193rd Semiannual General Conference Highlights - Saturday Sessions

 Saturday Morning 

David A. Bednar

• Press forward. Even when you're worn and tired, even disheartened. Press forward. Trust in the Lord that he is with you and guiding you. 
• If all Men had been, were, and ever would be like Moroni, the Powers of Hell would have been shaken. The devil would never have had power over men. 
• Even though you're not as noticable or consipicious as more famous people, you can be as helpful and as useful. 
• If you feel what you do this year and in the years to come isn't noticed, take heart, the best people to ever live weren't taken note of either. Serving faithfully and quietly. 
• Observe to keep the commandments and statues of the Lord. 
• Strive with unweary diligence. 
• If you've turned away from God, turn humbly once again to him. Seek him. Come unto him. 
• Joy cometh in the morning. 
• Trust in the Lord even when the righteous desires of your heart aren't met in the timeline or way that you hoped. 
• Stand guard like a lioness at the gate of your home. 
• Love and Serve. Listen and Learn. Care and Console. Teach and Testify. 

Amy A. Wright

• If you knew you would meet the Lord tomorrow, what would you do today to prepare? 
• Because of Christ, everything can be Okay.
• Abiding the Day does not mean adding to an ever increasing To Do list. 
• You need to simplify. Focus your efforts. 
• We cannot share our Oil, but we can share His Light. 
• Nothing we have or have not done is beyond the Lord's infinite reach or sacrifice. He is the reason why it's Never the End of our Story.
• Look to Christ and Live. 

Robert M. Daines

• Are we so focused on our own needs and desires that we're ignoring the sacrifices of others around us for us? 
• Are you lipsyncing instead of singing the song of redeeming love? 
• Reach out and offer love and hope to someone on the margins. 
• The more you learn about the Savior, the easier it is to trust in him and his plan. 
• God is the Father of all Mercies and all Comfort. 
• We worship our Father, not a Formula. 
• We aren't finished until we see Christ as the Face of our Father's love, and follow Him and not our Rules. 
• Our Covenants are fundamental to our Relationships. They're not rules to earn His love. He already loves us perfectly, our purpose is to understand His love for us. 
• Covenants are the Shape of God's Embrace. 
• To serve in this Church is to Stand in the River of God's love.

Carlos A. Godoy

• You will be happier in life with the Gospel of Christ in your life. 
• The decision of one can affect a whole chain of descendants. 
• Anything broken can be mended through Jesus Christ.
• Our Decisions of Today will affect our Future and the Future of our Family Members. 
• We should be more Valiant instead of lukewarm for our own sakes and the sake of our posterity. 

D. Todd Christofferson

• Unless Authority is given, Ordinances cannot be administered in Righteousness. 
• Sealing Authority is necessary for ANY ordinances performed in the church.
• If nothing had come from the restoration but the sealing power, it would have been worth the cost.
• God's pattern with family can Begin with You. You can add strength to your chain and perhaps help to restore the broken links. 
• The reason why the Earth was created was so that Families could be formed and sealed together. 
• No one can be Exalted alone.

Ian S. Ardern

• Your good works brighten the lives and lighten the load of those who need it desperately. 
• Compassion has no bounds.
• Despite our efforts, we won't heal every one we encounter, but we can make a difference in the lives of everyone we encounter. 
• Give what you're able, then allow Christ to make the final effort. 
• It is unlikely you'll know the recipients of your dollars, your time, your compassion. But have faith that your efforts are helping and changing others.
• Turn your heart towards the wellbeing of others.

Dallin H. Oaks

• Our Heavenly Father loves all His children so much that he wants All his Children to live in a Kingdom of Glory for forever. 
• All the children of God, will ultimately inherit one of three kingdoms of Glory.
• Exaltation can only be obtained through faithfulness in Covenants made. 
• The Plan completely honors your agency.
• The Gospel of Christ challenges to Become Something rather than just Knowing Something. 
• Because of Christ and His Atonement, when we fall short in this life we can repent and rejoin the Covenant path.
• Salvation is an individual matter, but Exaltation is a Family matter. 
• God won't force us to be in a sealing relationship against our will. 

Saturday Afternoon

Neil L. Anderson

• As we are honest in our tithes, God will open the windows of heaven and pour out blessings insomuch that there will be no room to receive them. 
• The windows of heaven open in many ways. Some are temporal, some are spiritual. Some are subtle and easy to overlook. Trust in the Lord's timing. The blessings will Always Come. 
• The only permanent solution to poverty on the earth is the Gospel of Christ.
• As you trust in the Lord, the blessings of God will follow.
• Your tithes are allowing the blessings of the Temple to be in places only the Lord could forsee.
• Because of your tithes, the Church is being established in places you may never visit or know. But they are making a difference. 
• The spiritual power of tithing isn't decided by the amount contributed but by the power of the trust we've placed in the Lord. 
• The blessings of tithing come in many ways. 
• If you pay your tithing, you will want for nothing.
• There will be those who cheer us forward and those who do not. 

Jan E. Newman

• Each person must dig deep to find the Rock. We each must put in our own efforts to find a firm foundation to stand on.
• To build our lives upon the rock of the Savior, we must dig deep, moving the sand away, so that we can establish a firm foundation.
• For the Rising Generation it's not enough for Faith in the Lord to be a tradition of the older generations. They must learn and know for themselves.
• Don't let the voice of the Covenant people be silenced in the Rising Generation. Teach them. Have them come to know Jesus. 
• Feast upon the Words of Christ Daily. As we do so we'll be told how to face the difficulties in life that we never thought we'd have to face. 
• What does Feasting Upon the Lord look like? It looks like whatever works for You and Your Family and then strive to do better each day. 
• Don't give up. Don't worry about accomplishing something grand every time. Just be consistent in your efforts. 
• We cannot allow our covenant voice to become muted or silenced when it comes to Him.
• You are doing much better than you think. Just keep working at it. 
• You may forget the Savior for a season, but I promise you He will never Forget You. 

Joaquin E. Costa

• The source of our Strength is Faith in Jesus Christ.
• Faith in Christ is what gives us the energy to face the trials in our lives. 
• Our Covenants aren't Transactional, they're Transformational.
• We don't come to Jesus because we're perfect. We come because we want to become perfect through him.
• In the days we fail to remember the Lord, he is still there. He'll be there tomorrow always to comfort and to tell us that he loves us. 
• The reward for keeping the commandments and covenants of God is Heavenly Power. Heavenly power to withstand and have strength to get through the trials in our lives.
• Trust in God. He brings power to our weakness, and comfort to our grief. 

Gary E. Stevenson

• God given gifts make gifted people. 
• God endows his children with many spiritual gifts, making them spiritually gifted people. 
• A gift alone does not a master make. It is through painstaking practice and effort in order to reach the highest levels of artistry. 
• Exercising spiritual gifts requires spiritual exercise. 
• 4 Guiding Principles in Recognizing the Promptings of the Spirit
• 1. Stand in Holy Places
• 2. Stand with Holy People
• 3. Testify of Holy Truths as Often as You can.
• 4. Listen to the Holy Spirit
• If you hope to feel the Spirit, be in a place where the Spirit can easily dwell. 
• The Spirit cannot be restrained from attending a gathering of holy people. If you hope to feel the Spirit, be with people where the Spirit can easily dwell.
• Find your strength in numbers. Find good friends. Be good friends. Stand with holy people.
• The Comforter always shares his voice when we use our voice on his behalf. 
• The Spirit doesn't get our attention by shouting and shaking, but by whispering and nudging. 
• Spiritual matters cannot be forced. You can cultivate an environment to encourage spiritualness to occur, but you cannot force it. 
• You do not need to be led in the Spirit in ALL things. Use your intelligence and act with your best understanding. 
• A desire to be led by the Spirit is a strength, but it needs to be partnered with our own understanding.
• If we do not receive guidance from the Spirit, we should use our best judgement. 
• Look at the Mirror and say to yourself: Wow. Look at me! I'm amazing! I'm a child of God. God loves me. Knows me. And wants the best for me. 

Yoon Hwan Choi

• If we want Joy. Stay on the Path. If you want to be Happy. Make Covenants and Keep them in our Lives. 
• You may ask Heavenly Father for peace, but the answer may be different than the one you're expecting. 
• The Greatest lesson we can learn in Mortality is that when God speaks and we obey, we will always be right. 
• Whenever we're asked to serve in a calling, he sees our needs and the blessings we can be given and the trials we can overcome as we serve. 
• As we Yoke ourselves to Christ, we can do things we can't do on our own because he can help us. 
• Keeping Covenants actually makes life easier. 

Alan T. Phillips

• Life is challenging. You may feel overwhelmed, isolated, exhausted. Know that you are a child of God and members of his Family will restore a sense of belonging and purpose. 
• You are not an accidental by product of nature, a cosmic orphan, where there is design there is a Designer. Your life has meaning and purpose. 
• Religion is not only about our relationship with God, it is also about our relationship with each other. 
• True Religion is the Tie that Binds us to God and to Each Other. 
• How we treat one another truly matters. 
• Our Journey to God is often found Together. 
• Judge less. Love more. Extend the pure love of Christ through our words and actions. 
• Christ is our Rescuer and the Healer of our Souls.
• We are not and never need be alone.
• Faith requires work. 
• Faith can be challenging and requires choices. But prayers are answered and answers can be felt. Some of the realest things in life can't be seen but Are Felt. 

Ronald A. Rasband

• The Lord needs you.
• If ye have desires to serve God, then ye are called to the work.
• We need you. We. Need. You.
• Take your know how, coupled with your time honored testimonies and go and serve. 

Saturday Evening 

Gary B. Sabin

• There are many things that are interesting in this world, but few are truly important. 
• Building upon the foundation of Christ is essential to our happiness. 
• In spite of our limitations so long as we try our best we will hear from the Lord. "Well done." 
• Our life is a purposeful adventure. 
• Withhold not good from them when it is due when it is in your power to do so.
• Part of greatness is kindness.
• If our weaknesses were revealed, hopefully we'd be more considerate and welcoming of others and they too would return the favor to us. 
• A true follower of Christ is known by how compassionate they treat other people. 
• Seeing life from an eternal vantage point provides clarity, comfort and hope. 
• Do not take your blessings for granted. Life becomes magical when blessings are appreciated. 
• Gratitude gives birth to a multitude of other virtues. 

Joni L. Koch

• When we choose not to be humble, we end up being humiliated. 
• Humility is a willingness to submit to the will of the Lord. It is being teachable. It is a vital catalyst for Spiritual Growth. 
• Are we letting God prevail in our lives? 
• Let our strong opinions be swallowed by even stronger conviction. 
• After you've done everything you can, leave the rest in God's hands. He'll help out with the rest. 

Tamara W. Runia

• Are you too focused on the little picture? Do you need to zoom out to see the big picture?
• Viewing from a new vantage point changes everything. It can change things to a size that seems more manageable. 
• Because of Christ. It all works out. It's all gonna be okay. 
• Worry feels a lot like love...but it's not the same. Take a more hopeful approach. 
• Everyone needs a cheerleader. Someone who lovingly reminds you that You Can. 
• You don't chase after your loved ones who feel love. You call to them. Stand where you are. 
• Choose hope. 
• Silence the critical voice and instead focus on what your children are already doing and cheering them on. 
• Is what you're about to do or say helpful...or hurtful? 
• Tell your loved ones in spoken and unspoken ways what they long to hear. 
• Your kids want you to listen to them and not listen to a lecture. 
• Stay on your knees until your casual prayer turns mighty. 
• Our Hope changes the way they see themselves and who they really are. 
• Our direction is more important than our speed. 
• If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go together the pace will be slow and steady. 
• The Lord has the power to turn any nightmare you're going through into a blessing. 
• Provide a hope and a heart your children can come home to.
• Others need your love more than your judgement. 
• Love is the thing that changes hearts. It is the purest motive of all and others can feel it.
• No home is a failure unless it stops trying.
• Those who love the most and the longest, win. 

Ulisses Soares

• Have respect for all of God's children. Abandon prejudice. 
• We all have divine nature, heritage, and potential. 
• Promote respect. 
• We need to do whatever we can in our spheres of influence to preserve the dignity and respect every son and daughter of God deserves. 
• There is no place for prejudiced thoughts or actions in the community of saints. 
• Find more what we have in common than what we have as differences.
• We're all from the same origin river in God, but we flow through different cultures and ethnicities. 

To read/watch/see these talks in their entirety please visit: 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/10?lang=eng

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Surprise!

 Working Retail you kinda come to expect having to deal with random and odd things. 

Most of the time it's people related odd things.

But then occasionally something just...weird happens.

Take the other night.

I was the closing manager on duty which meant that I'm in charge of counting the tills at the end of the night and balancing everything and getting the deposit ready and such.

And we have these black boxes at each register that we use to hold the bigger bills that we get in in the store.

These black boxes are opened at least once a day every day. Because we at least have to check them at night to make sure there's no money in there when we balance the till.

So I go to close down the last register.

Which is usually the first register. aka the register that gets used all the time. And therefore ALWAYS has money in the black box because we rely mostly on register 1 for customers and use the remainder mostly for backing up if the lines get long.

And I pull out the black box. 

Open the back.

Reach in to grab the wad of bills and coupons in there.

and a MOTH flies out of the box and at my face!!!

A MOTH

Like. This box is opened DAILY. 

HOW did a MOTH get into that?!?!!? 

And it wasn't like one of those tiny moths either.

No the body was at least the size of a quarter if not bigger. 

*shakes head*

I'm assuming that it somehow managed to climb in through the money slit overnight and couldn't get back out. 

It's just....so weird.

Like you don't expect a bug to come out at you from there. Ever.

Like EVER.

Crazy.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves. 
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Where Was the Common Sense?

*exhales* 

Sometimes....sometimes I wonder what in the world is going on in my coworker's heads. 

Especially with our current newbie. 

Like I know they mean well. I know that they try to make things....easier....but they end up making life more difficult at work. 

It's like a "That was a cool idea...but bad execution." sort of thing.

But mostly it's a "How did you get THAT out of what you were TOLD?" 

Like.....

So yesterday and today we had a Fish Adoption Event at my store.

The first of it's kinda really. As Starsmet hasn't ever done one to my knowledge. 

Where we got in 47 larger fish that were in need of homes. (46 technically as 1 Silver Dollar unfortunately didn't survive the trip to our store) 

And like since we've never done this before...there's been a bit of a learning curve with it.

Like realizations of "Hey this fish are gonna be a lot bigger than our normal fish....how are we gonna safely get them home?"

Which the solution was to have the DC send us extra bags for the larger fish.

But one of my other coworkers also had the idea to save the styrofoam boxes that all the fish came in so that we could place our largest fish in bags and then put them in the box so that they could safely travel. As some of the koi and catfish we got in were as long as my forearm if not as long as my arm. So like...HUGE compared to our normal under hand sized fish. 

And yesterday our Greenie coworker was the closing Petcare. 

But it was okay because one of our experienced workers was there to show them the ropes. To show the greenie how to catch the larger fish and fill out paperwork and such.

Only it appears that the knowledge went in one ear and right out the other. *exhales* 

My greenie coworker had watched my experienced coworker catch one of the larger koi and place it in a large bag and then place it in a styrofoam box for the customer to take home.

We only had like...12 of those boxes. And I know 2 were used yesterday before I left. 

My Head Manager came in around 11 this morning.

In time to hear my Greenie coworker (who got the unfortunate clopening shift of closing last night and opening this morning) ask "Hey can you get more boxes from the back?"

Only...there were NO more boxes. 

Which was weird because They should have only been used for our largest fish. The 6 giant Koi potentially 3-6 of the larger catfish and like maybe 3 of the Cichlids we got in. 

Which there were still THREE large koi and THREE large catfish and ONE large Cichlid that would potentially need those boxes here in the store. 

So we should have STILL had boxes.

But we didn't.

Why???

Because my greenie saw my more experienced coworker put the koi in a bag in a box for the customer for the adoption event and just assumed that ALL of the adoption fish had to be taken out that way. No matter the size.

Which meant that customers took home 5-8 inch fish that didn't really need the boxes home in these GIANT boxes and GIANT bags. 

Just.... just.....ugggggggghhhh.

Like WHERE was the common sense? 

WHERE?!?! 

HOW could you look at our smaller handsized fish and think "Yes, this fish needs a giant bag and box!!" 

I just...I don't understand.

And it's sooo frustrating because it left us scrambling to figure out HOW to potentially get any of the OTHER fish home. 

Our current solution is to just use our large garbage bags and double or triple bag the fish.

But luckily no other fish were adopted after I came in to work....

But it's just....a headache. Like. WHY. I know the greenie meant well. But WHY. 

*exhales*

Still. Our adoption event was a success overall I feel.

As we managed to adopt out 25 fish out of 46!! :D So just barely over half the fish found homes! Woot!!

Though that leaves us with 21 fish that are still looking for homes. 

*shakes head*

Currently we have the space for them, thankfully, to hang out at our store. But hopefully we can find them homes sooner rather than later. We'll have to see how it goes. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves. 
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Upcoming Upheaval

 I received some ... ... not great news this morning. 

My Grandma Dirchi, the last Grandparent I have....ended up in the ER last night because apparently she's been unable to go to the bathroom for a couple of days. 

Which. Is not good. 

Further testing has shown a mass on her Pancreas. 

And the doctor has confirmed that what he's seeing looks like an Advanced Stage of Pancreatic Cancer with a Tumor that's compressing the vessels that go into her abdomen and liver. 

They're waiting for more results to get a better idea of what's going on.

But there's a strong chance that my grandma won't see the end of the year. She may not even make it to Thanksgiving.

And it's....hard to think about.

Like you never want someone to pass away. Especially family.  

But in another sense I've been.....kinda expecting something like this? Like I've known that my Grandma hasn't been doing the best recently and that she's been in a decline. 

But there's a difference in knowing that she's going to pass away sometime in the future....and in knowing that it's gonna happen sooner rather than later. 

There's also all the thoughts of 'what isn't going to happen now.' 

Like knowing that when I do eventually get married and have kids....my kids will never know any of their great-grandparents. 

But there's also the thoughts of what has happened. Like she's not going to see me married with kids, but at least she has seen my siblings get married and at least my siblings have a couple of pictures of grandma holding their babies. 

It's...yah....it's mixed feelings.

And I honestly don't quite know how to react to it all.

Part of it is because I have a bunch of other stressors on my plate currently. Most of them work related. And this year I've been kinda in a "focus on this crisis and then worry about the next crisis after this crisis is over" mode. 

So my focus this week has been mostly on the Fish Adoption event happening tomorrow and Saturday.

But now I also have the worry of being able to see my Grandma at least once more, but being comforted in the fact that I saw her just a couple of weeks ago as I had dropped by to visit her after I'd finished helping my Brother with a bit of cleaning up of his house and helping him and his family move out. 

There's the stress of knowing that my Daddoo is gonna be returning early from his Summer Home (they were planning to be back next month but the deadline has been greatly pushed up) to be here for his Mom, but at the same time knowing that My Brother and his Family are currently living in my Daddoo's Winter Home as there's been a bit of a gap between them moving out of their old home and moving into their new home. 

There's the pressure knowing that more than likely the two families will be living under the same roof for a couple of weeks. Because there's no way for my brother to move into his house sooner when both he and his wife are working and thought they still had nearly two months to get out of Daddoo's home and that they'll need help moving out quicker but my work schedule prevents me from being able to help when they need help. 

There's the stress of knowing that my godparents will be flying out 'soon' to also see Grandma and that they will be staying with me, but I most likely won't be able to get the time off from work to chauffer them around and might not see much of them because again I've been scheduled mostly closing shifts since my bestie left. So there's a bit of conflict and stress there as well.

There's....just so much going on right now....

I just....I'm not sure how to feel. 

So yah. Rough day. Lots of feelings and thoughts. 

I just hope that it all goes...well...as well as it can go. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves. 
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Goodbye Sun

It's been...kinda a weird month?

Like month and a halfish?

Because usually I work mostly morning shifts. 

One closing shift. The rest are mornings.

But that's changed recently. 

It went from 1 closing and 4 opening to like 2 closings and 3 openings....and now I'm doing like 4 closings/mids and 1 opening shift.

And I know the root cause of this sudden shift.

It's because one of our main closing managers (and my work bestie) quit. 

And despite knowing that they were quiting for months in advance....no moves have been made to replace them yet.

And it's frustrating in multiple ways to have to work so many closing shifts.

Like part of it is just because there's a lot of flux in other areas in the store right now too with multiple workers starting their new semesters in school, others going on vacations, and yet others needing to be out for various sicknesses and surgeries. 

So I have no idea if this is a new permanent thing or if it's just a temporary thing that will change once things 'settle' again.

Honestly, I'm expecting it to be like this until into the New Year if no new managers are hired. *exhales* 

And it sucks major.

Because I do not want my life to be work.

Working 11-7 or 2-10 is not my ideal. It's like...the entire day is taken up with work. You can't do anything before and can't do anything after. (because who wants to get out of the house and do things only to go and do work things after?? Not me.) 

I much preferred having morning shifts that allowed me to do things at night. (not that I did much. I'm an introvert I like staying HOME) 

But there's like....no one else management wise that /can/ work closings? 

Like I have one other manager I've been switching with where one of us is working the mid and the other will close.

But we have FOUR other managers. Why are only TWO of us constantly closing?

Granted 2 of the managers are stocking managers which means they need to be present in the mornings because that's when we work truck.

Head Manager apparently shouldn't be working closings?? Like they're a morning or mid morning manager only because there's supposed to be there for 'most of the day' -plus they also have family obligations and such.

And VP Manager...usually works the mids only. With oneish closing shift a week. Only they've been having multiple health issues over the past little while....it's been hit and miss for how they'll do at work each day.

But like....in a 7 day week...I feel like -negating the 2 stocking managers- that with FOUR other managers in the store we should each be only working like 2 closing shifts in a week. 

I just....*exhales* It's frustrating. I much prefer my morning shifts. There's less stress and less customers. 

Like...granted. The change of pace of working mostly closings hasn't been ...bad... per se. I've enjoyed it to an extent. But it's not something I want to be doing long term. I like temporary changes. But I do not want this to be permenant. 

Yet as it goes....I don't see how it will change. It's probably only gonna get worse with the holidays.

*exhales* 

The joys of being a manager apparently.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves. 
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

It's Gonna Be Big ... Right?

So. My store is doing something different this weekend.

In like the 11 years I've been at my job....we've never done a Fish Adoption Event. 

But it was a concept brought up...somehow in some way....that our DC fish supplier has fish that are 'oversized' ones that are too big to usually be sent out to stores since not all our fish tanks are the same size. 

But our store has some bigger tanks and room for extra fish.

So we volunteered to receive in the oversized fish. Some Cichlids, Catfish, and Koi that are 'too big.' 

And like it didn't seem like that big of a deal. "Yes, let's get these fish adopted out and find them homes. We'll set up a few tanks and such for them."

But....corporate is making it a big deal.

Lke apparently the entire company is gonna be watching this weekend to see how this "Fish Adoption Event" goes. Because if it goes well then that means that there's potential for other sister stores to partner with this DC and other DCs to hold more fish adoption events for fish that are 'too big.' 

But if it flops....yah I don't want to imagine what happens if it flops. On the good side it will be just a 'oh hum guess we won't do that.' thing. But if it's more.....more? Idk. It's....stressful not knowing how this is going to turn out. 

Like we've been given permission to write off as many tanks and such that we need to make it look good. Make the event a success. There's been adverstising -flyers-, there's been talk of doing ballons and making it all fancy and like....apparently it's going to be featured on our store sites and such? Like the pressure. *exhales* 

I liked this concept more when it was just a lowkey thing. "Hey we're adopting out some fish." but now it's a whole production and I do not want to deal with it....and yet I'm dealing with it.

Lke the set up and such has been fun. The anticipation for seeing these larger fish is huge. 

So I hope it goes well. I hope it's a success and that we'll do these events will become more popular and commonplace.

But we won't know. Not until it happens.

So yah...the stress of this upcoming weekend is something I do not need in my life right now.

And yet here it is.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves. 
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

The Stumbling Blocks

 Have you ever wanted to ...start something? Or at least get back to something you haven't done in a while?

And like...the moment you decide "Yes!" I'm going to do the thing! 

Something happens and you just like...get knocked off your feet?

Kinda got a double whammy of that yesterday.

Like. I've been thinking for a while "Yes, I should get back to blogging." Which starting it back up on the 13th anniversary of me starting blogging felt like a good time to start.

But there's also been this thought in my head the past monthish of "I want to go back to church." 

Because I haven't been to my ward since ... like the Spring? 

And I heard a couple of weeks ago that my current ward was combining with another ward. 

Why? Because both wards were tiiinnyy by themselves. Like I thought I was just coming on off weeks because there would only be like maybe 30 people there.

Yet apparently that was the norm.

Which is weird for a ward where you expect at least around 100 if not up to 300 people.

In any case. I decided to make the effort to go to Church yesterday because 1. I wasn't sick/headachey 2. I wasn't working 3. I was in town and had no family obligations.....and I really just wanted to check out the people and see if there were any guys I might want to talk to.

Yet....

It's ... frustrating.

Because like I have this desire to go to church. This desire to hear the gospel. This desire to be spiritually fed.

Yet. it's the PEOPLE in the ward that end up stressing me out and make it difficult to want to go. I already deal with so much stress at work that I don't want to just add another stressor onto my shoulders. Church should be a place to relax. To listen to the spirit. To enjoy being around others.

And I can't.

Because. EVERY. SINGLE. FREAKING. TIME. I go to church....there's always. ALWAYS someone behind me that's coughing. Aka. That's SICK and Should BE HOME and not SPREADING THEIR GERMS EVERYWHERE.

*exhales* 

Like it makes me sooo frustrated that it feels like people totally forgot about the pandemic and it's affects. Like if you HAVE to be at Church then why not WEAR A MASK?? *shakes head* 

Having had to work in a pandemic world in freaking RETAIL the entire time and constantly be on guard at work to avoid getting sick there....it frustrates me to no end that there are still individuals in church who....just don't care about the potential harm they can do to others by coming in sick?

Like I get it. It wasn't really something people thought about before COVID. People would go everywhere sick all the time before that. It was the norm. 

But I feel like this is a norm we shouldn't have gotten back to. Like if you're sick. STAY HOME. Missing a day of church isn't going to affect your spiritual well-being. We did like a whole year or two of 'church form home' it's fine to take a 'sick day' and STAY HOME. 

*exhales* 

So yah. It...it was hard. It IS hard to want to be at church when I know that the people there....just...I don't want to say 'don't care' but like... I would like to not have to worry about getting sick from being stuck in the same room as a hundred other people for an hour or so. I can't relax and focus on the spirit and the teachings around me because I'm so focused on Hacking Hannah behind me who coughs every 3-15 minutes during the meeting. 

Like this is why I haven't been to church since the spring. Because the thought of getting stuck sitting near another coughing person stresses me out. It triggers migraines. I GOT a migraine yesterday because I was SOOO tense that entire hour that I was barely breathing. 

I could have avoided the migraine by just staying home.

And like I want to get back into the habit of going to church. I want to participate in my ward and go to activities and soicalize. 

But I can't do that if individuals in the ward keep retriggering me by being SICK. *exhales* I don't want to be places that stress me out. I really don't. And who knows it may be another month or so before I attempt again because I do not like getting migraines. I do not like being in situations that give me migraines. 

It's just...frustrating.

Also frustrating because it also prevented me from making a strong restart in continuing blogging. Because I wanted to post yesterday. But with the migraine looking at a computer screen to type and having the brain power to write is definitely a no go. 

So yah. Starting blogging again is getting off to a rock start.

Going back to church again is also back to a rocky start. 

The joys of trying to re/start things. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

13 Years Later

 It's weird to think that even a couple of years ago I thought that I would never not be blogging.

Like it was easy to write and post my thoughts most every day. The main exceptions being if I had a really bad migraine, or happened to be out of town.

But like. Blogging was just something I did....

But then there just came a point where it just....faded out.

Which honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a bit of depression involved.

Because thoughts of "what is the point?" usually don't follow more happy/positive individuals around. 

My voice has been...mostly silenced for the past little while. Even though I know I have things I can write about I just haven't had the energy to like...take the time to write it out. 

In some ways I miss the 'old days' where I could blog daily. Where I was posting stories monthly.

And I finally feel like I may be coming around the curve. Getting my energy up. Getting my motivation up.

It's hard to know for sure....but like....this past week I've finally felt like I could breathe. That I'm not going from stressing about one crisis to the next. From trying to solve one problem to solving the next problem. I can breathe for a moment. Relax for a moment.

And hopefully that moment is long enough to get those creative juices back up and running. To have recharged myself enough to see the work ahead of me and not worry about the effort or time involved but instead looking forward to seeing the end result. 

September has always been a month of beginnings for me.

Let's see if we can begin once again.

Happy Blogaversy guys.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves. 
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi