Has your Trust been frayed or broken? Is that why you wish to run away?
• Whether we are coming home or going home, God is coming to meet us. 
• In God we can find faith and courage, wisdom and discernment to trust again. 
• Keep the Light on for each other. Be more forgiving and less judgmental of ourselves and of each other. 
• Trust is an act of Faith.
• Trust becomes Real when we do Hard things with Faith.
• While our individual circumstances are personal, gospel principles can help us know when and if to trust others again.
• You don't have to wonder whom you can safely trust when it comes to the Lord. You can always Trust him to know us best and to love us.
• Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal. Trust God and His Miracles.
• Condemnation looks to the past. Forgiveness looks liberally to the Future.
• Our Agency and Freedom have meaning because we are accountable before God.
• Would you please consider that CHrist is asking us to open our hearts, compassion, and humility and see ourselves as both the prodigal son coming home and the one waiting to rejoice in the fact that said son has come home. 
• Be Not Afraid. Only Believe.

L. Todd Budge

• Because of your generosity, the Church has been able to respond to the needs of those in trouble throughout the world.
• Sacrifice is a process of becoming Holy and coming to know God. Not an event or a ritualistic giving up of things. 
• Sacrifice is less about giving up but more of giving TO the Lord.
• Our desire should be to simply give in order to bless. 
• Each of us is Small, but Together as we Hasten to give to God and our fellow men, Tons of Lives are blessed. 

Anthony D. Perkins

• Regardless of where you live, physical and emotional suffering has been, will be, or is now a part of your life.
• Hope is Found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and Hope can also be A Part of your Life.
• 4 Principles of Hope: 1. Suffering does not mean that God is displeased with your life. 2. Heavenly Father is intimately aware of your suffering. 3. Jesus Christ offers his enabling power to help you have strength to endure your suffering well. 4. Choose to find Joy each day.
• Refined souls can bear others burdens with better empathy and compassion.
• God's Love was and is enough.
• You don't have to get through your suffering alone. You can rely on the Lord to help strengthen you and take your burdens from you.
• It is Okay to Weep. 
• We can feel joy regardless of what Is or Is Not happening in our lives.

Michael A. Dunn

• If you break things down to their parts and increase each by just 1%, you can see a dramatic increase in how things run.
• What if our approach is to narrow our focus even as we broaden it. Instead of trying to perfect everything, instead focus on just one small thing.
• Bite size goals and bring about big changes.
• Habits are the compound interest in self improvement.
• For small gains to work, there must be a daily effort. 
• We cannot go from Attila The Hun to Mother Teresa overnight. We need to start with small changes.
• Look to see what has stagnated or slowed you on the path to Eternity. Then use those small changes to move forward once more.

Sean Douglas

• We can feel joy even while having a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad year. 
• If you want to Be Happy, Keep the Commandments.
• Doubt is an enemy of faith and joy. Doubt is the breeding ground for spiritual hurricanes.
• Just as faith is a choice, so is doubt. If we choose doubt we choose to be acted upon. 
• If we aren't anchored in Christ, doubt and it's Lures will lead us away to apathy.
• Don't let your circumstances determine your happiness. 
• I know that Jesus WILL hold my hand.
• Only your unbelief will keep God from blessing you with miracles to move the Mountains in your Life.
• The Bar is set at your Belief instead of at your Knowing.
• The Right way is to Believe in Christ.  

Carlos G. Revillo Jr.

• As we live and obey the principles and ordinances of the gospel, we are blessed, changed, and converted to being more like Christ.
• The gospel is truly the way to a happy and abundant life.
• The Lord takes care of those who demonstrate their Faith in Him.
• Repentance is a lot like soap. It is a cleaning agent. It gives the opportunity to get rid of the impurities and debris in our lives. 
• This gospel can bring us hope, peace, and joy. Not only now, but in the future. 

Alvin F. Meredith III

• If you only look at what is directly in front of you, you will never 'drive straight.' Look down the road and you'll always drive straight.
• Focusing on the things that are most important, especially the things down the road, is a key for maneuvering through this life. 
• While you Focus on the Savior, you can do the impossible. But the moment you look away, you can find yourself diminished. 
• The Savior will always reach out and lift you to safety.
• 1. Focus on Jesus Christ. 2. Beware of Distractions. 3. We can be Rescued.
• You can't play a successful game without knowing the goal. Nor live a meaningful life without knowing its purpose.
• Our purpose in this life is to have Joy.
• Always keep Christ at the Center of our Focus.
• When we must wait, be assured, the Savior is Always watching and will ensure that we won't have to deal with more than we can bear. 
• Rescue always comes to the faithful.

Neil L. Andersen 

• All things must come to pass in their time. Now is our Time. We are reestablishing the revealed name of the Church.
• Don't allow the World to Cloud your Faith in the Redeemer. Be. Not. Moved.
• The Name of the Church is Not Negotiable. 

Russell M. Nelson

• We have been given our charge for the next 6 months. So the question is. How will we be different because of what we've heard and felt?
• There are many things out of our control, yet there is just as many things we can control. 
• We decide how we will treat each other. We choose those to whom we will turn to for truth and guidance. 
• Counter the Lure of the World by making time for the Lord in your life, each and every day.
• Even the most faithful Saints can be derailed by the steady beat of Babylon's Band. 
• Make time for the Lord. Make your spiritual foundation firm. 
• 13 New Temples! 

To experience the Conference talks in their entirety, please visit this website:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/broadcasts?lang=eng&video=68059173234742924700&mode=watch

Until you next find these words;
I'll watching the leaves. 
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

191st Semiannual General Conference Highlights -Saturday Sessions

Saturday Morning

Russell M. Nelson

• Every message from Conference from the past and now has been the result of prayer and much spiritual preparation. The focus of many messages today will be on the Savior, his mercy, and his redeeming power. 
• Knowledge of our Savior is personally vital and relevant to Every Human Soul.
• This Conference Listen for: 1. Pure Truth 2. Pure Doctrine of Christ and 3. Pure Revelation
• One of the plagues of our day is that too few people know where to turn for Truth. 
• Nothing could be worth more than all our Father has. 
• Pure Revelation for the questions in your heart will make this conference rewarding and unforgettable. If you have not yet sought for the ministering of the Holy Ghost to help you hear what the Lord would have you hear. I invite you to do so now. Please make this conference a time of feasting on messages of the Lord. 

Jeffrey R. Holland

• In the kingdom of God there can be no halfway measures. No stopping or turning. No going back. The work moves forward. 
• When difficult things are asked of us, even things that are contrary to our hearts. Remember that the Lord wants what's best for us and we should look to him for guidance. 
• There is divine help for every one of us at Any hour that we feel to make a change in our behavior.
• We should All work to be known as only the Children of Christ. Let there be no more "-ites" among us. 
• The First Great Truth in the Universe is that God loves us exactly as we are now. He loves us with all his heart, might, mind, and strength. 
• If we love God enough to try and be fully faithful unto Him, he will give us the ability, capacity, the will and the way to love our neighbor and ourselves. 

Bonnie H. Cordon

• The Lord has a plan for you. He has prepared you for This day. Right now. To be a strength and a force for good in his Mighty work. We need you. It won't be as grand without you. 
• What's the most important thing you need to know? You need to know who you are and what your purpose is. 
• The Savior's love for us is unfailing even when we fail. 
• Read your patriarchal blessing. Read it often. 
• We occasionally get distracted from why we are here and divert our energies to somewhere else that may not be as important in the eternal perspective of things. 
• Come unto Christ. Come unto him now. But don't come alone. It is essential for all. 
• Nothing is too big or too small for Christ to heal. 
• Yes, you Are here for Something Grand. The Lord needs you to Change the World. You will find yourself accomplishing the impossible as you do His Will. 

Ulisses Soares

• Act compassionately without distinction and to those who most need help. 
• Extend a hand and provide relief to those who are overburdened. 
• Expressing compassion to others is in fact the essence of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And a mark able evidence of our spiritual closeness to the Savior. 
• Many people within our circle of influence are seeking comfort, inclusion, and compassion. Let us act and help them as we are able.
• Extend our sympathy to others even as the Lord extends his empathy to us. 
• We should NEVER make harsh and cruel judgement of our neighbor because we ourselves are in need of mercy from our Savior. 
• Appearances don't always represent an accurate representation of someone's behavior. Only Christ can see all facets of any given situation. 
• Christ always looks on the Heart and not on the Appearance. 

D. Todd Christofferson

• As we abide in God's love we depend less and less on others to guide us. 
• God's blessings are not unconditional only his love is. 
• The commandments of God are strict. Because his kingdom and citizens can only stand if they will choose goodness over evil without exception. 
• There is a difference between forgiving sin and condoning it. 
• Despite our imperfection we can still hope to find a place in his kingdom. 
• Only through Christ can we find redemption. 
• Ours is not a religion of rationalization nor a religion of perfectionism, but a religion of redemption.
• The love of the Father and the Son is freely given, but also includes hope and expectations. 
• Repentance is a Path to Happiness.
• If God so loves us, we also should love one another. 
• Can God rely on my love as I rely on His Love? 

Clark G. Gilbert

• Are you systematically involving the Lord in your personal development?
• It's not where we start but where we are headed that matters most. 
• Our future is determined less by our starting point and more by the slope in which we travel forward.
• Christs considers what we do with what we are given. 
• In the Lord's calculus he will do everything he can to help us turn our slopes towards Heaven. 
• First. Focus on Where you are headed. Not where you began. Second. Involve the Lord in the process of lifting your slope. 
• Over focusing on a difficult starting point can cause it to define you and constrain your ability to choose. 
• The best way to show your love is to never lower your expectations.
• Focus together on your potential and work to elevate your slope. 
• Show some humility for the circumstances we may not have created ourselves. 
• Focusing on a high starting point may trick us into thinking we are thriving when in fact we are sitting stagnant. 

Patricio M. Giuffra

• A prayer should be an expression of the heart not just plain repetitions.
• True repentance begins with Faith that Christ has the power to cleanse, heal, and strengthen us. 

Dallin H. Oaks

• If we cease valuing our churches for any reasons. We threaten our personal spiritual life. And it reduces God's blessings to our nations.
• Attendance at church helps us become better people and a better influence in the lives of other people.
• Personal disappointment should never keep us from the doctrine of Christ who taught us to serve not to be served. 
• No one can worship for you. You must do your own waiting upon the Lord. 
• Church attendance can open our hearts and sanctify our souls.
• We don't just serve alone or at our own choice or convenience. We usually serve as a team. 
• We all need socialization. 
• Members who forgo church attendance, and only rely on individual learning loose their chance to experience the power and blessings of the priesthood, the fullness of restored doctrine, and the motivations and opportunities to apply that doctrine. 
• Going to Church helps us to grow spiritually.
• We cannot wish our way into the presence of God. We are to obey the laws on which that blessing is predicated. 
• We do not believe that good can Only be accomplished through a Church. Independent of a Church we see millions of people supporting and carrying out good works. We see these works as a manifestation of an eternal truth: The spirit giveth light to every man who comes into the world. 

Saturday Afternoon

David A. Bednar

• Helping individuals to experience the mighty change of heart and bind them to the Lord through covenants is a fundamental part of the Gospel. 
• Are we Armed with Righteousness and the Power of God in Glory? 
• "I am not sad. And everything will be okay."
• If the price has already been paid for your sins by the Lord, would you really demand that the price be paid twice through him?
• Honoring covenants arms us with righteousness and the power of God in great glory.

Ciro Schmeil

• You are called for what you can become.
• To do anything well, requires effort. 
• We need to ask in faith to know the Will of the Lord and to accept that he knows what is best for us.
• Sometimes you need to try multiple times without success before having the right circumstances occur to allow you the success you desire. 
• The Lord often directs us in what to do but doesn't tell us HOW to do it. He allows us to figure it out on our own.  
• We must seek guidance from the scriptures for our journey through life. 
• We must have faith to continue acting righteously as we wait for the answer to our prayers. 
• We must keep in mind that this is not a competition but that we should love and help each other. 

Susan H. Porter

• The first great truth of all eternity is that God loves all of us with all of his heart, might, mind, and strength. 
• We can picture the Love of God as light streaming from the Tree of Light shining across the earth and into the hearts of men.
• How can I show God's love through my service?
• God's love is not found in the circumstances of our lives but in his presence in our lives. 
• We know of His love when we receive strength beyond our own and when His Spirit brings peace, comfort and direction.

Erich W. Kopischke

• It is important to remember that the Savior loves each of his Father's children and fully comprehends each and every problem they have and deal with.
• It may take time to accept that you are loved, valued, and needed. And that's okay.  
• We must educate ourselves between the difficulties of normal development and actual mental challenges. 
• Spiritual Growth is an ongoing process.
• There is no simple cure-all for emotional and mental illness. 
• Focusing on Growth is healthier than obsessing over our shortcomings.
• Information precedes Inspiration and Revelation. 
• We are Not Alone.
• We must constantly watch over each other and be less judgmental, especially when our needs are not immediately met.
• Sometimes we must Speak Less and Listen Much More.

Ronald A. Rasband

• The word "Things" is used in the scriptures 2,354 times.
• The Things of our Soul are often clarified and deepened by asking questions. 
• Study with the Hope to Believe rather than trying to Find a Flaw.
• Stop increasing your doubts. Work instead to increase your Faith. 
• 1. Love the Father and the Son. 2. Love thy neighbor. 3. Love Yourself. 4. Keep the Commandments. 5. Always be worthy to Attend the Temple. 6. Be Joyful and Cheerful. 7. Follow God's Living Prophet.
• Frankly. Love. Everyone.
• Isn't it curious that loving ourselves seems to come less easy than loving others?
• God values the divinity within us and so must we.
• As you follow the Prophet's Guidance and Counsel you will NEVER be led Astray.
• Our prophet continually points us to our own River Jordans to be healed. 
• The Prophet's clear direction will shield us from all the adversary tries to throw our way.

Christoffel Golden Jr. 

• We live in a modern world filled with great knowledge but they are often camouflaging the unsteady foundation upon which they are built and fail to lead to salvation. 
• They that are wise and have received the truth and have taken the spirit for their guide, they will abide the day. 
• We have a constant invitation to keep changing, keep growing, keep being better. The gospel is a message of hope. A message of joy. That celebrates every step forward that we make.

Moises Villanueva

• The Savior has perfect compassion for us. He doesn't fault us for our short sightedness or the circumstances of our lives. 
• When the focus of our lives is on God we can feel joy regardless of what is happening or not happening in our lives. 
• We all have our Dark Days but the Lord can help us through them if we let his Light in.

Gary E. Stevenson

• The Gospel is Plain. Precious. And Simple.
• 1. Living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 2. Caring for Those in Need. 3. Inviting All To receive the Gospel. 4. Uniting Families for Eternity.
• The gospel of Jesus Christ is simply beautiful and beautifully simple.
• We should all strive to keep the gospel simple in our lives.
• The Lord wants to see us in the temple often.

Saturday Evening

M. Russell Ballard

• Have we fished all night without success only to find a miracle in the morning due to someone else's guidance? 
• Do we love the Lord more than the things in the world? What do we really value in life? Who we follow? Our relationships with each other? What really brings us joy and happiness? 
• In the end, the things of the world matter very little compared to the relationships we build.
• Knowing that Jesus is the Light, the Life, and the Hope of the World can give a greater desire to love Him more every day.  
• To Return to God's presence we need to Believe. We need to believe in Jesus. In God's Plan. We need to keep his commandments even in the midst of trials and strife. 
• We cannot lose our love for and hope in Jesus even when we face overwhelming challenges. Christ and Heavenly Father will never forget us. They love us. 
• Our true happiness depends on our relationship with God, with Christ, and with each other. 
• Do things that make this world a better place.

Sharon Eubank

• What was true during Alma's day is certainly still true for us in our day. Help the poor. Help the needy. Look out for each other. 
• Small efforts collectively make a big impact and magnify the callings we do as disciples of Christ. 
• Statistics never tell the whole story. We learn by example. 
• Prayers are answered most of the time by God through other people. May we be the answer to other people's prayers.
• The Essence of the Gospel is contained in how we answer the question asked by the Lord: "Do you Love me?"

Brent H. Nielson

• The Lord can perform miracles and heal anything wrong with us physical, but most importantly he can heal our hearts, cleanse us from sins and lift us up from difficult trials. 
• If ye have faith in God ye will have power to do whatever is expedient in God. 
• The Savior's healing power is evident in our lives. It may not be a physical healing, but an emotional and spiritual healing that may not be seen or understood at first. 
• Sometimes the way we want to be healed may not be the way we need to be healed. 

Arnulfo Valenzuela 

• To do anything well requires effort. 
• Increasing your faith in Him requires time and effort. 
• The Lord brings about great things through small means. 
• The Scriptures and Knowledge of God are gifts. Gifts we often take for granted. Let us cherish this blessing in our lives. 
• When we study the scriptures we're not simply seeking new information but to become a new person from what we learn. 

Bradley R. Wilcox

• It isn't amazing how easily a positively and well intentioned message can be misunderstood? This is what often happens with the concept of repentance. 
• God loves us despite our shortcomings, but still he wants us to improve and become all that we can become.
• God loves us as we are. But God also loves us too much to leave us as we are. 
• Life is like a cross-country road trip. We can't make our destination on one tank of gas. We must refill our gas tank over and over again. 
• We promise to press forward in our journey and God promises to always keep our tank filled so long as we fulfill our promises to him.
• Worthiness is NOT flawlessness. Worthiness is continuing trying. Never giving up.
• Never give up just because we slip up. 
• Being Worthy requires Patience and Persistence more than it requires Flawlessness.
• The Lord sees weakness differently than he does Rebellion. When God sees weaknesses it's always with the view of mercy. 
• Stop looking Down in Shame or Sideways for Excuses but Look Up for Help. 
• Start with small reachable goals. Focus on incremental growth. Get rid of the All or Nothing attitude. 
• You can prosper by degrees. 
• To deal with something really big we may need to chip away with it through small and wholesome bites. 
• God will help us AS we repent. He's not waiting to help us AFTER we repent but AS we repent. 
• God does not need people who are flawless. He seeks those who offer their heart and a willing mind and in those people he will make them perfect. 
• God's grace isn't just a prize for the worthy. It's not just a reward for the righteous. It's the endowment of strength that he gives that helps us become righteous.
• We're not walking just towards God and Christ. We are walking WITH them. 
• When you feel you have failed too many times to keep trying remember that the Lord is there. He is real and his arms are always extended out towards you. 

Alfred Kyungu

• Let us live in humility because it brings peace. It precedes glory. 
• One gift the Saviors offers us is the ability to forgive. Through his Atonement you can forgive those who have hurt you. 
• Forgiveness sets us free.
• The degree of our Love for the others is measured by what we are willing to sacrifice for them. 

Marcus B. Nash

• Our knowledge of God can come from personal and real experiences. 
• Hold up the Gospel light. To love. To share. To invite all in a normal natural way. 
• Sharing the Gospel brings Joy and Hope.
• Sharing the Gospel brings God's power into our lives. 
• Sharing the Gospel protects us from temptation. 
• Choosing to not hold up the Gospel Light moves us to the Shadows and makes us susceptible to temptation.
• The Gathering of Israel is OUR covenant responsibility and This is Our Time.
• Share the Gospel. Be You. And hold up the Light. 

Henry B. Eyring

• Pure revelation for the questions in your heart will make this conference unforgettable and heart warming. 
• My earnest prayer is that you may receive revelation from God. It has not changed from the days of Adam and Eve. It has been the same for all servants of the Lord from the beginning to the present day. It is the same for you and me It is done by exercising Faith. 
• Have enough faith to at least have hope that ye may receive answers from the Lord. 
• Answers will come to fit your needs and spiritual preparation.
• If your Faith in Jesus Christ has led to a Heart softened through the effects of the Atonement, you will more often be able to feel/hear the whisperings of the Spirit in answer to your prayers. 
• The clearest answers to your questions may come when you decide that you want what the Lord wants and not what you want to want. 
• The Savior will not shout commands to you and me. 
• The more we have the doctrine of Christ in our lives and our hearts the greater sympathy we have for those who've never had it or struggle to maintain their faith. 
• Personal Revelation should be consistent with the teachings of the prophets and the Lord. 
• Obedience to the Gospel brings people into a very close and intimate relationship with the Lord. It establishes a close connection between us on earth and our great creator in Heaven. It brings to our minds a feeling of perfect confidence in the Almighty and in his willingness to listen to our prayers.
• The Rock upon which we Stand is our Witness that Jesus is the Christ and that This is His Church that he Leads Personally.  

To experience the conference in it's entirety please visit: 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/broadcasts?lang=eng&video=68059173234742924700&mode=watch

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi