United

Today was a day that a year ago....I wouldn't have expected it to be happening. I honestly thought that it wouldn't happen for another two or three years really. 

But today.

Today Kikay got married. 

It's so crazy to think about honestly.

How a year ago she wasn't dating anyone. Had basically done the whole "Yah. I need a break from dating" thing because the last couple of guys she'd gone out with hadn't panned out.

To today.

Where she said her "I Do" to a wonderful childhood neighborhood friend of ours. 

It's crazy.

And I'm so happy for the both of them.

After the hardships and trials that they both have been through, the fact that they can make each other laugh, that they can feel comfortable enough around each other to let their guards down. To be relaxed. To have fun and goof off. 

It's such a beautiful and wonderful thing to see. To have seen their relationship develop.

To have them finally seal the deal.

It's awesome.

It's crazy.

I'm so happy for them. 

Until you next see these words;

I'll be watching the leaves.

Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Crash and Burn

I went too hard.

Pushed too much.

Gave too much energy.

I kinda wasn't surprised.
I realized I was overworking myself.

But my gift..and failing...is that I want to help people out.
And make them happy. 

So I do what I can to ease their burdens and help them feel less stress.
Whether it's cleaning or driving or organizing or moving things....

I do what I can and go out of my way to try and make them happy.

Which isn't usually that big of a deal. 
....When I can take time to myself and recharge. Do my own thing. 

I'm mostly an introvert after all.
And I feel better after I take time to be alone and just...recharge.

Which is hard to do when you're surrounded by people who don't understand the concept of 'recharging' when you're alone. 

But it's also hard to do when I'm focused so much on trying to help other people that I end up having no time to take to myself.

And since Wednesday....that's what I've been doing. 

Helping others. Running hard.
With cleaning.
With running errands.
With playing chauffeur. 
I've had no 'me' time.

Which....I probably should have taken some time to myself today.
Slept in. Or just hung out at home.

But I could see a need.
See that Kikay needed help moving the last of her things from Daddoo's house as her plans to do it last night got waylaid and I could tell it was stressing her out especially with her wedding happening tomorrow. 

So I volunteered to help her move the last of her things.
And then make the drive down to her house.
And help her unload the things and make sure everything was in order for the wedding and such. 

The migraine struck during the last hour that my godmother and I were helping out. 

Which was a sign of "hey you should take a break"

So I tried.
Took meds. Ate food. Drank liquids. Took a nap.

It didn't help.

I'd drained too much of my energy over the past few days. Stressing over things. Helping other people.

And my body was crying out for rest.
Crying out for some 'me' time.

Which I didn't want to do.
Because tonight was Kikay's Bachelorette party. And among playing Laser Tag, I'd also volunteered to help cook the dinner afterwards.
So I didn't want to miss it. At all.

I missed it.

On the drive back down to Collegetown since we were holding the party down there....I realized that I probably would be rather bad company. As the migraine was reaching the point where I was getting nauseous and my arms were tingling because my muscles were so tight.

Then I got word that other people were going to be delayed...I told my sister-in-law (who I had drive us down as I was tired of driving and also suffering from a migraine) to just drop me off at my house. I would take a shower. Maybe a nap and if I felt better would join them for the dinner but I would miss the laser tag. 
But just in case I couldn't make it to dinner. I made sure my sister-in-law could cook the meal I had volunteered to make.
Which she could.

So she dropped me off.
I took a long hot shower.
And then crashed for three hours on my bed.

Woke up just as the party was ending at the friend's place.

So yah. Bittersweet moment there. But Kikay did come to my place as she would be spending the night here with Ash. And she was super grateful that I had helped her this morning to get everything organized and to the house. So yah. Bittersweet.

But definitely lesson learned.
I need to take time for myself...or else I'll end up being forced to take time when I least want to. 
*exhales*

We'll see if I do better when another situation like this occurs. 

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

All the Driving

Whew.
It's been a crazy long day. 

It started with a final crazy push to get the basement clean for my Godparents who are coming to stay for the weekend. So it was sweeping and kinda dusting and attempting to mop while making sure that there were chairs free of clutter to sit on and clutter on the floor was moved out of the way or thrown away or you know vanished from where it was being cluttery. 
It was also that last minute drive out to the store to run the final errands. Like...getting this and that to help make the basement liveable. The little odds and ends like...little trash cans or a mat for the bathroom floor to make the place feel like a living space instead of a construction space.

And then it was off to the races.
Lol off to the airport to pick up my Godparents.
Then it was off on a tour up and down the valley.
As they haven't visited in a while, and since my siblings have both bought houses in the past six months...they wanted to see their new digs. And like...my place too. lol even if I don't own the house they wanted to see where I was living and visit my work where we were able to buy some fish! Woot!! Yay for more fish. XD

But whew.

It was a ton of driving.
Going up and down and all around the valley to hit all the stops and the stores and the food places. 

I'm exhausted.
We all are. lol. We went running hard to show my godparents all the things today since the next few days are going to be crazy with wedding stuff and it won't be easy to break away to go see things during that time.

But yah.
It was crazy.
A lot of driving on my half since I was playing chauffeur. 

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Ever Cleaning

There's something just....exhausting about having to do the same task again and again and again.
Especially when it's a task that shouldn't need to be done consistently.

And yet.

*exhales*
So for the past little bit I've been coming up to Daddoo's like a couple times a month to help out.

And it feels like...
Everytime I come up.

The living room and the kitchen upstairs are in various states of...well disorganization.

Which is frustrating because it's hard to feel welcomed when you come into a room and have no place to sit.

Especially when I've made sure multiple times in the past to clean up. To make sure you could sit in the living room. To make sure you could sit at the kitchen table and the counters were clear and the dishes that were either in the sink or already in the drying rack were cleaned and put away.

And it's...irritating.
To feel like a maid.
To have to do the same thing over and over and over every time I come up.
Like.
It's stressful.
It's frustrating.
And I don't like it.

So I brought it up to Daddoo this time around.
That I would prefer it if the kitchen and living room stay cleaner.

Like I know the basement has been in a crazy mess in forever.
And Daddoo feels like the only way he can organize the mess is to take bits of the mess out of the basement and bring it upstairs and organize it in a different room.

But like...it never gets fully done.

If the idea is to bring stuff out of a messy place and decide if you a) want it or not b) want it back in the basement or not....I would think the final step would be "If it's not going back in the basement then it needs to be put in it's new spot."
Not just....left in the living room.
Not just placed on the kitchen table.

Like some of it was prepping stuff. Gathering stuff up for Kikay as she's moving out and Daddoo wants to make sure she takes the things she needs to take. So it makes sense why it can't be put away....

But like....it should have at least been placed in a spot that wasn't going to interfere.

Especially since we have family flying in tomorrow for a weekend visit.

I want the house to look good for them.
To be clean.

And yet...Daddoo didn't keep the upstairs how I had left it the last time I went up.
And therefore I had to take time away from helping out in the basement....to make sure that the upstairs was presentable too.

*exhales*

It's frustrating.
And I'm hoping. That with this final major push to get the basement habitable (if not pristine just yet) that it will prevent the upstairs from constantly becoming messy.

Guess we'll see.
Old habits die hard it appears.

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Adopt It?

So we have this snake that hasn't been eating.
Like I was aware that before we sold it it hadn't eaten in like...maybe a week or two?
And the customer ended up returning the snake because they couldn't get it to eat during their two (i think?) week stint that the snake was with them. 
And my coworkers couldn't get it to eat last week.
So I tried to feed it on Saturday and managed to get him to like...strike the dead pinkie and curl up around it...but ended up startling him and so he didn't actually eat the mouse >.< foo.
And my coworker tried on Sunday to get him to eat....

but no dice.

So we ended up taking him to the vet today.
Because for a young snake not to eat in over a month...that's not a good thing.
And the vet was like "Well he appears fine. We force fed him for you, but we don't see anything wrong with him." 

So it's like...just a stubborn snake that won't eat.

And like...the managers and I are feeling a slight pressure.
Because one of my coworkers is dead set about adopting the snake.
Because he hasn't been eating.

Tried to adopt the snake on Friday I think.
Before the vp manager stepped in and was like "wait wait wait we can't just adopt out this snake to you." 
Because the manager hadn't heard anything about the snake not eating or anything from me before that point.
-The closest they knew was that the snake had been isolated in the New Arrivals room because there wasn't room in ISO to do so but I couldn't keep the snake in New Arrivals because there was no way to plug in a heat lamp to keep him warm in there so I put him back on the floor where he would have access to heat in the cages. 

And then for like the two days after my coworker tried to adopt the snake they were like "Did you take it to the vet yet? How about now? What about now?" 

*exhales*

Like.
It's highly doubtful you'll get the snake adopted out that early.
Like we'll have to give it at least another two or three weeks before considering it.
Especially because this particular ball python is over $100 and any animals that cost over that we need to get district manager approval to adopt out before we can adopt the animal.
And unless we're following the procedures set out to try to get the snake to eat...we can't really provide a good reason for the snake to be adopted.

In any case.

Because the vet had force fed the snake. We were trying to decide where to put him until we could get him to eat.
As ISO is the logical choice. As he'll be less likely to get disturbed back there.
But at the same time....my iso room is still full. I don't have room to place another tank in there currently thanks to us having a large chinchilla cage and then another large cage with a mama guinea pig and her babies in it. 

So our current solution is to keep the snake on the floor. But to remove the tag on the cage and put a reserved sign there. And then tell all my coworkers to NOT TOUCH THE SNAKE. Don't open the cage. Don't let customers or coworkers handle it. 
And the idea is to give the snake a week of not being handled before we attempt to feed it again.

*exhales*

Some days I wish we didn't carry the balls because they can be such a difficult snake to get to eat the dead mice. 
I mean. We've had less problems since we've managed to increase the humidity in their cages....but still we occasionally still get in that stubborn snake that won't eat....

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Shopping

I went to the mall today.
Honestly I'm not sure why I do that.
Because like 9/10 times I don't usually buy anything I came into the mall to look for. 

But yah. I went to the mall today.
Mostly to look at potential new boots to buy.
And potential jewelry to buy.

But I ended up leaving with nothing.
Well...I grabbed Chick-fil-a while I was there. So not quite nothing.

But there was just....too many people around for me to feel relaxed enough to actually shop about.
Mostly it was just a 'pop in here and pop in there' but never stay long enough to actually browse to the point I wanted to spend money.

*exhales*
Yah.
Not quite sure why I went to the mall.
I guess I keep thinking they'll have things there that are my style....and then they don't.

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

A New Ward

()_()
My ward got dissolved today.

Like.
It's something that can happen.
But like.
WHAT?!?!!?!??!!?

Out of all the things I expected when I came to church today.
....That wasn't it.

My bishop released...everyone released. The ward no more.

Like O.o WHAT?!

Apparently there was a slight heads up that 'something' was happening as they announced an evening meeting after church during sacrament meeting last week too...but I hadn't been aware of it as I had taken a 'Me' day that day to just...chill. 

But yah.
It's weird.
So weird. To think that like...my ward isn't my ward anymore.

I mean I've been to meetings where the boundaries of the ward have changed.
But I've never been in a ward that just...doesn't exist anymore.

But apparently this has been in the works since late 2018?

As the stake presidency had the feeling that they needed to adjust the boundaries of the stake.
But they decided to wait it out a bit.
See how things fell.
As there was a zoning law change that they were waiting to see if it would pass and take effect and how that would effect the membership of the young single adults in that area.
And then there was a creation of a midsingle adult ward that they wanted to see how that affected things.
But towards the end of 2019 they again visited the boundary topic. Got opinions of the bishops in the stakes, had a lot of prayer...and then after determining how they would like the new boundaries to go...sent their proposal to the first presidency for approval to change the boundaries....
Which occurred sometime this year in January.

And here we are.
With my ward no longer existing.
With my ward now divided with half of us going to one ward and the other half going to another.

But like.

I'm excited?

I mean. I was rather nervous because I don't like change.
But with how much change has been happening in the past couple of weeks it only makes sense that church life would like to throw a bit of tumult in so I'm basically to the point of "whelp this might as well happen."

But. 
Guys.
I am so much Excite!

Because at the meeting I went to.
They showed us a map of where the boundaries were now for each ward.

And then they would have the bishop stand up in that ward so those who weren't originally in the ward could see their new bishop.

And guys.
My bishop?

He's an old college institute teacher of mine!!!
Like. I took so many classes from him.
Worked with him on the institute council a bit.
And he's like one of my favorite teachers.

AND NOW HE'S MY BISHOP!!

Guys I'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS!!!

Like.
When he saw me he was like "SARNIC?! NO WAY! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" And pulled me into a hug. 
It was the best.
Like that was the best way to immediately feel welcomed into my new ward.

Gah. I'm just like. So excited to have him as my bishop.
I'm already looking forward to this ward.
As the few members I met at the meeting were quite friendly as well.
And like they seemed so genuine and happy and it's...I'm hopeful for my new ward.

As while my current one was okay...it felt....well kinda stagnant. 
I had no interest in participating in any of the ward activities.
And like hardly any guys showed much interest in like...dating....

So I am so much excite for this new ward.

I can't wait to check it out this upcoming sunday. And just see who all I'm going to be meeting with now. :D

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

The Peacemaker

Hamsters have to be one of the most unpredictable animals in the store.
*shakes head*
Seriously. You never know when one will decide that his buddy is now an enemy and needs to die.
They could be fine for days or months at a time.
And the suddenly you come in one morning to one half eaten. Like :S :S :S 
Hamsters are so unpredictable like that.

So.
We had three winter whites in a cage right?

There had been four in there, but I realized one was getting rather skinny compared to his buddies so I pulled him out to isolate him and make sure he was getting to a healthy weight.

So these three hamsters seemed to be doing just fine.
I mean.
There were moments when they'd have their squabbles. But it wasn't anything out of the ordinary as I would double check to make sure the squabbling wasn't aggressive.

But apparently while I was on lunch (because things always go wrong when I'm on lunch apparently) 

We had a customer come into the store wanting to buy one of the winter whites.
No big deal right?

Wrong.
Apparently the winter white they'd chosen...was like the peacemaker between the other two hamsters.

Because from what I've been told. 

Almost as soon as the third hamster was out and in it's box....

One of the two remaining hamsters decided that he had enough of the other hamster.
And attacked him.

I'm guessing it happened after my coworker who originally helped them had walked away.
As when i got back one of the managers was rescuing the hamster from the cage, apologizing for the wait in not being able to come right away. :S

Apparently the customers were quite traumatized?
Which I could understand.
If you're just standing there helpless, watching one hamster brutally attacking another one.

Thankfully we got to the hamster in time.
As while the hamster was quite bloody...it looked like everything was mostly surface wounds.
Bites to the face and to the paws and maybe a bit to the stomach.

It was rather hard to tell as the hamster was being difficult in letting us clean the blood off.
But I'm hopeful that he'll make a full recovery.

Still. I do feel bad for the customers who witnessed it.
But like...it's not a common occurrence.
I mean....I don't think we've ever had a hamster attack another just like that. So quick. So violent. Most the time it happens overnight when we're not there to check the cages.
So yah. It was weird.
It's been a weird week in relation to all our animals. Like so many issues happening out of the blue. *shakes head* 

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Organizing

So my Daddoo's been remodeling the basement for like....the last year right?

And so in an effort to help him 'get the house in order' like he's been saying he's been wanting to do for that year period.
I've begun coming up to the house a bit more often with the main focus being on helping him get the house in order.
Which has mostly been trying to help him organize all the stuff in the basement that got disorganized and tossed this way and that (it was nearly a scary hoarding pileup looking like situation) in order to make space in the rooms that were getting remodeled. 

And with family coming in town for Kikay's wedding...I think we've both been feeling the deadline a bit to try and make the basement presentable enough to have guests over as that's where the guest bedroom is supposed to be.

So today was kinda mostly that 'final major push' to get the house at least...clean looking...if not organized. 

I ended up spending yesterday evening helping Daddoo finish a couple spots of remodeling in the bedroom itself. Adding trim to the walls and such.
And today...today was organizing the family room downstairs where a ton of random items from storage to hobboies, to food storage to pieces of construction material had eneded up.

So most of the day --after a morning adventuring around town to get a crunchwrap and a couple things for the garden-- was spent sorting things into boxes and labeling them so that they could get moved into the garage for Daddoo to seriously go through whenever he decides he wants to. 

And by the end of the day.
We'd made major progress.
Everything was in boxes.
Some of the furniture had been moved into their new spots in other rooms.
We could actually see most of the floor again.

It was amazing!
Unfortunately I ran out of time, as I needed to head back down to collegetown for work in the morning, to be able to help him move the boxes into the garage. But Daddoo seemed rather confident he could do it on the morrow. *fingers crossed* that it actually happens. But with family coming into town...I'm pretty sure it will. 
But yah. I'm looking forward to there being less of a mess and more of a home feeling again in the house. 

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Bridesmaids

You ever unintentionally start something and it gets out of control?
Yah.
I apparently did that.

You see.
A bit ago.
Like maybe a monthish back?
I was trying to figure out how to help Kikay with her upcoming wedding stuff.

And I was like "Maybe I should get us all bridesmaids dresses! Us girls should all wear matching outfits!"
So I went onto Amazon to look up skirts/shirts/dresses that fit the color scheme and kinda the theme of the wedding. 

I probably spent like an hour or so doing that.
Before deciding that it wasn't my wedding and if Kikay wanted to have bridesmaids she would pick the outfits and such.

And on a whim the next time I saw her I was like "At one point I thought bridesmaids dresses for your wedding." and showed her a couple of pictures I'd saved in my 'save for later cart' on Amazon.
You know...just in case.

More time passed.
And my roomie (who is one of Kikay's best friends) was like "Should we wear matching outfits?"

And I was like *shrugs*
So she asked Kikay when she saw her.

And Kikay was like "Oh well let's look."

And then suddenly I was getting this text of clothes to buy to wear....a week before the wedding. 
:S Like stressful much??

And when I mentioned it.
Kikay was like "This was all YOUR IDEA"

As the skirt they picked out was the one I had shown her earlier lol.
Though the rest of the outfit was more her than me. ^^;;

In any case.
Apparently I helped picked out the bridesmaid dresses?

Now it's a matter of the waiting game for all the pieces to show up. :S

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Injured

We had a hamster get injured today at work.

And it's like...bizarre how he ended up getting injured.
As it was one of the little robo dwarf hamsters.

And when I checked in on that particular cage he and his two other buddies were all doing good. I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary and made sure their food and water were filled and such.

And I was supposed to do the animal count today.

But I didn't remember until I was halfway through my opening tasks.
And so I figured I would just save the count for later, when opening was done. That way I could make sure that opening did get done.

Only.
As I was getting ready to finish up the bedding change.
I decided that if I wanted to ensure the animal count got done before I was off in an hour.
I should do it now and then finish putting everything back in the reptile cages I'd been cleaning afterwards.
And if I didn't get it done then that would be fine. Because I had a coworker who could take over for me and finish with the cages.
But I'm the only one, since my manager is gone, who can do the count. 
-Technically I could have given it to a different manager, but since I'm the quickest at it...I figured I'd just do it.

And things went swimmingly until I came to that robo dwarf cage.

And I noticed immediately that the hamster sitting on the wheel was injured.

But I thought at first that his two other buddies had taken a dislike to him and that he'd been attacked.
As I thought I saw blood on his bottom, or at least scabs of injuries.

So I left to go grab a cage so I could isolate him.
And when I came back.

The wheel had shifted slightly.
And I saw this foot.
Sticking out between the wheel.

As the wheel itself is one of those quiet wheels that has two pieces to it. A white part and a colored part that click together.

And apparently the seal between the two pieces had become wide enough that it left a gap. A crack of sorts.

and the poor hamster had gotten his foot caught in that crack.
And couldn't get it out.

He'd rubbed the leg raw the poor hamster.

And who knows how long he'd been stuck like that.
But I'm guessing it was for a while.
As I had been busy with opening tasks so I hadn't needed to go over to the hamsters as no customers had shown interest in them yet. 

I quickly took action to free him from the wheel.
And gah.
It's not pretty.
I mean the leg is still whole and such.
No obvious blood besides a redness to the leg where the skin was rubbed raw.

But I think it might be broken.
Because the hamster was just dragging the leg behind him as he walked around. It wasn't moving at all. 
So it's either broken or dislocated.

And that puts us in a bit of a pickle.

Because hamsters don't do well being put under anesthesia. 
And that sort of treatment...usually requires anesthesia.

An even bigger problem was that our vet had left early that day.
So we couldn't get him seen right away. We have to wait until tomorrow to drop him off--as it was determined that the injury while not good...wasn't life threatening. So we could wait for tomorrow.

I'm mostly hoping that the leg will recover in the meantime.
But it's probably not likely. *exhales*

Still.
I do hope that he'll be able to recover.
As that's not a fun thing to have happen. :S Not at all. 

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Attempted Delivery

So last week I ordered some fish decorations online.

Specifically glofish ones that would glo under a blue light.

And while I can easily buy fish decorations at work.
And usually do buy them at work since I get a discount there.

We don't have as many options in the glo decoration area as I'd like.

So for funsies I found some that I liked and ordered a couple packs of them.

And both packs were supposed to arrive on Sunday.

Which I ended up taking a rest day that day.
So I was literally home all day long.

So there should have been no issue in having my packages arrive when they were supposed to.

I mean, it was raining....but like that's hardly a deterrent to getting things delivered. 

So I expected no problems.

And yet.

When I checked online to see how my order was coming along as it was within the time frame it shoudl be arriving. 

I was confronted with an "Attempted to Deliver." notice. 

Attempted to Deliver?

What do you mean 'Attempted?'

Because like.
I'd literally been home all day.
I had been hanging out on the couch by our front door.
So that I could get the package as soon as it arrived.

But there had been no doorbell.
No note left on the door.
No note left in the mailbox.

Nothing.

And like.
It was just fish decorations.
So it's not like it's an item that needs to be signed for or anything.

So how could the delivery of my package have been 'attempted' then.

I mean.
I was home.
Nobody knocked on the door or ran the doorbell. *shakes head*

I mean.
It was raining at that point.
But I hardly thought a little rain would stop a delivery. 

So how then was it 'attempted?'

Honestly I wonder if the mail person accidentally tried to deliver it to the wrong house.
Realized it was the wrong house.
Also realized that my address wasn't on their route and so had to say they attempted to deliver it instead.

Of course.
There could have been other circumstances.
Car trouble.
The delivery person got sick.
The weather got super crazy for two minutes.

Or maybe like the delivery person recognized my name. And knew me...and didn't want to me??

Seems unlikely...I don't think I know anyone living in my area that works as a delivery guy....

I'm guessing it's the first option.
That the package ended up at the wrong address and had to be redistributed.

It's just weird though.

Because two other packages arrived on Sunday without issue.
The second was for my roommie.
The third was my second package I was expecting.

So like two of the three packages we were expecting today arrived just fine.

What happened to the first??

Well.
It finally arrived today.

I don't know if the holiday yesterday affected mail delivery.

But if it was at the wrong address...the wrong city....I could see it taking a bit to get my package to the right distributor to be delivered to me. 

I'll probably never know why it couldn't be delivered on Sunday.
Which is irritating because I don't like not knowing things.

But at least the package arrived!! Woot!! It didn't get lost anywhere so yay! 

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Holidays

Holidays are always...well crazy at work.

It makes it difficult to get things done in a timely manner.
Because you can't plan a holiday to be like any other regular day.

As holidays bring days off from work.
Which means that for whatever reason, people decide that they want to come into the pet store and get a pet. 

*exhales*
I don't understand it.
Like if you have a day off why not go out and do something fun instead of visiting my work??

It's hard to predict just what people will want though.

Sometimes customers focus more on the dog stuff.
Other holidays it's the birds.
And yet others it's the fish.

There's no way of telling which way customers will go. 

Today it was the fish.

It seemed like everyone wanted a betta or another fish of some sort. 
And oddly enough.
It was a bunch of college students.

Like I don't know why all the students around decided they suddenly needed fish.
But that's definitely what it felt like as I went from customer to customer to customer answering similar questions each time.

*shakes head*

Gotta love holidays.

They're exhausting. 

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

A Day of Rest

I've been feeling worn down recently.

With all the emotional turmoil I've been experiencing.
It's no surprise that I woke up with a sore throat this morning.
Because I'm sure I'm wearing myself out and not allowing myself to get enough rest. 
And with the stress of other's stress getting to me....

I decided to just take a rest day today.
To not go to church.
And just hang out.

Because like....I know that I get more stressed out when I don't have enough 'me time.'

So I took a me day.

To just hang out.
Relax.
Write a bit. 

And focus on not straining myself so that the sore throat would fade away.
Which it mostly did. So woot!
Hopefully I can nip the possibility of getting a cold in the bud so that it's a mild case rather than a major one as I can't really afford to get sick this week since my manager and another coworker are both out of town on vacation currently. :S
No need to leave our department down a third member. :S

And I have to say.
It was nice.
Nice to not have to go anywhere
Or interact with anyone.
Just...be alone on my own terms. 

It's definitely something I need. 
Especially since I don't know the next time I'll be able to 'rest.' 

So much to do.
And not many days to do it in.

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Out and About

It was one of those days.
Where I figured I would end up with a headache.
Because I usually get one on Saturdays if it's crazy.
And I also had plans to do things with my friends after work.
Which usually means a headache will come to try and ruin the day. 

So there was no surprise when indeed a headache did come.

And nearly, I tried to convince my friends to just...take it easy.
To not do all the shopping and dinner and such that we'd planned.
Like maybe just do dinner.

My friends weren't keen on that idea lol.
Not surprising as we'd met up specifically to do the shopping.

So I was hoping that at least doing dinner would help the headache go away.
As I do think that when I get low on energy and haven't eaten enough that headaches come my way.

And since Saturdays I tend to expend more energy helping customers...headaches are expected. 

Thankfully, dinner did indeed help get rid of the headache and give me more energy.

So we were able to have fun shopping and going on midnight donut runs and just....relax and laugh the night away. 

Yay for having a night of fun. 

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Seeking Advice

There's just something about being able to...talk about problems in your life.
That help to clarify things.
That help to calm you down. 
That help to give you a better idea of how to handle the situation. 

As I've been under a bit of emotional strain really.

The tipping point being a situation with a friend that I've found myself in....that I recognize isn't a good situation to be in.
And I know that I should be taken measures to protect myself from a) manipulation b) emotional strain and c)...idk...just keeping myself safe.

But it's one thing to read about this sort of situation.
Or hear of it from another.

It's another thing to be the one directly involved.

Especially when you're the type of person where you want to help out and do what you can be ease another's pain, lift their burdens, make their lives a little bit brighter.

However.
I know I'm not in a healthy enough emotional/mental state myself to be able to handle another person's drama.
Especially if they won't give me details on exactly what the issue is.
And especially because I have no way to prepare or plan for how long this problem with this friend...will be a problem.
It could be a day. It could be months or years.

It's hard. And I can't deal with that sort of emotional strain currently.

So I sought help.
From friends and family who have experience with this sort of situation. To tell them about the situation. To confirm or deny my concerns/fears/worries. And to give advice on what to do and what would be best to do.

And it helped.
Helped to have someone listen and help me out.

To tell me that it's okay for me to focus on my own Mental/Emotional health first. As I can't be the only source to make someone else happy. 
It's hard. Because I'm naturally an empathetic soul.

But it's helped a lot.
Helped to clarify.
To put things in perspective. 

*exhales*
So hopefully....I can better handle the situation as it happens.

Still.
I'm grateful to have people to turn to for advice. 
To help me out when I'm in need.
And just...yah.

Give me some perspective. 

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

A Busy Day

Well...today has been quite the adventure.

I mean, I was expecting it to be atypical because I was scheduled to work the night shift today. 
And I'm usually never on this sort of shift.
At least not anymore.
I usually work mornings.

But due to a bunch of different factors in other coworkers schedules...I ended up being like the only one able to work the closing shift today.
All my other coworkers either couldn't work it or were scheduled in other areas in the store.

So to have the coverage we needed....we needed to have me work a night shift instead of my morning shift.

So I was expecting the day to be...well crazy.

Crazy started far earlier in the morning than was expected.

As my manager texted me around 615 saying that my coworker, the one who would be covering the opening shift....had called out sick. And so my manager needed me to come in.

Which okay.
I can easily do that.
But like...who would be covering the evening shift? Because it's not possible for me to work the entire day. That's waaaaay too long of a shift lol

The manager was like "we'll figure it out!"

Mhmmm sure.....
Knowing what I knew...it was doubtful.

And turns out I was right.
We ended up giving me a split shift.
So I worked until lunch time this morning.
And then I came back for the last two hours of the work day to help with closing tasks.
Which I probably should have come back an hour before that as it was apparently crazy that third hour before we closed lol. But as soon as I showed up the store basically died. 
Soooo yah not quite sure why I was needed in the evening, beyond being a third body in the store lol. 

In any case.
The morning started out with me coming into work unexpectedly which meant that I had to unfortunately wake up one of my roomies to move her car as she'd parked behind me as I had mentioned I'd be working the evening shift so it would be okay.

Note to self.
Don't tell people they can park behind me. It never works out.

Then at work itself.
I ended up finding, while I was working on opening, that the cages in our back rooms hadn't been properly shut.
Two of them had like a good two inch gap of an opening in them meaning that the hamsters within could easily find a way out.
Which is what two of them.
We had two hamsters loose this morning.
And I only managed to find one of them, hiding among the bird cages in that room.
The other one...is still missing....who knows if we'll ever find him. :S

We also discovered that my department's phone....is broken.
Something happened to it where it somehow got wet.
Because it was giving us the white screen of death and when I pulled out the battery to check it...it had water on it.
So like....not a good sign.
As that leaves us with only one working phone in the store....when we used to have like....six? two for grooming and four for the store. *shakes head*
It sucks.
Big time because those phones are apparently really expensive to replace. *exhales*

So that was how the morning worked out. *shakes head*

It's been...crazy. 
Though at least the two hours I spent at work in the evening weren't that bad. Not too crazy. 
Still though....

It was a bit of an odd day.

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

All the Death

Whelp.
Is it too early to say that I feel like all my fish are going to die?
Because I feel like all my fish are going to die.

I ended up just completing an emergency late night water change on my tank because my oldest fish, my Angelfish Beauty, is doing the death gasps when she'd been fine earlier.

Which means that something isn't working right with the treatment of my tank with melafix and pimafix and such. 

Not when I still have fish dying.

I mean I had four other ones die by the time I got home from work.
And I'd really rather not lose Beauty.

So like...I decided to stop the treatment.
I did nearly a 50% water change and put the filter cartridges back into my tank to filter out the remaining chemicals.

I'm just going to like....let my tank sit I think.
*cross my fingers* that Beauty survives...though with how she's acting it seems highly doubtful at this point. Y_Y foo.

But yah.
I'm just going to leave my tank alone for a while.
Feed the fish. 
Make sure the water levels stay up.
And just like....let nature take it's course with the remaining fish and their survival.

Because I can't handle emotionally the loss of fish when I'm trying to help them.
As it's mirroring all too much my inability to help in other situations currently happening in my life right now.

*exhales*

Hopefully the other fish remain alright.
Time will tell I suppose. 

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Still Sick and Getting Sicker

*exhales*
I feel like I unleashed the floodgates when it comes to my tank.

Like not literal water spilling anywhere.

But illness.

I admit.
I probably triggered it by adding too many fish together too quickly. 

And it's possible a couple of those fish had something on them.
Like maybe a fungus.
Or a fin rot or something.

I mean I think I saw one neon tetra with a whiteish tail fin.
But surely...that couldn't infect an entire tank right?

Wrong.

I mean.
The ick was unwelcome but not surprising.

After all it comes out when fish are stressed and adding 37 fish into my tank would definitely count as a stressful situation.

But then others began getting fin rot.
Red fins.
Just straight up vanishing....

And today my big one eyed goldfish...was all pineconed and ended up dying. Y_Y;;;

I've lost like 30 of the new fish.
And a good half dozen or so of my older fish.

And I feel like everytime I start treating one illness...another one pops up.

I mean I have the super ick cure, melafix, pimafix, and even some aquarium salt as well as stress coat added into my tank currently.
In hopes to nip everything in the bud.

*exhales*
But it doesn't seem to be helping.

And I'm pretty certain by the end of my treatment.
I may just call it a loss.
Do a water change.
Put the cartridges back in.
And just let nature take it's course.

Because if three rounds of super ick cure can't cure the ick.....
And the fish are still dying....

I may as well just let them sort themselves out and try again later.

*fingers crossed* that it doesn't come to that.
But like...there's only so much treatment I can do....

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Accomplishment

So like...2 and halfish years ago.

I began posting fanfics for Detective Conan/Magic Kaito (DCMK) on Ao3 and FF as well as Tumblr. It was my beginning forays into writing fanfic and I was planning to write a bunch of DCMK stories and establish myself as a DCMK writer lol.

And then Sanders Sides happened....and I was like "Oh, I'll just write this one story then go back to DCMK!" 

Only...it wasn't just one story.
I wrote another.
And another.
And another.
As I was getting many more responses to Sanders Sides than I was with DCMK.

But I was like "Oh, I'll get back to it!"

And I told myself I would.
I made myself a promise.
Or a goal I suppose.

That until I wrote another DCMK fic, I wouldn't publish any Sanders Sides on the other sites.

As I didn't want to be one of those authors who people follow because they write for one fandom...but then is suddenly writing for another one. 

I wanted to make sure that the people who already had followed me for DCMK would still get DCMK fics and not only Sanders Sides.

So that was my goal.

Write another DCMK story.
THEN I can post my Sanders Fics! 

Only....
I kept writing Sanders Sides.
And I wasn't writing any DCMK.

But by now.
Over Two years later.

I've gotten quite the following of people who read my Sanders fics on Tumblr.
And I've gotten a couple of requests from there asking if I have my fics anywhere else.

As Tumblr can make things difficult to find on their site.
And there's no easy way to link my stories all together in one place despite my best efforts.

So the easiest way would be to just post it onto the other sites where I can keep them all together and people can easily follow me and stay up to date on fics. 

BUT.
I had made this goal.
Two years ago.
To not post on those sites until I wrote and posted another DCMK fic. 

There were multiple times I nearly threw away this goal.
Tossed it aside.

But I'm a stubborn soul when I want to be.
And I realllly didn't want to be that person that suddenly changes fandoms.

I mean...I even played with the idea of creating a second username on the other sites so that I could post the Sanders Sides there without feeling guilty about my neglected DCMK username.

But I liked the idea of all my works being together in one spot. No matter the fandom.

Sooo.
With the goal to start posting Sanders Sides to these other sites this year.
I set to work on trying to finish one of my DCMK wips.

....It wasn't going well.

BUT!
In the end, after watching some episodes in the DCMK series I ended up getting inspired and wrote a completely new story.

AND FINISHED IT!

Ha!

So today.
After TWO years I finally managed to post a DCMK fic to those sites!!

XD XD
Which means I can now start posting my Sanders Sides stories!
Woot!!

ACCOMPLISHMENT!!

It's an amazing feeling. XD lol.

Now...I just need to keep writing DCMK stories so that my followers can enjoy those fics while I also build up my rep for Sanders Sides over there as well. XD 

Lol shall be an interesting goal...we'll see how well I do in accomplishing it. ^^;; 

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

The Emotional Struggle

It's like...being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Because on the one hand...I want to help out and provide my support however I can....
On the other hand. This is causing me like...severe stress and anxiety and there's no easy way to...well...make it stop. 

As I mentioned...On Thursday a friend of mine called to tell me he was terminal right?

Well.
Every day since then, around the same time...he's been calling me.

So that he can hear my voice.

Which...is interesting because he's the one who does most of the talking.
Which most of that talking is like...complimenting me and such.

And for the last three days...it's been basically the same conversation.
The same compliments. Because he wants to make sure I know how awesome and amazing and kind and sweet and gentle, etc. I am.

Which I suppose is probably because the meds he's on are probably making his mind fuzzy or something so he doesn't always remember that we've had this conversation.

But at the same time....
It's hard.

Because some of the conversation is hard to listen to. Hard to bear. 

I've been under so much emotional stress for the past little while....that having this added onto the pile is very nearly the straw that is breaking my back.

Because....I don't know how long these calls will happen for.
He's terminal after all.

And if he calls me every day....
That means one day he won't.
And if he doesn't that one day....
That might mean that he won't ever again.
Because he's terminal.

But there's no time frame for terminal.
I can't plan for how long these phone calls will happen for.
How long I will need to muster up a smile, be a voice of comfort. 

...When I'm already drained so much already.

I don't want these conversations to happen every day.
At the same time...
I don't want them to stop. 

Because either way is stressful.
If he calls I have to stress about the conversation and how long it will last.
If he doesn't call I have stress on whether or not 'this is it' whether or not this is the day he's no longer walking the earth...or if he just didn't feel the need to call me.

But because when he calls he's usually on strong meds...I doubt he remembers much of what I say. So I can't tell him to stop calling me because it's stressing me out. Because he's soo set on making sure I'm okay and that I'm good. And I can't break his heart letting him know that I'm not and these phone calls are the reason among other struggles in my life currently.
But also because he might not remember that I told him this. And I don't want to tell him to stop calling me because I'm apparently a source of comfort in this time of trial for him. And I don't want to destroy those last bits of comfort he has. 

So I'm struggling.
Struggling hardcore.

Will he call?
Will he not?
Is he okay?
Is he not?

....He didn't call today.
Which on the one hand.
Is a relief because I was stressing most of the day he would.
But again....because he didn't call....I have to wonder...is this it? Is this the end? 

It's stressful.
so stressful.

And I don't know how long I'll be able to handle having this occur. 
I really don't.

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi