Happy Thanksgiving Turkey Day!
Now....I'm going to cheat.
About six months ago I had to give a talk in church.
On Gratitude....Soooo
I figured since it was a day of Thanksgiving...
I'd just copy and paste this talk and then go enjoy some Turkey! :)
Experiencing and Expressing Gratitude
HI! Before I start my talk I want you to do two things. One look up. Two put a hand on your heart. Personally I feel like the first two minutes of a talk are extremely important because that’s when you, the congregation, decide on whether or not you’ll listen to the rest of the talk or not. So at least I know that if you don’t learn anything else from what I say today, at least your hearts have been touched and you’ve seen the light.
Okay...I admit that I got that saying from a talk given in my home ward a while back, but I thought it appropriate to use for this singles ward.
Last Sunday I was home with my family. We were sitting in our living room chatting before we needed to go to church all enjoying each other’s company, when I randomly pointed to a picture on the wall and said something along the lines of “Dad, after you go onto the next life I would like to have that picture.” This of course started a whole round of my siblings and I claiming different things around the house. The conversation had kind of died off when unexpectedly a temple picture my neighbor had made for my mom, that hadn’t yet been claimed by a family member, suddenly jerked off the wall and came crashing down onto the mantle piece, knocking over a ceramic pot, and a couple of glass thermometers to the floor below. The glass thermometers of course, broke spreading their oily alcoholic liquid all over the carpet. The pot amazingly didn’t break, but as it fell to the floor it hit a hug pot that was holding a bunch of cacti, and chipped that pot. You’d think that the nail just gave out or something causing the picture to fall but when my mom went to pick up the picture frame to save it from being damaged by the liquid, she discovered that the nail, which had been driven into at an upright angle into the wall was still stuck into picture frame. Weird isn’t it?
The topic I was given to speak about today, I consider a hard topic to talk about. Why? It’s a topic where I can easily go into a Thankyoumony and I think that might be very difficult to sit and listen to. That is why I started out with the story I did. To catch your interest.
Gratitude. Everybody knows what Gratitude is right? Thankfulness and such. But being the outstanding and awesome institute and church going young adult I am, I wanted to double check my thinking to make sure this talk didn’t go in the wrong direction. So while in an institute class I checked a place most people would look when preparing to give a talk. The Bible Dictionary. The problem? Gratitude wasn’t in the Bible Dictionary. So I looked in my next best option. The Topical Guide. The result? Gratitude: See Ingratitude; Thanksgiving. Not very helpful, but I did what the Guide told me to and looked up Thanksgiving. That result? Some scriptures dealing with Thanksgiving! Yay! But I didn’t want to deal with turkeys, so, upon returning to the apartment I decided to look up the synonyms of gratitude in Microsoft Word. Thankfulness, appreciation and gratefulness was my reward for that effort. And finally before going to the March Ensign like I’d been told to I went to the one place that any upstanding, yet time strapped, college student would go to find sources. I googled it. Similar results.
Now back to my story and how it connects with gratitude. I mentioned four key objects in my story and they are:
A nail.
Glass thermometers.
A pot
And cacti.
In order to hang a picture on a wall there are three different ways you can put a nail in the wall. One, you can pound it in at a downward angle, which is very uncommon because anything you hang on that nail will most likely fall off and will probably crack, or break. The second way to place a nail is straight into the wall. Most pictures will stay up, placing a nail this way, unless the wall is hollow and the nail gets pushed into the wall or accidentally pulled out, then down comes crashing the picture. The safest way then is to place the nail at an upright angle to prevent the nail from being pushed in or falling out. But as proven by the temple picture last Sunday. It won’t always keep your pictures safe.
Now with a nail you always have to pierce a hole into something in order to get the nail to stay. And when the nail is pulled out, unless you fill it in with some kind of putty you leave a scar in the wall. Sometimes these holes are very obvious to see. Like with a nail. Other times they’re a little more difficult to spot like those caused by thumbtacks. But each leaves an influence.
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” -- Albert Schweitzer
Everybody has a wall filled with nails that represent different points in your life. Each nail is hammered into the wall at different angles and each nail has an object hanging from it representing things that you feel that you appreciate, or influence you.
I bet there have been times when you’ve been feeling down, alone, useless. You’ve failed a test, your hair isn’t cooperating, or you haven’t had a date in a long long time. Often having friends there to cheer you up is soothing to the soul. Holes that have been placed in your spirit are plugged up with a ‘nail’ of gratitude towards those who pay attention to us. They care about what we say, without giving the vibe of “I really don’t care about your problems let me tell you about mine” I admit I’ve probably given off that vibe and I can’t say how guilty I feel afterwards that I was trying to put my own needs above others. But it is hard when there are lots of holes that you yourself feel need to be plugged.
The best part though in our chain of gratitude is what can be hung on those nails. Pictures of soothing places, the temple, family members, Christ, your friends, or a favorite cat, big pictures or small, they can provide a source of thankfulness and inspiration until that need is met. Then we might rearrange our wall of pictures to again fill in different needs we require at certain points in our lives. And if our pictures suddenly fall off our walls, maybe that signals that we aren’t showing enough appreciation towards the blessings that picture gives us, like being grateful as members of the church that we have the opportunity to go to the temple to be sealed and have eternal life.
Or if our nails are driven in at downward angles, and the pictures keep falling to the ground it could signal that we need to fix the influences those pictures are giving off whether it be family, friends, or schoolwork. Every problem can be solved though with the help of people you’re close to, or even with the help of our Heavenly Father and Christ when we pray for guidance and recognize their help in all things.
“When we become more fully aware that our success is due in large measure to the loyalty, helpfulness, and encouragement we have received from others, our desire grows to pass on similar gifts. Gratitude spurs us on to prove ourselves worthy of what others have done for us. The spirit of gratitude is a powerful energizer.” -- Wilferd A. Peterson
Gratitude is an attitude, a way of perceiving life, in which individuals are willing to receive and acknowledge the beneficial actions of others on their behalf. Yet often our need to have people acknowledge our efforts can come to prickly results.
Cacti can grow in many shapes, sizes, and heights. But one thing in common is that basically every single one has thorns. This prickly exterior keeps hungry herbivores or in other words bad influences from preying on them. Yet for those who want to help out the cacti-like people, often get hurt in return, stabbed by the thorns. Their defenses coming into play before they realize that a helping hand was before them, not an enemy.
Trying too hard to get gratitude expressed your way can cause people to feel defensive, and in return for your hard work in trying to ‘help others’ you feel like you aren’t appreciated enough for your efforts so the thorns come out and everyone is unhappy.
Ralph Marston asked “What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it-would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have.”
Gratitude is a habit that can be cultivated, causing one to focus on the blessings of life. In order to prevent our thorns from poking out and pushing away others we need to know that.
“Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend… when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present — love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure — the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth.” –Sarah Ban Breathnach
As we go about our days expressing gratitude soon enough we realize that “Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” — William Arthur Ward
“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” — Cynthia Ozick.
But “If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.” — Rabbi Harold Kushner.
Everybody has seen a thermometer, when it gets hot the red line on the thermometer rises, when it gets cold the red line lowers. The thermometers that our temple picture broke were different though. They were tall cylinder shapes with glass bubbles inside filled with some unknown liquid probably mercury like other thermometers. Each bubble had a little plaque hanging below it saying what temperature that bubble represents. Depending on the temperature outside the bubbles of liquid will rise or fall telling you what temperature it is in the room or outside.
You can also compare these liquid thermometers to your gratitude levels. If the thermometer says its 98 degrees outside, then your levels of gratitude towards others are nice and high and you’re more likely to have a positive attitude and will be more likely to help other people’s thankfulness levels rise by pointing out positive things happening in other people’s lives or doing random acts of service. If your gratitude attitude is low like in the 30s then you are the one in need of a positive pill to change your outlook about how life is going for you. You can find joyvels of gratitude towards others are nice and high and you’re more likely to have a positive attitude and will be more likely to help other people’s thankfulness levels rise by pointing out positive things happening in other people’s lives or doing random acts of service. If your gratitude attitude is low like in the 30s then you are the one in need of a positive pill to change your outlook about how life is going for you. You can find joy and raise your gratitude levels by helping out others when you don’t feel like helping out, or just fishing for complements when you’ve done something you feel is great and you want others to tell you what you’ve done is great. Gratitude is a positive experience that comes from recognizing gifts or blessings and feeling thankful.
“Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.” — Author Unknown
Finally the pot. When it was knocked off the mantle this hardy ceramic vessel was luckily empty, no ashes, water, or other objects inside. At least it was empty of the tangible things. Inside of us we each have a pot where gratitude lies. As we go about our days noticing things that we are grateful for and defining challenging circumstances as ways to help us grow, our pot fills up with gratitude, happiness, and appreciation for what we have now instead of what we don’t have as of yet. At anytime you can dip into your pot and spread out a little appreciation towards others around you and help them fill their own pots. By giving to others and seeing their joy at receiving your attention and help, you often get back twice as what you gave in good feelings and sometimes gifts and Walla your pot can become full and overflowing making it almost easy to unthinkingly do acts of kindness and expressing our gratitude easily to others who take the time to help us out.
My dad is a nurse at the VA hospital. Everyday for 8 hours he gives chemo to war victims suffering from cancer. Often to express their gratitude beyond a simple thank you for the help he gives, family members, and the patients themselves will give gifts of food, objects made by them, or knowledge to my dad, who took the time to care and talk with his patients. Instead of just seeing a body needing chemo. Without taking the time to appreciate these war victims my dad would have missed out on many different opportunities to meet people, have favors met, and to gain knowledge along with random gifts. He gives gratitude for the trials his patients have gone through and in return he receives gratitude back.
We have “two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we take; and the larger kind we feel for what we give.” — Edwin Arlington Robinson
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” — Buddha
In closing I want to share with you a poem I found titled “Be Thankful”
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
Author Unknown
“Gratitude should not be just a reaction to getting what you want, but an all-the-time gratitude, the kind where you notice the little things and where you constantly look for the good, even in unpleasant situations. Start bringing gratitude to your experiences, instead of waiting for a positive experience in order to feel grateful.” — Marelisa Fábrega
“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?” — William A. Ward
I say these things in the name of thy son Jesus Christ Amen.
Until you next see these words;
Eat tons of turkey and have fun with family while I will be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the Day!
-Sarnic Dirchi
