Migraine Galore

 One of the things that has been causing me stress the last little bit, which kinda is like a cyclical stress....is the fact that my migraines have been returning more frequently.

Which is a pattern I have noticed in the last almost year since I first went to see a doctor about the migraines....is that the more stressed I am...the more headaches I get....which getting headaches also stresses me out especially if I can get rid of them. 

So like....get stressed out get a headache that won't go away get even more stressed out and get more headaches.....it's a vicious cycle really.

Which the main solution is....stop getting stressed out. 

But kinda hard for me to not be stressed when life kinda imploded in all directions.

In any case.

I had a check in appointment back in January to see how I was doing with my migraines. 

And we decided to up my dose of Topirimate to see if that would help me fully get rid of my migraines. 

As it's great that they have decreased....but the goal is kinda to not get any at all.

So I tried increasing my dose throughout January. First jumping up to 50mg and then a week later up to 75 mg when I was still getting migraines.....

Only to find that I was STILL getting migraines and that was kinda the highest safe dosage to take...so I went back to the doctor.....

And I asked to double check my vitamin B12 levels because the last time we checked those in July they were stupid high. Like broke the chart high.

And despite being told that high B12s won't cause headaches....a Google search (which yah who knows how believable those are) state that high B12s can also cause headaches. So too high of B12 or too low of B12 and I could get more migraines.

It was also decided that I would go off of the Topirimate because like...it's not helping the migraines go away so why continue them?

But I wanted to wait and see what my b12s were before making any decisions, though we did talk through a few other options of meds to take. 

And my B12s?

They're still high. Up in the 1000 number range. 

So instead of taking B12 daily I've decided on my own to decrease the amount of that vitamin I'm taking to only twice a week in the hopes that lowering the B12s into a more 'normal' range will mean a decrease in headaches.....

Again with the state of stress I've been in the last couple of months there's other mitigating factors to destress myself that I need to look into as well.

But at least decreasing the B12 intake is something tangible I can do.

Especially when I was told to "stay the course" so to speak and not change anything because otherwise my lab results looked normal so there was no concern. 

So I weaned myself off the Topirimate fully a few days ago. And for now I'm just keeping an eye on my vitamins and my stress and  you know.....ensuring that I have Nurtec on hand to take for those migraines that Advil and Tylenol don't help. 

My next check in is in May so we'll see how everything looks then I suppose and get an idea of maybe potential meds to take if my migraines are still being a pain by that point. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Shut Down

 It's a common phenomena with me, that I write to process things...and when I don't want to process things...I don't write.

And can I saw that there's been a lot....like a lot going on since I last posted. 

Like it felt like every aspect of my life imploded all at once.

Which left me in a high stress state for far too long.

Especially because like most of it was out of my control. So like there was nothing really actionable that I could do to lessen my stress load besides waiting and riding it out. 

I had roommate stressors, family in the hospital with near death experiences, work has imploded on itself on multiple levels, and my migraines once fully manageable had fully returned to like occurring basically every day because increased stress brings those back full force.

So yah.

I was highly stressed. 

And while a lot of it has been mitigated.....

2026 is not doing that great of a job of being a relaxing year. 

So currently my goal is to try and find ways to mitigate my stressors where I can.

Which honestly half of the would probably be solved if I took a nice long vacation away from everything. 

But that's part of the work related stressors in that I can't really escape on a long vacation right now because there's too much up in the air with other managers and other factors out of my control until we get a more firm plan on what others are up to.

So yah....

Mitigation is the goal.

And perhaps I should  work more on trying to not fully shut down when things get too hectic and actually use this blog to post my thoughts so that I can just....vent and get everything out there and not hold onto it as much.

We'll see.....it's a work in progress.

But at least I took the first step tonight with posting this post. So baby steps!

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

How's The Migraines?

 I had a check in appointment yesterday with the doctor. 

About my migraines.

Basically a 'how's it going?" sort of thing.

Which overall things have been pretty consistent....

With the exception of like...the last weekish or so where I've had nearly daily migraines.

But that could be attributed to multiple factors....like coming down from having so much social family/friend time from the holiday, and having to deal with a slightly increased stress load at work, and the sudden barometer changes from multiple storms coming and going, plus like just life being screwy from the holidays....

as the last time I had near constant headaches....was when my work/life/home balance got all screwy back in the summertime right around my family reunion where I too had a bunch of work stress, and family socialization and screwed up my diet and my work/life balance and yah.....

Amazing how routine helps to keep you from getting migraines.

In any case.

Even with the outlying causes explained away.

I did bring up the fact that even though I have seen a major decrease in migraines....I am still getting migraines.

and with using the Nurtec as a guide...since I can only get 8 pills a month through my insurance....I've been having between 5-8 migraines a month....

Which like 1-2 of those tend to be on the 5-6 pain scale while the rest are on the 1-2 irritating level of pain which would be negligible and not worth taking the Nurtec at all except if I don't take the Nurtec then the stupid 1-2 level migraines will last for DAYS on end if I don't take something to stop them. 

So yah. Compared to the pain scale of 11 that I was experiencing.

Everything has calmed down significantly from near daily headaches/migraines to 5-8 a month.

But still ....a handful a month is still probably a handful too many. 

So for the next month we've decided to try upping my dosage of topiramate another step. Since I was taking the lowest recommended dose. We decided to bump it up a step to see if that will help get my migraines down to like maybe 1 a month. Hopefully. We'll see. 

So far it's not boding well since I kinda woke up with a migraine today after taking the increased dose.

But it is the first day. Gotta give the stuff time to kick in.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

And Suddenly. Blood

 It was the most random thing.

So there I was.

Helping customers at the register because we didn't have enough hours to schedule a cashier right at opening and the manager who was gonna cover the first hour ended up having a health issue that had them coming into the store late. 

So I ended up being the manager on register for the first hour.

Which wasn't the worst. Since I'd spent the three hours before that organizing and counting and checking inventory of our shelves and such. So a break of just basically standing there was rather nice. 

So I hadn't been doing anything too strenuous for a while.

Mostly was just checking the inventory of our soda fridge and restocking the shelves in it with whatever sodas we still had in stock and such. 

When I had a customer come in to pick up an order.

Which yah no big deal they do that all the time.

Except the order was cold food.

Which we usually keep in our fridges back on the aisle so you know...the cold food stays cold.

And since the store was still pretty dead since it was still first thing in the morning I quickly walked back there to grab it and head back up to the customer since there was like nobody else in the store...and if there were people in the store they were still shopping and no where near the front.

But as I was walking back to the front from my jaunt a few aisles away.

I felt liquid dribbling from my nose.

Which first thought is always. "Oh snot." 

Because you know, I've been pulling items from overstock and reorganizing and basically messing with dusty shelves for the last few hours. I figured it was just a symptom of dust up my nose and the nose trying to get rid of it or whatever.

Brush my nose against my sleeve to get rid of the annoying sensation since I was carrying the stuff back up to the customer...

And my sleeve is red when pull away.

oh.

Oh no.

Like it's happened before. Rarely. At work. Like rare enough that its really only happens once every 2-3 years where I'll suddenly end up with a bloody nose at work. 

And usually it's sometime in the summer...usually earlier in the summer when it first gets hot and the air gets dry.

But it's been a while since I've gotten a bloody nose at work.

And not usually when I'm in the middle of helping a customer.

So it was a matter of quickly tilting my head back. Hoping the blood hadn't started flowing too freely yet. Giving the bag of stuff to the customer and quickly grabbing a paper towel to shove up my nose after they leave and requesting immediate help at the register so I could step off the floor to get the nose bleed under control. 

Luckily my petcare person was able to quickly step in before any more customers came up so I could vanish into the breakroom until I could get my nose to stop bleeding.

But it was so random. 

Like there was literally not much different I'd been doing today compared to other days of work. For me it was a typical Monday work day. 

But in all honestly today has been weird with...health?

I'm blaming it on the full moon yesterday.

But like. I get a bloody nose. A different manager has an allergic reaction and has to leave early, another one has been dealing with an illness and been feeling sick since the weekend, and another manager came in saying they felt like they had food poisioning.

Like....there's currently only 5 of us managers and 4 of us had some sort of health related incident today. Who knows the 5th one may have been feeling off too and not said anything.

But like....what are the odds? It's so crazy that all that happened on the same day.

It did leave me feeling rather cautious about how I was moving around afterwards though. I didn't want to bend down or turn too quickly or whatever and trigger another nose bleed.

Luckily I didn't.

And hopefully like past times it's a one off. Because tomorrow is going to be BUSY. So I can't really afford to have to stop to take care of a bloody nose.

But I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

So. What Do I Owe You?

 I have to say. 

I'm glad I don't have to deal with billing in my job.

Like the closest I could get is if a grooming customer doesn't pay for their groom. But we just call them and are like "Hey you didn't pay." and if they still don't pay then we put a block on them to prevent them from grooming with us again and call it a day.

But today I decided to drop by the doctor's where I had gotten my CT and MRI scan done when I finally decided to go to the doctor about my migraines a few months ago and they recommended doing a CT and MRI to make sure there wasn't anything going. 

There wasn't.

Which is annoying to get tests that show that there's nothing wrong with you that you then have to pay for. 

Said tests were done in May.

And after like a .... couple of weeksish? I got billed for what I would need to pay for the CT scan that insurance wouldn't cover.

Easy peasy. Paid it right away. Didn't like paying it. But paid it right away. 

And I expected the MRI bill to come pretty quickly after that.

But....it's been radio silence. 

So it's just been hanging over my head.

And I was like....Okay.... maybe the MRI just takes longer to go through insurance? 

I mean I've had an MRI done before where they didn't find anything. But that was done way back when I was in college and I was still on my parent's insurance. So like...no idea how long it took the bill to come through.

I'd kinda put it on the back back back back burner.

Until I'd recently got notified about my dental related claims. 

So I went into my insurance website to check that out. Since I have dental and medical under the same insurer....I was like "Well let me look at the medical stuff too." 

and Medical.....medical showed that the insurance had processed my claim for the MRI....way back at literally the same time the CT scan was processed.

But I hadn't received the bill.

Tried going into the patient portal for my doctors to make sure I hadn't missed an email there....

And nothing. It didn't show I owed anything.

So like.... confusion much?

Like the insurance site gave me the option to pay what it claimed I owed the doctors.....but the doctors had never billed me....and like I didn't want to pay something I didn't owe. 

So I decided to continue waiting....

Until today.

Because I got another notification about when I went to the dentist for my cavities last week....

And still no notification about the MRI. 

So I was like. Well I have the time today and the energy today. So I went by the facility to talk to the billing department just to see what was going on.

Because I had no idea how much I would owe for sure. 

And I didn't want to have the bill suddenly sprung on me if I could help it. 

I also didn't want to have my bill sent to collectors and get hounded for that. Especially if I'd never been notified.

I don't even know how long they wait before they start hounding you for bills.....

In any case.

When I got to the office both receptionists were on the phone with customers who were also trying to figure out their bills....

But from what I overheard both receptionists were dealing with customers who had bills that had actually gone to collectors. 

Which. Oof. 

That sounds like a nightmare. Like apparently the collectors charge interest on the bills.....which is just cruel in my opinion. Like there's a reason why the bills were probably not paid yet. But like one receptionist was saying one customer owed money to them from like 4 years ago. 

But it sounded like the one receptionist was having a better time with the one customer compared to the second receptionist. 

They kinda looked and sounded like they were two seconds away from throwing the computer. They were on the phone with the same customer the entire time I was there. And it kinda sounded like they probably had had to explain the same thing multiple times to the customer. 

Which basically boiled down to "We don't have contact with the collectors. We can't access their information. They can access certain things but don't have power over other things. No you only owe us this amount of money. The interest is owed to the collectors. We don't get the interest money. The collectors do. If we got the interest money WE would be the ones charging you interest and WE would be the ones hounding you for the money the Collectors wouldn't be involved at all."

So yah. I did not envy them that phone call because it just sounds frustrating. On both sides. Because I get not wanting to have to pay more money than you have to....but seriously if the bill has been unpaid long enough to get the collectors on your back.....that's...not great either. 

In any case. 

It does make me wonder how long they wait for a bill to remain unpaid before sending it to collectors. I'm guessing it probably depends on the facility. But who knows. 

Needless to say I was a bit nervous. 

Like I'm pretty sure not paying any bills for like 3 months isn't long enough. 

But it made me all the more eager to make sure that I got my own payments squared away so I would no longer have to worry about potentially owing money for the MRI. 

So when the first receptionist finally got off the phone. I explained my situation. That I hadn't received an MRI bill yet and just wanted to check in and see if I actually owed anything yet or not. 

Turns out. 

I didn't. 

O.o

Why?

Well. 

After insurance I owed a certain amount of money. 

Which surprisingly was only like $80. 

Considering the CT scan I ended up having to pay like nearly $300..... 

It's kinda crazy the difference in how much you owe depending on the procedure with insurance. 

In any case.

I technically owed $80. 

But before the procedure they had had me pay like a $50 fee. 

Which went towards the $80. 

Bringing me down to $30 owed. 

BUT.

I had also paid like a $30 fee for the CT scan? 

(I remember paying a copay before the procedures but don't remember the cost for it. Just was like "Okay makes sense I need to do a copay) 

But then I also paid for what I owed for the CT scan after insurance....without taking into account the $30 I'd paid beforehand. 

Which left me with an extra $30 credit....

Which they had already kinda in their computer system used to cover the rest of what I owed for the MRI scan. 

So the receptionist was like "They kinda already just assumed that $30 was going to the MRI which is why you never received a bill because they already considered you squared away, but here let me make it all official and move that officially over." 

And walla!

So turns out. I didn't owe any money for the MRI. 

YAY.

Like annoying that I had like 3 months of back burner stress that didn't need to be stress.

But yay that I didn't have to spend MORE money at the moment.

Even though $80 is a lot better than like another $200-$300 that I had been expecting. 

Though it does make me wonder like....if I never went back to that doctors place again and I still had that $30 credit....what would have ended up with that $30 credit? 

Would they have just ended up keeping my money? Or would they have eventually sent it back to me with a "oh hey we charged you too much. Oops?" 

Somehow I think it's more the former rather than the latter. *exhales*

In any case.

I'm just grateful that I didn't owe any money. So yay! 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Buy It?

 Had an interesting experience today. 

As I took my car to the dealership today to get an oil change at their shop. 

As my car decided a few days ago to give me the "Service Soon!" warning.

Which was a bit irritating because like...the sticker in my windshield said I still had a good 500 miles to go before I would need one but whatever.

I'd been hoping to wait until the end of the month to get my oil change done.

But I tend to get annoyed with notifications that constantly pop up and don't go away.

Hence making the time today to go get my oil changed. 

Which was fortuitous as on the drive over I got "Low windshield wiper fluid" notified as well. 

And they top that off for free. So yay for that timing! 

In any case.

Went to the dealership I bought my car from to get the oil changed because 'perks'

And while I was waiting for the oil to be changed. 

I received a text message. 

That basically said: "Hey! We see that you just brought in your car to get serviced! Your model of car is in high demand right now. And we'd love to buy your car! Text back Yes to get an estimate!"

O.o

o.O

What?

I mean I drove through the lot to get to the Mechanic aspect....the lot was filled with cars....

Granted I wasn't paying attention to the year each car was if they were new or pre-owned.

But like. 

What?

I mean I've only had my new car for a little over a year. 

So yes it's still in overall good condition. 

But I know that the value of cars depletes rather quickly once it's bought and taken off the lot.

So like....odds are high that they would not offer me enough money to even pay off what I still owe on my car. 

So unless they were offering me more than the current value of my car. Or like offering to let me switch my current payment plan to a new car or let me just get a new car right out?

Yah. Not likely.

More than likely it's just a way to make me spend more money because I'd have to get a 'new' car and said 'new' car may be more expensive than what I got my car for originally. 

So yah no.

Like thanks for being willing to buy my car. 

But also like No?

I'm not the sort of person to whimsically just switch out my cars at the first opportunity.

With bigger purchases I tend to use them until they break.

I'm currently planning to keep my new car for at least 20 years.

I mean I had the Tracker for 23 years before selling it.

I'm expecting to keep my current car for just as long if not longer. 

It's so random though.

It has me curious.

Like how high is demand actually? 

Are people really buying cars that quickly?  I didn't notice many people in the store looking at cars while I was sitting around waiting. And I assumed the couple other people I saw inside who weren't workers were people who too were waiting for their car to be finished with whatever they were doing. 

Regardless.

At least I got my oil changed!

And everything else looked good according to the dude I checked out with. So yay! Yay for doing well so far with my new car!

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the Day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

All My Ducks in a Row

 Soooo back in like .... May? Yah May. 

I finally got all my ducks in a row from like two years of crazy (and maybe beyond that) to actually go to see a Doctor about my Migraines. 

Mostly because they had gotten much more worse and much more constant.

Like literally I was getting a daily headache it felt like.

Though it was hard to tell if it an actually headache or like irritation at work with the radio chatter.

Regardless. I was getting headaches nearly daily. 

And the nuclear migraines were reaching the point where I was throwing up nearly every time I had a nuclear one. 

And the nuclear ones had reached a pain scale that Excedrin was NOT touching.

Like I literally burned myself on my neck from taking too many showers in a row/putting heat packs on my neck to try and soothe the ache away.

Which if I'm hurting myself...that's a bad sign.

But finally in May I had the time off from work and all the other crises in my life settled to the point where I could tackle the migraines issue.

Since the migraines I've been dealing with since like...what?? High School? It's a well known beast I've had to deal with. So dealing with it has been on the back burner for a long time.

I figured the best way to start out would to get my blood work done.

Since I haven't had an official panel done in like.....ever. 

Just to see if there were any visible issues/deficiencies going on that I could tackle.

Especially since I had two family members recently diagnosed with Anemia. I figured that more than likely I was low on iron in my blood and that I would need to fix that.

So I finally got to the doctor.

Got blood work done.

But also got a CT and MRI scan done as well.

Good news the CT and MRI came back normal so woot! Nothing wrong there. 

But my blood work?

Good news is my iron levels were normal.

Which is impressive because like...I don't eat a lot of red meat. So I've always kinda thought I'd be low on them.

But I wasn't!

I was low on a couple other Vitamins though. 

In a bad way. 

I was low on my Vitamin B12. Being at 143 ....when the normal low side of low is like 213.... 

And I was very stupid low on my Vitamin D. 

The normal low side of low is 30.

My levels when I did the blood test.....showed that I was at 8.

EIGHT. 

Yeesh.

And surprise surprise. Being low in EITHER ONE can contribute to more headaches. *shakes head*

So my doctor told me to get some vitamins for the D and B12 and start taking a specific dose daily to get those levels up.

But also prescribed me a Migraine preventative medicine. Topiramate. To also take to see if that could stop the migraines from coming or being as bad. 

Which good news!

It has helped a lot! 

With the combination of vitamins and meds my minor headaches have all but vanished and if they do occur they tend to be over and done with within a couple of hours. 

It's been amazing. Like I've encountered so many situations at work where I keep thinking "Wow. I'm annoyed. If this had been before I took my RX meds I would have had a migraine by now...but I don't have a migraine. I can be annoyed without getting a migraine. This is great!!" 

And if I do get a migraine...the pain levels have usually been half strength of what they have been. Which considering how much pain I've been in has been great!

It has been weird though because with the RX med, Excedrin doesn't play nice with it. So no more Excedrin for me.

Which is so crazy considering that was like my main 'go to' for trying to stop the headaches.

and now I can't take it because it doesn't interact well with it.

In any case.

I was trialing through all that the past couple of months. 

And had a recheck last month to see how I was doing.

Had another blood test to check my D and B12 

And good news! My D is back in the normal range! Woot!

But my B12? Oof. It went from being too low to stupid high. 

Like the result read >2000 

:S :S :S 

Which lead me to wonder....

As in the couple of weeks leading up to the recheck appointment...my headaches had started increasing again. 

I'd first chalked it up to being off routine. Because I'd had a Family Reunion I was in charge of, Daddoo was in town visiting, a couple days on work and then another long weekend off for my birthday.

So like my normal schedule was all screwed up. So I figured that may have contributed to the headaches.

But with the high B12? Yah...maybe that was the cause.

As I've been off the B12 for almost a month now and the headaches have once again decreased again.

So definitely need to watch how much B12 I'm taking to make sure my levels don't get too high again.

But with that recheck I also learned something else. 

Because with headaches if they're normal headaches...they should go away if you take Tylenol or Advil.....

But if they don't....then it's a Migraine and I need different meds to get rid of those.

So the doctor this time gave me a couple trial meds to try....

And I ended up getting a RX for one called Nurtec.

And oh wow is that RX AWESOME.

Like I've used it a handful of times now for those migraines that will JUST NOT GO AWAY.

And it literally will get rid of the migraine within the Hour. 

It's been just....wow. 

Like Today.

I ended up with one of those nuclear feeling migraines last night. The ache behind the left eye the tension in the neck. One that would leave me miserable for hours on end and recovering for another two days afterwards.

And while the pain was lesser at a 5-6 scale.

It was much stronger than the 1-2 pain scale I've been dealing with.

And like. The Nurtec took it from a 6 to a 0 in like an hour.

I had ENERGY.

I could go out and DO THINGS.

Which considering I had to go to work at 5 am this morning....it was really good that it took effect before we opened for the day so that I could focus at my job and then go do things after work.

And I'm just grateful.

And kicking myself for taking so long to go get checked out to see what's been going on with me.

Because it's exhilarating to be able to take medicine for a migraine and have it actually WORK and for me to be FUNCTIONAL soon after it takes effect. 

I'm sure there's still going to be tweaks down the road as we continue to figure out how everything is working.

But I've been much happier and have found much more energy this past handful of months than it's felt like I've had in years.

Which is probably half the reason why I've started blogging again honestly.

I actually have the energy to WANT to write and BE ABLE to write a bit again. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Oh Look. More Stress

 It's been....kinda a rough week in most areas of my life.

And it kinda felt like it all came to a head yesterday.

Which isn't surprising when you consider yesterday was the full moon.

But it just felt like...nothing was really going my way yesterday.

First of all, I was still worrying about next week's plans. Trying to figure out arrangements with work and family to see if I could make it to the funeral. 

And like...I literally slept until my alarm went off...which considering I worked a mid shift yesterday...was rather impressive. I think I slept like a good 10 hours. Which yah, I get that oversleeping can happen when you're stressed. But ugh. 

Didn't think much on it....

Until I was trying to head out the door.

And I could not find my keys.

As I usually always keep them in my jacket pocket or by my purse so I know where they are.

They weren't there.

And like. I knew that I had them recently. Because I drove home from the dentist the day before.

So like. Obviously my keys would be SOMEWHERE in the house.

Though paranoid me wondered if I had somehow dropped them outside...and like maybe someone picked them up? What if someone was going to ROB my house because I lost my keys?!?!

Plus like...HOW could I get to work if I didn't have my keys?!

That was easy. Because I had an extra car key I could use. 

And after like a quick search of my yesterday clothes and my normal spots to leave keys...I had to call it because like...I'd recently been reprimanded for being "over 5 minutes late 6 days in January" 

And wasn't really in the mood to make it a 7th. 

So I left and sent a message to my roomies to keep an eye for my keys.

....

They didn't see them.

So the entire time I'm at work there's this niggling worry in the back of my head. Wondering WHERE those keys are. Like WHERE would I have set them down? I didn't see them outside. But who knows if someone picked them up. But maybe it's like my card the other day and I left it in a bag? I know I dropped them at least once...but was that at the house? It had to be at the house as I moved my car right before heading inside for the night. So like WHERE were they?

This added to the already stessful stress of trying to figure out if I could get my coworker to cover my Tuesday shift. But said coworker was out on vacation. So while I texted to see if they'd be willing to switch shifts....

They didn't respond right away.

Plus. I hadn't heard back yet from my Daddoo. So I was worrying over how he'd take the news knowing we'd lost another family member. and wondering just WHEN he would see my messages. (The answer was midmorning today) and WHAT plans I could make. Because like I couldn't schedule a hotel room until I knew if I would be able to drive up Tuesday or not. Because if my coworker couldn't switch shifts than I might have to same day drive it so I wouldn't need a hotel. And if my Dad decided to join me... would he drive or would I drive? But he's just getting back from a long vacation so would he really want to turn right around and head back out after being home like less than 24 hours? And if he decides not to go would he let me borrow his car for the multi-hour drive? Would he be okay with trading cars so he'd have my car for the 36ish hours I'd need the car? 

So yah.... most of this stress was just things out of my control.

I had to WAIT on others. Which was stressing me out. Because I wanted to have a PLAN. And like I was also making soft plans with an Uncle who was trying to figure out his own plans for getting to the funeral...but would those plans change if my dad said yes? If he said no?

So yah. Mentally I was working myself up to a frenzy.

And then we got the 'lovely' (NOT) news that our closing petcare had called out sick.

Which is....So. Very. Frustrating. Because we had a different closing petcare call out Tuesday meaning I had to close Petcare then. And like....literally NO ONE could come in to help cover the evening shift. 

Two of them had tests they were taking. Two were out of town. Two were at other jobs. 

Like...I just kinda wanted to call it quits right there. 

Because I'd managed to trigger myself a migraine at work. And with Every. Single. Person. Saying. NO. that meant that I would be the only one available to stay later. As I was supposed to get off two hours before the store closed. But if I left early then that would just leave my other manager and the cashier in the store.

And like...it's been known to get busy around the point the mid manager leaves.

PLUS we had the fish shipment expected and with the rainy weather we weren't certain if it would arrive early or not (it did thankfully) 

So yah. I was suffering.

Mostly from the Migraine. But also from just stressing myself out. 

But also being soooo done with my coworkers. Like what even is the point of having people working if they can't come in and help out when others call out. WHY Do they keep calling out?!!?!? I don't get it....like I understand I tend to stay healthier than everyone else....besides my constant migraines. Like I literally only call out sick like maybe thrice a year? And half the time I end up leaving early instead after working a half shift and calling it quits. 

Like my Head Manager today was telling me that we already have a couple of workers who've basically already used up their sick time and vacation time for the ENTIRE YEAR and JANUARY isn't OVER YET.

I. Do. Not. Get. It. 

And I'm so freaking tired of having to take on the burden of covering everything because no one can come in. 

Like I really just want to take an entire month off and leave the store to burn because I need a break. I'm so over it.

In any case.

Migraine. And I ended up working an hour and a half over my end time. Leaving only half an hour before close. 

But minor good news is that I did get confirmation from my coworker that we could switch shifts. Which allowed me to at least book a hotel room for the night. So I had one stressor off my plate. 

But the rest of the day?

Yah....no.....I did find my keys once I got home -They were buried under some pillows on the couch-

And I did manage to get the migraine to go away after a bit of sleep.

But like....it just felt like all the stresses came crashing down on me yesterday.

I'm hoping since I now have firmer plans for the week in mind that things will be calmer.

But we'll see.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Off To The Dentist

  I had a dentist appointment this morning.

Which thankfully, was only for a cleaning this time. 

Because it felt like I went to the dentist far too much last year for root canals and crowns and fillings and such.

So it was nice to go in just to get the teeth cleaned and looked at.

Which of course means that you have that little worry in the back of your mind of "What problems are they going to find this time?" Like How many Cavities do I have now?

Because like...2023 was a rather stressful year for me. And stress is well known to play havoc on the body. So I was expecting that to show up in my teeth this visit.

But surprisingly. Not so much.

Like...my main issue was that my gums were still bleeding a lot. But considering my fraught relationship with flossing...that's not too surprising. Though maybe if I actually make more of an effort to be consistent with that I can get my gums to stop bleeding every time. 

Time will tell with that.

But otherwise?

Nothing wrong with my teeth.

Sure there's a handful of 'watches' on my back molars where there's spots that have 'potential' to become cavities. 

But overall. Good visit. The hygienist was like "Keep doing what you're doing!" So yay! 

So that was one less stress off my shoulders. Knowing that I don't necessarily need to worry about having to go to the dentist until my next cleaning in six months. Woot!

lol and of course, having such a good experience at the dentist means I should reward myself right?

So what better than going to the grocery story and buying a ton of soda and candy!?!?

XD XD XD Lol don't worry I bought other things as well. But they had good sales on my favorite treats and drinks this time. So I couldn't resist. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Misplaced

 I had a moment of panic the other day while I was out running errands.

As I was making my last 'shopping' stop in that I was filling up my borrowed car with gas before returning it to my sibling.

And as I pulled out my wallet to grab my card to pay for gas.

I noticed a different card I'd used earlier was missing from its slot.

And the last place I remembered using that card was 45 minutes away where I had picked up food.

And I had a moment of panic. Wondering if I'd dropped it there.

As I knew the cashier had returned the card to me. But I'd dropped my phone as I was grabbing my food and while I hadn't noticed anything fly out...maybe it had? Was my card now STOLEN!? Did it end up on the ground and someone else picked it up?! 

And like...was there anyway I could check? Would I be able to call the place and have them look for it? Would it still be there? Would it be long gone?

Still.

Before I fully panicked. I finished getting the gas.

And then went to check the bags I had in the car from all the errands.

And thankfully. Mixed in with the receipt from the food place...was my card.

Woot!!! It wasn't lost!! 

I guess in my hurry to grab everything I'd just stuck both receipt and card in the bag with my food and left.

So I'm grateful that the card was still with me.

But oof. That did not help my stress levels at all.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Over Did It

 There's probably a lesson here somewhere about over extending myself....

But I do get rather tired of getting headaches on my day off. Like...it's my day off. I should be able to relax and enjoy it in peace. 

Yesterday....yesterday I was trying to be stubborn and push through the migraine I ended up with in the morning because I was woken up a bit too suddenly with text from a friend after not enough sleep.

And like....I probably should have gone back to bed for a little bit longer. Try to rest the headache away.

But I was...anxious. 

Because I've been wanting to return my borrowed car to my family for days now. And while yesterday was supposed to have been quite stormy...the weather wasn't actually that bad in college town. 

And radar was showing that the storms would be fading in the afternoon with mostly just like...light drizzles expected if anything. The major snow was gone for now.

And since I don't quite trust the borrowed car in the snow...and since my roomie was available after she got off work to come grab me from my family's house....I figured yesterday was the opportune moment to go and do that. To go see Family and at the same time. Succeed in getting their car dropped off without getting caught in storms.

Except...I tried to push myself too hard. Do too many things.

Like...I often have said that like I have 'one social activity' in me. So trying to do multiple social things in one day? Heh...yah it was a recipe for disaster. 

I can admit that. 

As I had the soft plan to go by the mall before heading over to family to check out a specific store for their sales. And since I was there I thought I would drop by the food court and get food from a couple places there that I've been craving.

It was also instigated with my sibling being like "Yes, I can have you come over, but could you bring me Fresh Squeezed OJ from Jamba?" Because that's a 'hey this helps me feel better' drink for my sibling.

And since that was near the mall I was like "Sure!"

So first I grabbed that drink and one for myself. Then dropped by the mall to look at the store -didn't buy anything- before grabbing food for myself, my sibling, and for my roomie...and then drove all the way over to sibling's house...

And the entire time I'd been fighting a headache. One that would come and go and come and go.

And it....just kept getting worse.

To the point where by the time me and the roomie got home....I was feeling quite nauseous from the migraine pain. To the point where I actually was impressed I managed to make it home without throwing up because the car lights were agonizing and the sounds were agonizing and the motion of driving was agonizing.

So yah...I basically died last night after I got home. Took a shower to try and relax the muscles and then spent the night tossing and turning as the migraine off and on woke me back up throughout the night.

So yah....fun times. So much...fun times.

And honestly....I probably shouldn't have pushed myself so much.

Delayed my leaving the house so I could take a nap.

Maybe gone less places. 

Stopped trying to do too much all at once.

Because it's sooooo so miserable to end up with a major migraine that will not go away no matter what you do so you kinda just have to suffer until it's grip leaves you.

Which makes going to work the next day (today) even more 'fun'

Thankfully I had a mid shift so I could sleep in a bit and I did manage to make the headache go away during my shift. So yay.

But work itself had it's own trials today.

Mostly in the I felt rather weak and shaky from the migraine as my stomach was unsettled enough that I haven't eaten much most of the day. So that left me feeling less confident in my 'do things' abilities.

And when a stupid ship from store order comes in with EIGHT 50lb bags that have to be pulled off the shelf and then put into boxes to ship to the customer....yah no. 400lbs lifted multiple times? Yah. I could only manage it once. 

And beyond that minor hiccup the day was actually pretty mellow. Until like the last hour or so of my shift...when a good 20 orders dropped that needed to be picked and packed before the end of the day.

And unfortunately we ran out of one of box sizes within easy reach.

Which meant that I would need to grab the forklift to get the pallet down from the steel....

Only the pallets of boxes weren't labeled. So I had no idea which size was on which pallet.

So I delayed grabbing them down as long as possible, working on orders that required other sized boxes first.

But then right as I was supposed to be off....our Fish Truck finally showed up. So I had to unload that.

And then I still needed to grab the boxes down because my other closing manager hasn't really been trained on the fork lift yet. So they wouldn't be able to finish the pack orders unless I grabbed down the boxes.

*exhales*

And of course the size that I needed....was on the LAST pallet I checked.

And by this point I'm tired. I'm ready to go home. I've been still recovering from the migraine. And I'm getting irritated that I'm not off yet. And that means I'm getting sloppy.

Which is rather stressful to be at that point of "I don't care anymore" while you're trying to work heavy machinery and lift heavy product off steel that's squished between other pallets....

Like I nearly knocked one pallet off the steel because I misjudged the distance of the pallet I was trying to put back and pushed the other pallet so it was crooked.

Which made it it's own trial to get that down without it falling off the steel but also get it onto the prongs of the forklift....

And it was soooo soooo SOOO frustrating to do all that work to bring the crooked pallet down to have it be the WRONG SIZE. UGH.

ANd of course. OF COURSE It's the LAST pallet that I needed to check.

*exhales*

In any case. Because of everything....I clocked out 45 minutes late.

Which was even more frustrating because my other manager had offered to have us start lunches early so that I could leave early though I declined the need to leave early as my headache was better by that point.

But I just couldn't help but think. "I could have been off 45 minutes ago."

*exhales*

Oh well....I was 10 minutes late today because of my migraine. So it will probably even up a bit over the rest of the week.

Still...I'm glad to be home. Not looking forward to the morning shift tomorrow...but at least I'm home for now. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Finally Back

 I have to say. It does feel sooooo nice to have my car back.

Like. There was that moment of "how do I drive this thing?!" paranoia because like....it's easy to get used to driving other cars....and then when you go back to your old one it's like...having to relearn all the quirks again.

Which is so disjointing because like...back in October I ended up not driving my car around for like half the month because my godparents were in town and they rented a car and I ended up driving that car for most of the time to get them places because they really do not like driving the highway corridor between College Town and Home Town. ^^;; 

In any case.

It's always the brakes that gets me when I start driving my car again.

Because like.........i honestly don't know how to explain it. But there's a different amount of reaction to pressing the brake in my car compared to other cars.

So that first moment of driving from the shop to get back home...yah I was a bit more tense. Hyper aware of every little jerk and noise and movement the car made. Because like. I just got it fixed! I DO NOT want it breaking again. So I have to be like "Is this normal for my ancient car? Is THIS normal? What about THIS?!"

But thankfully it was only that first drive back that had me reacting that way lol.

The last few days of driving my car about?

It's felt so good. So nice to have my car back. To be back in familiar territory and be able to 'relax' a bit more about driving around in the snowy weather.

So yay.

Yay that I have my car back. So happy. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Drive Thru??

 It's been different driving a car car around the last couple of weeks.

Mostly because car cars are lower to the ground compared to my own mini suv. And it's taken a little bit of getting used to (and a couple bumped heads when I forget to duck low enough to get into the car).

But like...driving wise...I thought I'd notice a more...noticeable difference in driving a car that's lower to the ground compared to my own. 

And yet...I hadn't really noticed anything.

Which is weird.

Because part of me feels like I should be sitting on the ground and everything will be 'too high' compared to my car.

Which is part of the reason why I haven't gone out to eat the last couple of weeks I've been borrowing my family's car.

Because I didn't want to deal with the drive thru.

Because despite knowing that car cars go through drive thrus all the time.

I just...didn't want to have to deal with pulling up to the window and being like....lower than the drive thru window.

As I'm used to being pretty even with it....

Though I honestly haven't paid attention before now. Maybe I sit slightly below the window anyways? Who knows.

In any case.

I didn't want to have to deal with 'reaching up' to get things from the drive thru so....I just haven't gone through any drive thrus.

It hasn't been that big of a deal. I've been low enough on energy after work that I haven't wanted to deal with more people. So I tend to head straight home to eat food there.

But the past couple of days...I just haven't had the energy to make anything. And nothing sounded good enough to make either. 

Which ...surviving off of toast, granola bars, and candy/chocolate/cookies is not a good recipe for long term health. 

As I have noticed that my body seems to get more achy the less healthy I eat for longer periods of time. 

So I am trying to make a conscious effort to eat more 'real food'

But ugh. It's difficult. Especially when I don't have the spoons to cook.

And since I'm borrowing a car....I haven't really wanted to drive it more than I have to. Mostly it's been "go to and from work." and the occasional stop at the grocery store. 

Especially with it snowing near constantly for the past week....I definitely haven't wanted to drive in my borrow car more than I needed to because I wanted to minimize my risks of somehow getting into an accident. Because I don't know this car in bad weather and if the roads are covered in snow I'm not detouring anywhere if I can help it.

But today...today I reached my limit of "I can eat at home." because I honestly couldn't think of anything I wanted to eat at home. 

But it had been snowing like....all day. Which with snow sticking in parking lots and such...I really didn't want to drive anywhere I didn't have to.

But thankfully. 

The storm cleared up for long enough for the roads to be mostly clear and the parking lots to not be too nasty.

To the point where I felt like "Yes, I can go get myself food before I go home."

So I went to a place I actually haven't actively gone to on my own before.

I went to Noodles & Co. 

Which, my roomies tend to get it all the time and I have ordered from there through them enough to know what I wanted.

And what I wanted was a meal that I could have for longer than a meal.

And the Noodles food is often good for 2 or 3 meals depending on how hungry I am.

So I dropped by the one nearby my work.

-No drive thru there so I didn't have to worry about 'reaching up' to get things from the drive thru window. Nope. I just needed to worry about parking in a spot where I wouldn't get stuck in the snow.

So yay success.

I got food for multiple meals and got to drive home safely without worrying about running into problems in the snow.

Still. 

I'm looking forward to getting my actual car back.

I'll probably celebrate by going through a drive thru lol.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Nearly There

So I mentioned a few days ago that my car needed to be fixed after it started acting weird Christmas Night right? Right.

Well. I've been waiting patiently for word from the Mechanic that my car was fixed.

I'd been hoping that they'd get to it much quicker than their original 8th-12th time frame. Especially because winter decided to finally hit this week with constant snow storms. 

Which made me miss my car even more because I have the option of 4WD in my car while the current car I'm borrowing doesn't. Which made driving home last night on icy roads....fun.

In any case. I wasn't surprised that they didn't get it fixed before this week.

But the past couple of days I've been fighting down the paranoia. 

Like. I dropped off my car after hours. Did they even get my car? Was it stolen?! Could they not read the phone number I left on their little 'after hours form' and therefore couldn't contact me?! 

And like...on their paper I said "by the 12th" since that was the last day of their deadline...but like...would they be able to meet it?

So I'd been debating the last couple of days whether or not I should call the mechanic today -on my day off- just to....you know....check in. See what progress they'd made on my car. See if they'd even started working on it. Or if they would actually get it done by Friday.

I didn't have to call them today though.

No.

Because they called me.

Which was great!

Great to hear that they were working on my car today and that it should be done by the end of the day.

Which YAY!!

I could finally after like TWO WEEKS get my car back.

I mean there was a minor hiccup to their first call. 

In that the receptionist said that the mechanic who was replacing my CV Axels discovered that the lugnuts to my tires were all rusted. 

And they were concerned about that. Because if I got a flat tire or something...it would make fixing the tire much more difficult if the bolts were rusted out. 

And the receptionist said that they had lugnuts for the front tires, though the back tires they'd have to order those in.

I'm more concerned about the front tires and want my car back ASAP. So I told them just to do the front tires. 

Will it come back to bite me that I didn't get the lugnuts changed for the back tires? Probably. But I just want my car that I'm used to driving in the snow with back.

So yah. Getting new CV Axels. Getting new lugnuts on the front tires. I should have my car by the end of the day! Right?!

Wrong.

*exhales*

I was called again with another issue.

Which the receptionist was rather apologetic about it. And honestly I'm not surprised. We both know my car is OLD. Like. It's not ancient. But it's turning 24 years old this year. So it's getting old and pieces are rusting out and breaking and such.

So I wasn't surprised, but definitely disappointed, to hear more issues popping up while they're trying to fix my car. 

But still. The cost of fixing everything they're finding is still lower than the original cost the other mechanic place told me. So I'm taking the win here.

In any case, the second call was to tell me that one of the seals...I honestly can't remember at this point. But it's one near the tires involving differential fluid. And the mechanic found that this seal was cracked and...I think they said the fluid within it was gone. Or "had been empty at one point" which is why they think it broke.

But. The receptionist -I don't know their official title, but they do all the research in finding parts for cars and such- was able to track down that particular seal for my car. Which again because it's an old car...is becoming a bit more...difficult to do.

The only downside? Was that the part was in the next valley over. 

And I'm assuming they're having it shipped to their shop. 

And the receptionist was like "It should arrive this afternoon. I'm still hopeful that we'll get your car finished by the end of the day."

Heh.

I wasn't. 

Because it's been snowing ALL DAY. 

Sure there's been periods of calm where the snow has lightened up or stopped entirely for a moment. But overall. It's been snowing all day. And snow falling means snow on the roads means slower travel means that the odds were low that I would get my car back before they closed for the day since they closed around dinner time.

I tried to keep my hopes up.

But yah no.

I didn't receive another call today before they closed.

Which means my car won't be ready until tomorrow....

No idea if they finished fixing my car today and it was just too late to come pick it up...or if the part hasn't arrived yet and they'll need to finish fixing it tomorrow.

But at this point. I'm not expecting to get my car back until Friday.

Mostly because I work a midshift tomorrow which means I don't get done with work until after the mechanic place has closed for the day. And odds aren't high that they'll call me in time for me to go get the car before I have to go to work.

Though they could surprise me. I could get a call at 9 in the morning that it's ready and I'll have time to race down and grab my car.

We'll see.

But it's soooo hard. Having that near victory in your grasp only for it to slip through your fingers.

Still.

At least I know they're finally working on my car. I know the end is in sight.

Just have to wait a little bit longer.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

In This Weather?

 It's been snowing off and on this past week. 

Which I'm rather mixed feelings about.

Usually I love the snow. And with the absolutely winterless winter we've been having here. (No white Christmas, how disappointing) I've been looking forward to finally having snow on the ground even if it's falling after December. 

However.

That was before my car broke down. 

Which I suppose it's good that we didn't have a wintery winter because who knows if that would have...well made things more problematic on my end driving in the snow.

In any case. My car ended up having weird steering issues Christmas Night. On the literal home stretch before I got home from spending the day from family.

And what should have just been a weird alignment issue turned into both CV Axels needing to be replaced. 

Which ouch.

Glad those didn't fully break apart on the freeway or something but oof. I feel like I dodged a bullet there by near centimeters. I was afraid one of the wheels was going to fall off moving it from one mechanic place (that was $$$ to fix my car) to a different mechanic place (that's $$ to fix my car) 

In any case.

Thankfully, I have wonderful family who were willing to let me borrow their car until mine can get fixed. (Sometime next week is the timeline.) 

But that means I'm driving a car that I...well I'd only driven once before a couple of years ago.

And that was in GOOD weather.

And thankfully for the first little while of borrowing this car, we've had good weather here. It's been cold. But no storms to worry about driving in.

Of course that changed this week with actual snow falling here in the valley. 

And that....that was concerning.

Because I'm used to a car that can switch into 4WD if needed. But the car I'm borrowing? Doesn't have that. It's just front wheel drive.

So understandably I've been nervous this entire week about getting stuck on snow/ice slick roads.

Hasn't happened yet *knock on wood* But the past couple of days of snow have had the roads turning...rather icy.

But it's definitely made me miss my car. Like I'm cautious in bad weather regardless. But I do miss that extra insurance of 4WD helping me out if the roads get worse. 

*fingers crossed* that the snow fall remains light enough here in the valley until I can get my car back.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Achy Achy Achy Achy Achy

 I've said it a million times before and I'll probably say it a million times more in the future.

But.

Headaches.

Are. 

The. 

Worst.

My brain is dead. Gonna go crash once more in the darkness.

-Sarnic Dirchi

Pain Flare

 Gotta love it when your body decideds to be weird.

*exhales*

I was woken up unexpectedly this morning at like 530 in the morning by a burning pain in my right big toe.

Like right at the joint to bend the toe.

Honestly, having been startled awake by it, I was halfway thinking I had somehow broken it in my sleep.

Which would be amazing considering that like....there were only blankets at the bottom of my bed, so unless I'd somehow tangled my toes in it and yanked hard....there would be no explaination for my my toe suddenly felt on fire.

Like it was excruciating even attempting to bend it. 

And I couldn't even see anything wrong with it. Like...maybe there was a slight discoloration on the joint area? 

But after carefully massasing the area a bit....the pain began to subside and by the time I rewoke up later in the morning....it wasn't in pain at all. And the toe looked normal enough.

Though the toe and my foot have felt a bit....achy for most of the day....I can't quite tell if it's an actual achiness or if it's just paranoia achiness because I've been focusing on my foot it makes me more aware of it than I usually am.

But yah.

It was just the weirdest and painful thing to wake up to.

Especially because I can't think of anything I could have done yesterday to cause the flare up hours later into the next day. *shakes head*

The body is weird. So weird.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Back in the Chair Again

 One of the dreams I hate to have is the one where there's something wrong with your teeth. Like the dreams where one cracks, or one falls out, or multiple fall out....those sort of dreams. 

And they used to really stress me out.

Key word. Used to. 

I mean. They still kinda stress me out. Those dreams where my teeth fall out.

But at the same time I've kinda reached this point of apathy? Like. Oh no. I've lost some teeth. Guess I'll have to get to the dentist to get that fixed. It's just all....pointless really. (Though I am still relieved to wake up and realize that my teeth are fine and I don't have to go to the dentist)

And I don't know if it's just because I've had the dream often enough for it to no longer be super stressful for me....or if I've had enough 'problems' with my teeth in real life that when something does go wrong with my teeth in the dream I'm like "Whelp. I knew this would happen eventually." Sort of thought process.

Who knows.

In any case.

I've been having actual real life issues with my teeth recently. Nothing crazy. Just like....fillings failing and such. 

But like it's getting annoying because the past...3 months? 4 months? I'm not sure. But it feels like at least once a month I've had to call up the dentist and be like "Heeeeyyyyy. I need to come in." Because I've had a filling break or get loose, or a sudden rough patch show up. 

And it's annoying because like my routine hasn't changed....so like why now? Why the constant teeth problems?

I'm guessing it's just stress is getting to me or something. I mean I hold a lot of tension in my shoulders and neck and that has often radiated to my jaw and sinuses causing some aching in my mouth and such.

So like....stress based issues? Maybe I'm just tense in general and clenching my teeth in my sleep or something?

Who knows.

In any case.

I had to go to the dentist again today.

Because tooth Ten is being a dramatic drama queen and causing me problems.

Like....a tiny piece chipped off (on the side where 9 is) so I went in to get that smoothed out/ built up so my tongue would stop playing with it and the dentist warned me that because it was such a tiny area on a biting surface chances are high that piece wouldn't 'stick' and would 'get lost' at some point. And I was like *salutes* Okay.

Only to have like the other side of that same tooth by 11 ended up with this rough patch where a filling had some sort of issues....and when the dentist went in to fix that discovered that both 10 and 11 had slight cavities underneath the old fillings that needed to be fixed. 

So I was like. Cool fixed that up.

Only to have the tiny piece on 10 that I originally fix vanish a like...two weeksish ago? And I was like "Whelp. Dentist said that would happen. And it's not too rough right now. I won't worry about getting that fixed again, though maybe I'll have him smooth it out when I go in for my cleaning in a couple of months."

Only two nights ago as I was flossing that area as it was a bit rough....the floss caught, not in the gap between 9 and 10 but in a tiny fissure on tooth ten and as I tried to figure out what was going on....noticed that a tiny piece of the tooth -aka a filling-- was wiggling. 

And like. That's not good. And I didn't want to accidentally make it worse as messing a little bit with it I could feel pressure on the tooth which could probably cause problems if I bite into something wrong and it catches wrong on the failed filling and suddenly I don't have a tooth any more. (dramatic I know but remember I have dreams where this has happened so it's plausible to my brain) 

So yah.

I had to go back in to the dentist today to get that looked at and I figured while I was in there I would also have the dentist look at tooth 5 because near the gum line on the cheek side I could see a ...divit of sorts right along that edge. (that appeared like 3 days after the last dentist visit where we fixed teeth 10 & 11) And like it wasn't painful. Just a slight rough patch my tongue (and sometimes cheek) could feel. But if I was already going in to get the more major issue fixed on 10, I figured why not kill 2 birds with one stone and get tooth 5 fixed as well.

And tooth 5 was definitely an easy fix. I mean. It's never fun to get my upper lips numbed up to the point where my nose feels numb. But 5 was an easy fix. 

And 10....10 was also a pretty easy fix, with the slight exception that the dentist was like "Oh there's some decay under this old filling" so you know, had to get that out before properly fixing said filling. 

But overall....it was a quick fix. No issues and my mouth feels a ton better now than it has been.....

With the exception of the points where the needles got stuck into my gums. Because OW those impact points still hurt...and in typical fashion will probably hurt or a couple more days because it's a rare time when the numbing needles don't end up hurting my mouth in some way. *exhales*

But overall. My mouth feels a lot better than it has. Though my tongue is rather confused to not have any rough surfaces to play with so it keeps going over the smooth spots now. 

In any case....

I really hope this is the last 'fix it' dentist appointment I have to deal with this year.

Like. I do have a cleaning scheduled in December at some point.

But I really hope that they don't find anything there and nothing goes wrong in the meantime.

*fingers crossed*

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Where Is My I.D.?

 So...like a week before my Birthday, I went to go get my license renewed...since it was going to expire this year and I needed to update it in person instead of online this time. 

And they said it would take like a month or so to get it sent to my home.

Okay. No big deal.

Yet...it's now been nearly 2 months since I got my license renewed...which meant that I probably should have got it by now.

So I hopped online to the DLD to click on the 'where is my license' link just to check the status of it.

And...it turns out my license had been mailed the day after my birthday....

And then returned to the DLD two weeks later as 'undeliverable'

Which ??? Huh? How could it be undeliverable? There was literally someone home the entire day so if there was some sort of signature needed to leave it at the home...it should have been done.

But there it was....sitting at the DLD for nearly a month and I had no idea.

Because for whatever reason....they decided that they didn't need to notify me that my license couldn't be delivered. *exhales* No phone call (that I'm aware of). No email. No nothing.

I had to go track down my license myself. 

*shakes head*

And that was its own trial and a half. 

I got quite the ring around the rosie trying to contact someone to figure out how to get my license sent to me.

When I finally got a hold of someone on the phone....I was told that my license couldn't be delivered because the address I was sending it to was not the address listed on my license and because I hadn't provided 2 pieces of mail proof proving that I lived at that residence they couldn't send it to me. 

Which... HUH??

Like...I was there in person when I got my license renewed and the lady at the desk had asked me where I would like my license sent. So I told her my current address as the address on my license is for my childhood home since I don't know how long I'll be living at my current place. 

And the lady said NOTHING about needing two pieces of mail in order to prove I lived in the place that I was having my license sent to. 

She made it seem like it was just fine to send it to my current place rather than to childhood home. 

And I'd counted that as a win because it meant one less trip elsewhere to get something.

In any case.

The person on the phone said that they could send my license to my current address but that I'd want to go online to switch my address to my current address ASAP.

Which....??? Why? I still don't get it. I told the person on the phone that where I'm living is only TEMPORARY. That I still consider the address on my license my home address. Hence why it's still on my license. 

*shakes head*

At least they were willing to send it to me so I wouldn't have to take time to drive out to the DLD and grab the thing myself.

*fingers crossed* that it actually shows up.

Until you next find these words:
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi 

Achy Achy

 Okay.

I admit. 

I haven't really been eating the best the past few days.

Like...the heat just drains all the energy from me...including the energy to eat. 

I haven't really felt hungry. And so haven't really eaten much beyond like...slices of bread and crackers because I don't have the energy to do much more than that.

And maybe...maybe my body doesn't like that much.

Maybe it's demanding more nutrients and energy.

As for the past few days....my legs have been aching.

Like my left leg has been aching off and on for a good two or three weeks...maybe a month now.

Which I first attributed to the irritation/infection in my big toe from toenail issues that I finally got medication for.

But like...the pain has persisted.

And today both my legs were aching.

Kinda that sore ache where there's just too much....I think it's lactic? Lactic acid build up in the muscles. Where you've walked too much and moved your muscles too much and they demand relaxation.

Or maybe my body just doesn't have enough of the right nutrients that it needs and is taking them from the muscles in my legs.

Like it's not really pain I've felt much....but yet I think I remember a similar situation happening when I was a kid, back when I was refusing to eat food--I don't know why I wasn't eating back then, but I do remember I ended up having to go to the hospital/doctor? I remember the drive and sitting in the waiting room at least and then coming back home....

But the pain seems similar to that. Not quite growing pains...but similar.

And the paranoid part of me is like "Oh no! It's blood clots! They're going to get loose and kill me!" Cus you know that's been a worry in the back of my mind since I got the second dose of the vaccine. 

The other part of me is wondering if this is just this month's 'weird symptom' that's been occurring pretty regularly this past year where some part of me 'feels wrong/in pain' right before the cramps hit. And then everything is fine afterwards. 

Or maybe it's just stress. Maybe my muscles can't relax enough and are complaining.

Maybe I just need to get new shoes. Ones with better padding....

In any case.

It was getting worrisome today at work to feel my legs aching as usually working helps the pain to go away. 

So I was like "Okay, maybe I just need to eat more than I've been eating." 

So when I got home from work today I ordered myself a pizza. (got one for my roomies as well) and some breadstick bites. And a salad.

Because I probably need to have something 'green' in my diet.

In any case.

My legs still hurt.

Probably didn't help that I tried to massage out the pain. 

Probably doesn't help that the cramps also hit tonight.

So like....my lower half is just in pain in general.

But hopefully eating some 'real food' today will help. And thankfully I have leftovers for tomorrow. So hopefully I can increase a bit more of what I'm eating so that I can get more nutrients in my body and hopefully get my legs to stop aching.

Guess we'll see.

*fingers crossed*

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi