There Goes My Social Battery

*groans* 

I really hope it's a typo.
At least, something that isn't permanently set in stone yet.

Because I seriously do not like working evening shifts.

But checking my schedule for the next couple weeks.
I've discovered that in the second week of December I'm scheduled to work mostly evening/closing shifts. 

Cue me gagging. 

I mean for like...the past forever, I've been scheduled MORNING shifts. 
There was a time when I was scheduled to work Saturday evenings for like six months to a year and I HATED IT. 

I am not an evening retail person.

Having to socialize and talk to people for like 8 hours straight is not my jam. At all. 
I'm so exhausted and tired afterwards that I basically go home as a zombie and do nothing the rest of the night because having to be happy peppy talkative cheerful me is draining. 

And here they have me scheduled in a couple weeks to work 4/5 shifts in the evening time.
Meaning that it's basically ALL customer service.

And I'm just....expecting bad things to come.

I mean the department seriously struggled when I wasn't there at all to open!
I don't see how having me working evening shifts is going to help at all in keeping the department running smoothly. *exhales* 

Honestly I can basically picture me having to take up all the opening tasks when I show up for my evening shift anyways because they still won't be done when I get there....so like it will be more stress on me still and gah.

I don't get it.

…
Okay.

I do get it. 

I mean, I've been at my job for over six years now.
I know things.
I'm the most experienced person IN my department by a long shot.

And we're heading into the busiest time of year.
Christmas shopping time.
Which means more people in the store.
Which means more customers wanting pets.
Which means more people wanting advice on how to take care of said pets.

And why not have me working during the busiest times of the day....so I can be there to give all that information and advice? 
It makes sense to have the most experienced person there when we'll have the most customers.

It's part of the reason why I worked Saturday evening shifts for so long was to help out in that area.

Especially because we have a bunch of newbies in the store who aren't as knowledgeable as I am. 

But still.

I'm going to suffer. *groans* 
I much prefer to have my couple hours of peace and quiet before the store opens. I don't want to have to come into the store and be at 100% the moment I walk through the doors. 
Gah.

I can only hope it's a typo.
Hope that I can talk the managers into not doing this to me.
But knowing that I am the best and knowing how much they'll need my experience.... *exhales* It's going to be a struggle this month. For sure.

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Nitraproblem

It happens on occasion.

Where there's a 'die off' in my tank.

Where suddenly something 'in the tank' has gone wrong.

And the casualties are my fish.

Such a die off happened while I was away.

Though the signs of it starting were there before I vanished from home to be up at the parent's place. 

So I wasn't quite surprised to see a lot of my fish...missing.

I mean Danios?

Those guys vanish like crazy. 

But I had like...nearly a dozen when I'd left.

And coming back there was only like two left.

And those two vanished when I officially came back home. 

An inventory showed that I was missing quite a few fish.

Which isn't....good. 

I'd gone from nearly sixty to like...around thirty?

That's a major die off. 

To lose almost half my fish?

Which either means that another fish in the tank has gone aggressive....

Or something in the water was off.

While part of it could be the fish....as two of My Angelfish decided to breed the day I officially got back....

I was thinking it was something in the tank.

After all I hadn't been able to properly care for it in almost three weeks.

And while my roomies are good intentioned....over feeding could have been an issue.

Though really it's hard to overfeed in that tank. *shakes head*

In any case.

I managed to do a water test on said tank....

And discovered that overall it was pretty normal.

Except my Nitrates were rather high. Kinda in the "GO FIX THIS NOW!" high sort of way.

Which when Nitrates are high, usually the best course of action is to a) do a 25-50% water change and/or b) add in live plants to help decrease those levels.

Option B was kinda out of the question as I have goldfish and loaches in that tank and both love to uproot my fake plants already.

There's no question that the real things wouldn't last that long. :S

And option A....was tricky to do.

Because I have an automatic gravel vacuum that can connect to a faucet and drain the water for me into a sink without me having to lug buckets of water everywhere.

Except...the only 'faucet' that can connect to the gravel vacuum is outside.

And it's COLD now.

Like it's already snowed once and weather forecasts it snowing again in the next day or so. 

So I was reluctant to use the outside tap....because I didn't want to cause issues.

Which would mean me trekking pitchers of water back and forth between the tank and the bathroom.....Which is a lot of work when you have a 125 gallon tank. *shakes head*

Thankfully though, my roomie said that it was fine to use the outside faucet so long as it was above freezing when I did so.

Which thankfully today the temperatures were slightly warmer. You know in the 40s. So still cold. 

-As it's been raining all day. 

But warm enough that I could gravel vacuum without doing a lot of effort lol. 

Plus. As an extra measure I bought some Nitra-Zorb which should help to decrease the levels of the Nitrates in the tank as well.

We'll see. We'll see.

But at least the fish are looking a bit more perky now that the water has settled a bit.

*fingers crossed* I can nip this in the bud and restock my tank soon.

Until you next see these words;

I'll be watching the leaves.

Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi 

Down I Go

I knew it was going to happen.
I mean. After all the stress and the worrying and the mourning and the changing of the weather....

It's no surprise that I ended up sick.

*exhales*

I mean, the body can only handle so much before it succumbs.

Thankfully I didn't get sick until after everything was said and done.
Until after I got back to work.

Which, maybe work triggered it.
After all I'd been away from customers for nearly three weeks.

In any case.

At least it seems to be a mild cold.

Started with a sore throat and tight chest.
Now has moved to be a congested nose.

So....
Hopefully it doesn't last long.

After all, I still need to survive my work shifts.

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Back At It

In many ways I've been looking forward to going back to work.
I mean, after like 2 1/2 weeks of being away from my job.
I was looking forward to heading back to a more familiar chaos. A more familiar environment.

Of course.
Work being work.
It's kinda like returning to find the building on fire. lol.

Again. Pretty normal.
I've long learned that the department doesn't function as well while I'm gone.
And since this was an absence that was like 2 weeks longer than planned.
I pretty much left my department rudderless right in the middle of the busy season.

Thanksgiving/Black Friday causes many issues.
The holiday causes shipping of animals to get off schedule.
Plus certain cage cleanings aren't done because we don't work Thanksgiving.
And then you come back to the Chaos that is Black Friday ---which thankfully for my green coworkers, seems to not have been as crazy this year. 

So yah.
I was expecting crazy when I got back.

And basically got it lol.
Needless to say, I feel like my coworkers were doggy paddling to stay afloat until I got back. 
*shakes head*

But I'm grateful for the work.
For the chaos.
For the familiar stress as I try to get used to the 'new normal.' 

It's like putting on a pair of well worn shoes.
Or getting back on the bike.

Of course,
There are those moments where I felt like a newbie again lol. *shakes heads*

I mean, I managed to get bit by a hamster yesterday...which hasn't happened in...well forever. 
And then I flooded the department a little when trying to clean fish tanks that had gone...rather green.

So yah. Felt like the greenie for a moment there.

But getting back to work.
It's been nice.
To have something to do.
To take action.
To help others and just...get my mind off things.

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Thankful For--

There's a lot on my mind to be grateful for this Thanksgiving.

But the major thought that keeps running through my mind is that I'm grateful that my family were able to gather together for our 'last vacation of the year' right before Mom passed away.

It was a simple trip.
My parents had enough points left to rent out a condo up a canyon an hour away from their place.
And so they booked it to have a simple getaway. A four-day weekend to relax and spend time with each other.

Admittedly we were all unsure how many of us kids would make it up. 

But thankfully, we all were able to come up for a little while that weekend. To spend a couple of days fully together as a family.

It was a simple time. Mostly spent watching movies and playing games and just... hanging out.

We were on top of the mountains there. Literally. At the tippy top where there was already snow on the ground and I don't think the temperatures got above 30 degrees the entire time lol. 
Most of the time I think we were in the teens actually. 

Which was fine with us.
As we'd gone to hang out.
We didn't feel a need to leave the Condo.
We just were there to relax.

And I'm just grateful that we had that time together.
I'm grateful we all could come up to spend time with the parents.
To spend time with Mom.

To have such memories fresh in our minds at her unexpected passing a couple of days after we got back. 

There's no regrets among us.
No "I should have gone on that vacation." 
Because we all made it up.
We all spent time together.
We all saw Mom.

And I'll be forever thankful for that blessing in our lives. 

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Fuzzy Comfort

A couple of days ago,
I told one of my best friends that I really just wanted a warm fuzzy fox stuffed animal to cuddle with.
Because a) I wanted something to squeeze and hold tight but also b) the fox was my Mom's favorite animal and I wanted to feel like I was hugging her in a way.

So she basically then and there got on her laptop, ordered me 'something' and told me it would be here today. 

That something was a super soft blanket with foxes on it.
But also a fox shaped heat pack with lavender within it. 

When I opened the package I mentioned that the heatpack was lavender scented.
And my Daddoo was like "Really?! I love lavender!" 

I ended up heating up the heat pack and handed it to him.
And he totally relaxed, holding the heat pack close, breathing in the scent. 

And after a little bit, he asked if he could borrow it.
And promptly used it as a pillow against his neck as he rested on the couch.
But then later took it with him into the bedroom to lay down with it.

And within minutes Daddoo had totally conked out. 

Which he only ended up with like 45 minutes of rest in there.

But it felt like he'd finally found a way to rest easy.

As I mean...how can you really have restful sleep or get much sleep at all when your one and only love isn't...well there? 

So the fact that the fox heat pack gave him enough peace of mind with that lavender scent to help him basically fall right asleep?

Is so gratifying.
I'm so thankful.

Daddoo is going to borrow it for the night whenever he decides to go try and get some sleep.

And I really hope it helps him to sleep better and more peacefully than he has the first night.
*fingers crossed*

But seriously.
So grateful to my best friend who took the time to send this comfort and to be inspired to get the little heat pack fox that has already helped my Daddoo more than we could have ever expected.

Lol 
The only bittersweet moment of it all is that Daddoo was sleeping in the bedroom and I had the thought "I should text mom and tell her how well Daddoo is sleeping with the lavender heat pack!!" 

….Unfortunately I don't have the heavenly texting plan available to me. 

It's not like she doesn't know though lol. 
Still. I am going to miss texting her like we usually did. 

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

And My World Shattered

Writing has always been a tool I used to...well express myself.
To vent out frustrations.
Fears.
Confusion.
Moments of happiness.
Moments of thoughtfulness. 
And many many other things.

It's what I use to help process what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, what I'm doing.
It's a way to tell the stories I want to tell and get the point I want to make across.

Things can be easier with writing. 
Especially when one can edit/revise/rewrite as much as they want before anyone else sees your words.

.
..
…
..
.

I've always used writing as a way to help me cope.

But for the past couple of days....

I haven't known what to write.
How to write.

Writing is how I process.
Yet I...I still can't process this--
This tragedy.


Because on November 14th sometime between 7am-8am.
My sister came to work and delivered news that I had hoped and prayed to never hear. 


My Mother Dearest was dead. 


It was a real moment of "I have to be dreaming. Please wake up" 

I mean...I'd just seen her the evening before.
I'd given her a hug goodbye. Told her I loved her, and left the house to go pick up my sister from work so we could return to Happy Valley.

To hear that she...she was gone.

Has been probably the hardest trial of my life so far. 

I just...can't quite process it.
Not yet.
Maybe not for a long time.
It was just...so unexpected. 

My Mother Dearest has gone through so many trials already in her life.
Having faced down two different types of cancer and a lung related surgery...we were all gearing up for her to possibly need another surgery.

As for the past little bit she'd been having problems breathing. Couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded. Couldn't walk to the bus stop without needing to rest.

She'd been seeing the doctor, been visiting the hospital.
Hoping to find out the cause of the shortness of breath, of the tension in her back and the ache behind her eyes. 

Yet the tests she had done so far...were not showing much beyond that the bottom lobe of her left lung was possibly being pushed up in her chest from the scar tissue in that spot where they'd done her first lung related surgery. 

So that's what we were expecting.
That's what we were preparing for.

Another surgery. Another recovery time.
Another trial that would still see Mother Dearest here and well with us. 

None of us expected her to pass away.

Honestly.
It seems impossible.
Your pillar. Your mother. The one who could always go to to talk about everything and anyone whenever you wanted....

Gone. 

I didn't expect to have to go through this grief for at least another thirty years. 

She was too young. Far too young.

And at this moment...
We don't know why.
Why don't know how.

We're still waiting to find out what caused her to be taken from us so soon. 

It's hard.
Hard to process.
Hard to deal with all the consequences of her leaving us for the other side.
Adjusting to the new life we've found ourselves in.

It's going to be hard.
Hard for a long while until we can pull ourselves back up on our feet.

But I'm grateful.
Grateful that my family is so close to each.
So that we have been able to gather and support each other in this time of grief.
That we can stand strong and stand together. That we can move forward as one and that we'll be there for each other from here on out.

I'm grateful for those who have reached to us in our time of grief. To those who have provided for us, who have taken the time out of their days to say they're thinking and praying for us. 

I'm grateful that my family was able to spend this past weekend together. That the stars aligned so that all of us could be together for at least a couple of days watching movies, playing games, and just chatting. That is the memory that holds strongest for us. The days together. 
I'm grateful that there are no regrets. Grateful that we were together and that we'd all spoken to mom. 

I'm grateful despite how much I didn't want it to happen....for how she passed.

It was quick. It was peaceful. She was with my Dad. She was happy. She'd gotten the best night sleep she'd gotten in a while. And I'm pretty sure she was content.

Who knew that a normal conversation would end with "I feel really strange" and her laying down on the bed as if to take a nap?

Passing basically then and there onto the other side of the veil.

Quickly. Peacefully. With my Dad by her side.

I wish we could have brought her back. I wish that the CPR my Dad and then later the paramedics did for her could have revived her.

It wasn't meant to be. 


But I know she's still here.
Still around.
Still watching out for us. 
She'll be around. To guide. To protect. To help. To comfort.



Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi


Note: Posting may be sporadic for the next little while though I am hoping that with this post...it will help. Help my mind to calm. To be peaceful. Help me to once more take comfort in the writing and blogging that I love.

A New Home

A little while ago, a customer called our store to see if we would be able to take their Betta fish.

We don't usually do so, unfortunately.
We only accept animals from people if they've been purchased from us within a certain time frame.

However, the customer told quite the sob story about how they were going through hard times and was the only one taking care of the fish and they no longer wanted to, but no one else would and their financial and living situation were shifting and so....the customer just wanted someone to take it so they wouldn't have to flush the fish down the toilet. :S 

So me...being the bleeding heart that I am.

Said that I could take in the betta fish.
I didn't quite have the room for one.
But figured I could probably place it in my 125 gallon tank at least to give him some space.

The catch was, that the customer had to come into the store that day before I was off.
Because if I wasn't there, it was likely that other coworkers would tell the customer that we didn't take fish.

….

The customer never showed up.

I waited all shift for them to appear.

And they didn't.

I never saw them. 

They didn't come in the next day or the next or the next....

So I figured either the customer had found a different solution...or had accidentally gone to the wrong store.

Since people confuse us for our competitor's store all the time. 

So I just...put the matter from my mind.

However.

It turns out the customer did come into the store to give away their betta fish. 

Apparently.
One night while one of my coworkers was closing,
They had left our feeding cart out on the floor to go grab something.

And in like the minute that my coworker was gone. 

Someone had come in and left a half full one gallon tank of dirty water with a betta in it on that cart.

They came in and left.

I don't know if anyone else saw them.

But when my coworker came back, they found the tank....and took the betta in themselves. :D

Now the little guy is happily swimming around a nice 3 gallon tank with a filter and heater and a snail friend to keep him company. 

^^;; It's a relief to hear that he found a good home. 

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Lil Lizard

So a few days ago, I was talking to the managers in the office when I got a call over the radio for 'Petcare' aka Me as I was the only one scheduled in the department currently to come up to register one.

I don't like going into a situation without knowing why. So I asked what the situation was.

And the cashier came back with the statement along the lines of "A woman received a lizard in the mail and doesn't want it." 

Which. O.o Huh? 
I mean, I'm aware you can order animals like reptiles and get them shipped to your home.

But my work doesn't do that.
And the cashier had made it sound like the woman had received a reptile in a shipment from us....which...again I didn't think we did. We don't ship live animals. 

So I come up to the front.
And there's a woman standing there with a Tupperware container.
That had a little hatchling lizard in it.

Like the thing was tiny. barely the length of my pinky. So like an inch and a half long maybe? 
And the poor creature was missing it's tail. Dropped it somewhere in transportation.

Because the woman hadn't received this tiny lizard that looked like a baby leopard gecko via normal means.

No. She's opening a shop up the road apparently, and inside a box of frames she ordered....her and her coworkers found this little lizard inside.

The little guy had hitched a ride all the way from Texas in that box.

And she had no idea what to do with it.
Her coworkers just wanted to toss it outside to fend for itself which :S :S :S Since it's gotten below freezing this past week...the gecko wouldn't have lasted long at all.

But we don't take in animals. 
We only accept ones that have been bought from us within the past couple of weeks.

So we couldn't officially take the lizard.

Yet. It was a lizard. A baby one at that. Of an unknown species to us. Because even though it looked like a leopard gecko...I had no idea if it actually was one because we never get in our geckos that itty bitty. 

But I figured my brother would know.
And there was a high chance he would be able to take in the little guy.
As he owns a whole collection of reptiles and I figured he could handle this one.

If not....well....I'd either find one of my other coworkers willing to take him, or see if I could convince my roommates to be okay with having a lizard in the house.

So I agreed to take the lizard from the customer.
Then went and promptly texted my brother to see if he wanted it.

He did.
*sigh of relief* 
He likes rescuing animals.

The only slight hiccup was....that my brother was out of town.
And wouldn't be back for a couple of days.

Thankfully, I had understanding roommates and so I set up a temporary enclosure in that old fishtank that I'd scratched up. 
And then brought it up to him to take. 

lol. 
He was caught off guard by how tiny the lizard was.
Like I'd told him it was small.

But he was still thinking the lizard would be twice the size it ended up being. 

^^;

And through a bit of online research, we think it might be a Mediterranean House Gecko. One that only gets to be 5"-6" and does regrow it's tail.

So as long as my brother can ensure the lizard eats well....it should do well in it's new home! 

^^;; *fingers crossed*

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Returned

I missed talking to people. 
Or at people?

Idk. 

I mean. I spend every day at work talking to people. So it's not like I had a shortage of people to interact within the past ten days.

I guess I missed telling stories. 

I mean. It was nice. For a bit. To step away. To not have to think of something to say every day. To be able to focus on other things and other goals for a bit.

But at heart.
I'm a writer.

And not being able to tell my stories....

Yah.
I missed it.
A lot.

Posting my thoughts, telling about funny incidents, musing about little things in life.

I enjoy sharing it.
Enjoy showing people pictures, and different view points and...all that stuff.

I can see, however, how it's good to step away from things.
To unwind.
To realize how much certain sites affect you when you visit them.

Which has really, lead more to a consideration now, of limiting sites, of looking for ways to limit the more negative aspects of various social media platforms and such. 

Overall. It was...an interesting experience. :)  

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi