12 Years Later

 I don't know if you'd call it Writer's Block or just like a ....general sort of "Meh" mood that's been building and building and building since the pandemic started if not before that point....

But like... ... ... It's been really difficult convincing myself to you know...write. To blog. To post.

I've been spending the last...well...forever just....reading. Not really producing my own content but enjoying other people's works and creativity.

Perhaps it's just burnout. Burnout from writing. Burnout from Pandemic life. Burn out from working Retail. 

Whatever it is...

It just feels like this....Wall. In front of me.

Where I know I have IDEAS and I have Content that I want to blog about. I want to write. I want to do all the things.

But when the moment comes I just...retreat. I go lose myself in reading, in scrolling through various social media.

And I don't write.

Probably because the recurring thought in my mind is "What's the point?" "Does it even matter?" "Who will even care if I post something or not?" 

In a lot of ways I've probably regressed to my first year of college self. To the time when I wondered if I could actually make a difference. If my words would mean something to someone somewhere.

And it's hard to get over my own blocks to reach out to the keyboard. To get my thoughts down on the screen and then to finish said thoughts and share them with whoever is there.

I want to get back into writing more.

It's just....gonna take time.

Baby steps.

It's like starting all a new....and I just...need to find the motiviation to keep going. I managed to keep this blog pretty consistently updated for years....there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to do so now. 

So.

Since today is the 12 year Anniversary of me starting this Blog.

Perhaps it's now that I should try and start over.

Start fresh.

Get back into the mindset of sharing what's on my mind. Getting those thoughts out. Not keeping them bottled up.

After all. I've always considered September to be a time of new beginnings. 

So let's begin again. 

*fingers crossed*

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

192nd Annual General Conference -Sunday Sessions

 Sunday Morning 

D. Todd Christofferson

• No thought can be withheld from God. He knows all. And because he knows all, we need to Trust that he knows what's best for us. 
• Seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. He counsels in wisdom, justice, and great mercy. 
• Just because we're obedient, doesn't mean that the outcomes we want will come on the fixed schedule we want. 
• Things aren't so mechanical. The Lord's blessings aren't like a vending machine where you give the obedience, place your order, and receive the 'goods' that you 'paid' for.
• Rather than get Angry with God, get Close to God. 
• All things work together for Good to them who Love God. 
• We all have our moments where we can't be positive or happy. That's okay though. The Savior is with us in our high moments, but also in our lowest moments. He is in this with you. 

Amy A. Wright

• Christ will help us fix all the broken things in our lives. 
• No one's life can be understood through one magnificent moment or one disastrous disappointment.
• Make the Decision to Go Forth and Change.  
• You are not beyond the Reach of Christ and His Atonement. He can fix all the Broken Things in your Life if you'll Let Him.
• Forgiveness is one of the noblest gifts we can give to each other, and more specifically give to ourselves. 
• Deliverance from our Trials is Different for each of us. Because we're all going to have different solutions, our focus should be less on the Way we are going to be Delivered and more on the Deliverer Himself. 
• There is Nothing in your Life that is so Broken that is beyond the Power of Christ to Fix it. 

Gary E. Stevenson

• Why don't we ALL begin Now? 
• Love. Share. Invite. It's that Easy.
• Our Heavenly Father loves it when he sees us do Selfless acts of Charity. 
• When we show Christlike Love to others, we Teach the Gospel. 
• Miracles can come simply by sharing in a normal and natural way. 
• Sharing isn't about Selling the Gospel. 
• God doesn't need you to be His Sheriff. He wants you to be His Sharer.
• The Invitation to Come and See can Extend Inward to Ourselves. We can help ourselves be uplifted through Sharing.

Michael T. Ringwood

• WE are the Focus of Heavenly Father's Plan. And the Reason for Christ's Mission. 
• At some point we All have to Extend Forgiveness and Also All have To Receive Forgiveness.
• Be determined to keep your Promises.
• Have Gratitude for those who Never Give Up on Us.
• You can Save the Life of others without even knowing that you're doing it. 
• The Miracles we Need will Come on the Day they're supposed to be Fulfilled.

Ronald A. Rasband

• There's a Scourge attacking the World. Yours and My Religious Freedom.
• We claim the privilege of worshiping God according to the dictates of our own conscience. Let us worship how, where, or what we may. 
• God loves his Children in Every Nation of the World.
• We believe in freedom, kindness, and fairness for ALL of God's Children. We are All Brothers and Sisters. 
• Things we Learn from Religious Freedom 1. God is in the Center of our Lives. 2. Foster expressions of belief and hope. 3. Helps us to serve others. 4. Acts as a Unifying Force to help us shape our Character/Morality.
• We all have the right to speak our convictions. We don't have to believe what others believe. But we can allow them to speak just as we want to speak about what we believe. 
• We should be grateful for the ability to express our beliefs freely.
• Every Act of Kindness and Concern for someone struggling is one of the ways Each of Us can go about Going Good.

Hugo E. Martinez

• Striving to be Self Reliant is part of our Work along the Covenant Path. 
• You are learning and growing everyday. 
• We can teach by our Good Example, working with others, studying the scriptures, and following the teachings of Christ. 
• It is important to make your own Goals to learn and grow while those around you teach, counsel, and support you in making said goals.
• Love them. Spoil them. Make them Laugh. 
• 1. Be Good Examples of Service to Others 2. Live the Teachings of self reliance and help others. 3. Obey the commandment to build your Self Reliance.

Russell M. Nelson

• I pray daily that you'll be protected from the attacks of the adversary and have the strength to make it through the trials that you face.
• Any war is a horrifying violation of everything that Christ stands for and teaches. 
• None of us can control nations or the actions of others. But we can control ourselves. 
• End the conflicts that are raging in your heart, your home, and your life. 
• Bury any and all inclination to hurt others. 
• It can be difficult to let go of Anger that seems so Justified.
• Forgive ALL. 
• We are followers of the Prince of PEACE. Now more than ever we need the Peace only He can bring. 
• How can we expect peace to exist in the world if We're not individually seeking peace and harmony?
• We should set the example for all the world to follow. 
• We have never needed positive spiritual momentum more than we do now to counteract the evil that is intensifying around us. 
• 5 Actions We Can Take to Maintain Positive Spiritual Momentum. 1. Get on the Covenant Path and Stay There. 2. Discover the Joy of Daily Repentance. 3. Learn about God and how He works. 4. Seek and Expect Miracles. 5. End Conflict in your Personal Life.
• The Covenant Path is the Only path that leads to exaltation and eternal life. 
• Repenting is the Key to Progress. 
• Pure Faith keeps us moving forward on the covenant path. 
• Satan delights in your Misery. CUT IT SHORT. Cast him and his misery out of your life. 
• Returning to the Covenant Path does not mean that your Life will Be Easy.
• One of the greatest challenges in our day is distinguishing between the Truths of God and the Counterfeits of Satan.
• Cast Satan's influence out of your life. Do not follow him to his gulf of misery and endless woe. 
• A testimony that is not nourished daily can crumble quickly. 
• Some Miracles can take time and not be exactly what you wanted but will be what you needed. 
• The Lord will bless you with Miracles If. You. Believe. In. Him. 
• The Lord is helping you to move the mountains in your life. 

Afternoon Session 

Dallin H. Oaks

• The commandments to love God and our neighbors is First because it invites us to seek to understand love like God feels love.  
• ALL of God's children (with minor exceptions) will find kingdoms of glory in the life to come. 
• All the kingdoms of God are more wonderful than we comprehend. 
• The Kingdom of Glory we receive in the final judgement is determined by the laws we chose to abide in Heavenly Father's plan. That's why there are multiple kingdoms. So ALL god's children can receive a kingdom in which they can happily abide.
• The Lord has taught us to esteem All of His children as our Brothers and Sisters and we want to share our spiritual and temporal abundance with everyone. 
• Our family centeredness isn't limited to mortal relationships. We also believe in eternal relationships. 
• Personal circumstances may change, but God's eternal plan will not change. 
• Each of us must live with differences. We should live peaceably with those who don't believe as we believe. We are all children of Heavenly Father. 
• God desires for all of us to strive for His greatest possible blessings. 

Adeyinka A. Ojediran

• Each of us is a Prince or Princess on a quest to learn in this mortal life while seeking to find our way back home to our Father's Kingdom.
• Repent and I will receive you. Come unto me, and ye shall partake of the fruit of the Tree of Life.
• We are saved as we endure to the end by following the example of Christ.
• The Savior Emphasizes: 1. The Holy Ghost can teach us, remind us of the Savior's teachings, and abide with us forever. 2. The Savior instituted the Sacrament, that we may always remember him and have his Spirit be with us. 
• Baptism gets us through the Gate, the Sacrament helps us to move forward up the path to Eternal Life. 
• Always take the Sacrament so you can Always have the Spirit with you.
• It is always important to take the time to recharge your battery by connecting it to the proper source. 

Jorg Klebingat

• God won't force us to do Good, and the Devil can't force us to do Evil. 
• It is our choice. It is our strength being tested. Not God's. We will reap what our choices have sown.
• Today it is impossible to live our faith without facing scorn from others. We may be caught in the cross hairs of those advocating the "Eat, Drink, and Be Merry" ideology when we're trying to follow the teachings of Christ.
• Let us be confident, not apologetic. Faithful, not Fearful as we hold up the Lord's Light. 
• A God who makes no demands is the equivalent of a God that doesn't exist. 
• Let us joyfully live the Savior's expectation to live by Every Word that he's told us.
• It is wrong to follow a multitude to do evil. Crowds cannot make right what God has declared to be wrong. 
• Embrace those who don't believe as we believe.  
• It's a good day to be good.

Mark L. Pace

• Gospel learning that leads to true conversion needs the influence of the Holy Ghost.
• Your experiences with the scriptures must be your own.
• There is no substitute for the time YOU spend in the scriptures. 
• My most important priorities at home have become more clear since Come Follow Me has been made a priority. 
• Feel the Holy Ghost more welcomed into your life as you study the scriptures and His Teachings.
• Their Faith precedes the Miracle. 

Ulisses Soares

• When we are in Awe of Jesus Christ and his Gospel, we are happier.
• Our testimony of the Savior will be strengthened, will keep Christ alive in us, and will keep our lives rooted in him. 
• Complacency causes us to take the Gospel gifts for Granted and we run the Risk of Neglecting our Immersion in the Gospel of Christ and the Covenants we have made. 
• The distance between us and the Lord will increase if we don't actively seek to keep Him close.
• Complacency is a deadly foe of spiritual growth.
• Our ability to feel the Savior's influence and love will intensify in our lives, magnifying our faith, our charity, our righteousness.
• The Lord will Direct our Paths if only we will Trust in Him.
• There is always something wonderful and fascinating to learn about Jesus Christ and His Gospel.

Randy D. Funk

• The safety and well being of the sheep depends on the ability to enter the fold and stay in the fold. 
• All are welcome to the fold and to receive the blessings of the fold. 
• The gift of agency is not simply the right to choose, it is the opportunity to choose the right.
• The walls of the fold aren't a constraint but a source of spiritual safety. 
• 1. Be redeemed by God. 2. Be numbered 3. Have eternal life. 4. the Lord will pour his spirit upon you.
• When we enter the fold of God and keep his covenants with him we feel the peace and knowledge of trusting that God will redeem us from our sins and that we'll live eternally with God.
• We need to choose to Come. 

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

• Measurings offered in the Lord's kingdom is quite different compared to offerings given to the World.
• It's not the amount, but the effect it has that matters. 
• Our offering may be large or small, but it must be our heartfelt all.
• It's not easy to balance yourself between all your obligations. It takes time. practice. patience. It even takes falling down a time or two. But if you succeed you'll soon not notice what you're balancing as it will become part of your life.
• Focus on your destination. Not just on pedaling. 
• If we want to find balance in life and if we want to have the Savior lift us heavenwards, then our commitment to him must not be casual. We must offer him our whole souls. It may be a small offering but we must offer him all of it.
• Finding balance in our lives requires letting some things Grow and letting others things Go.
• We all have things large and small that we need to sacrifice in order to follow Christ more completely. 
• What we sacrifice shows what we truly value.
• Sacrifice what holds you back. 

Russell M. Nelson

• May the spirit have spoken to you directly about the things that the Lord will have you do.
• The future is always uncertain, but our trust in Lord can always be certain.
• One Hour alone is in Thy Hands. The Now on which your shadow stands. 
• We should learn from the Past and we should prepare for the Future but only Now can we Do.
• Do things that will increase your positivity. That will lift you. Keep you moving forward. 
• 17 New Temples: New Zealand, Republic of Congo, Spain, United Kingdom, Peru, Brazil, Brazil, Mexico, Mexico, Florida, Tennessee, Ohio, Kansas, Texas, Montana, Idaho, California. 

To read/listen/watch these talks in their entirety please visit: 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04?lang=eng

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

192nd Annual General Conference -Saturday Sessions

Morning Session  

Russell M. Nelson

• May this Conference be a time of Spiritual Rejuvenation to Each and Every One of You.
• Try to find Peaceful Resolutions to your Differences. 
• Seek the Lord's Help in Ending Any Major Conflicts.
• Every Person who's made Covenants with God has Promised to Care about Others and Serve Those in Need.
• Each of us has a Role to Play in the Gathering of Israel. 
• You are each Vital to the Lord.

M. Russell Ballard

• If you cannot attend Church Services with your Family, you Can always Attend with your Friends.
• Your Friends can Help you Decide what Paths you travel in your life. Pick Good Friends. 
• The Lord Knows You.
• Strive to Keep your Hearts, Hands, and Minds Clean and Worthy. 
• The Family is the Most Profound Influence in our Lives.
• Serve Now. Prepare to Serve the Lord.
• Even during these difficult times, the Lord has had a Work for you to Do and You have Done it wonderfully well.
• The Lord is Pleased with your Effort. 
• Just because you are released from your Mission doesn't mean you are released from Activity in the Church. Continue to Bless and Serve Others.

Reyna L. Aburto

• From the Beginning, God has sought to gather together and organize his Children. 
• The Church is the Scaffolding in which we Build Eternal Families.
• Let us not underestimate the marvelous work that the Lord is accomplishing through us.
• Sometimes we are Givers and Sometimes we are Receivers, but we are all One Family in Christ.
• The Church is US the Members. WE are the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
• Let us have the Faith of a Child and Rejoice in Knowing that even our Smallest Efforts are making a significant difference in God's Kingdom.
• We are all Afflicted in some manner. But Christ can heal us. Each and Every One of Us.
• We Need Each Other. We Can Bring Each Other to the Savior's Redeeming Healing.

David A. Bednar

• We will Heed Not what the Wicked May Say. 
• Faith Focus In and On the Lord Jesus Christ, Fortifies us with Spiritual Strength. 
• As we Act in the Truths of the Gospel, we are Blessed with the capacity to Press Forward while Focusing on the Joys the Savior Offers to Us.
• If We do what's Right. We have No Need to Fear.
• Living and Loving Covenant Commitments creates a personal and powerful connection with the Lord.
• 1. Have Firm Testimonies of Heavenly Father's Plan of Happiness. 2. Spiritual Knowledge and Connection are individual, personal, and specific. 
• Christ can be your Personal Savior. 
• The ability to resist the temptations of the Adversary is promised to those who Hold Fast to the Word of God instead of merely Clinging to the Word of God.
• 1. Remember, Honoring, and Strengthening the personal connection we have with the Savior. 2. Prayerfully, earnestly, and consistently use the Scriptures and Teachings of the Prophets as Truth.
• Press On. Hold Fast. Heed Not.
• In the Fight for what's Right may Each of us hold a Sword. The Mighty Sword of Truth.

Neil L. Andersen 

• The Internet is both a Blessing and a Challenge.
• Often Social Media Posts of Positivity and Joy are swept under the rug in favor of the Negative.
• Every Person on Earth is an Offspring of God, but to be called a Child of God means so much more. 
• Remain Confident in our Faith. Share our beliefs with Conviction. Avoid Anger. 
• We can Gripe about the Way things Were and refuse to acknowledge the Good that is going on. But that won't Solve the problem.
• We don't eradicate Evil with More Evil. Love Generously. Especially to those who we believe to be our enemies. 
• Peacemakers are Not Passive. They are Persuasive in the Savior's Way.
• We endeavor to Bless and Strengthen. 
• We genuinely love and care for ALL our neighbors. Even if they don't believe as we believe.
• Can Not Boundary Lines Exist without Becoming Battle Lines?
• Sometimes we must resist the desire to respond and instead retain dignity in being quiet when it comes to being a peacemaker.
• We can move away from contention and bless the lives of others while not isolating ourselves in our own corner. 

Eduardo Gavarret

• Be the sort of person that people will admire. 
• Treat others with Love, Respect, and Consideration.
• A Mighty Change of Heart can bring a Feeling of Love, Trust, and Peace.
• Today is a Day to Decide to Follow the Lord Jesus Christ.
• When we give our Hearts to God, we are Rescued from the raging seas of life.

Larry S. Kacher

• We don't see All things. But the Lord Does.
• Accepting the Lord's will in place of our Own is key to Finding Joy no matter the circumstances.
• There is simplicity on the other side of life's complexities. 
• Make your Stumbling Blocks your Stepping Stones.
• Faith is Not Static. It can Go Up or Down depending on the Choices we Make.
• Have Love be your Primary Motivator. Not Guilt.
• How High we Climb on the Ladder of Faith is Our Decision.
• After we do all we can under our own power, we need to stand still and behold the power and mercy of God.
• Is your Current Path in Conflict with the Savior's Path?
• May we plant the seeds of Faith deep in our Hearts and Nourish Them.

Henry B. Eyring

• May we Stand Steady in the Storms we Face with a Peaceful Heart.
• The place to begin is to remember that you are a beloved Child of God. 
• We want with all our Hearts not to Shrink, but rather to Look up at Him and see Him Smile and Hear Him Say "Well Done."
• Most of us Want to be Strong. We don't want to be seen as a Child because that's seen as being weak. But to be Like a Child is NOT to be Childish. It is to be Like the Savior. Who relied on his Father and prayed to Him for Strength. 
• When the Storms of Life Come, you can be Steady because you're standing on the Rock of your Faith in Jesus Christ.
• God knows what Storms you will Face and can Help you Through them if Only you will Reach out and Trust in Him and His Help.

 Afternoon Session 

Jeffrey R. Holland

• The young are the faces of our future. Our Children are where the destiny of the Church will be placed. 
• Begin your search for happiness by embracing the bounty you have already received. 
• Avoid destructive habits that would pull off key from the song of eternal salvation. 
• We may want to sometimes run away from Where we are but we can Never run away from Who we are. Children of God.
• Stay for the Entire Feast even if you're not certain about the Broccoli. 
• Jesus really does want you for a Sunbeam.
• You have the Light of Christ planted in your Soul. It is the influence for Good in the Hearts of Every Single Person. That light will Protect you and Teach you. 
• Watch out for Others who may be Struggling. Listen. Reach Out. 
• The World desperately needs All the Light it can get. Please do not minimize the Eternal Light God Placed in Your Soul. 
• Do not Destroy a Life that Christ gave His Life to Preserve. 
• You can bear the struggles of this life because we will help you to bear them.
• You are Not Alone. You are Loved. You are Valued. You are Needed. 

Patrick Kearon

• Courageously Keep the Flame of Light alive in the face of uncertainty for others so that someone could survive just one more day.
• Is your Heart Crying out that you're Living a Survival Story Right Now?
• You can Survive. You have been Rescued.  You will be Saved. All Done by Jesus Christ. 
• We are More than Conquerors through Him who Loves Us.
• Fear Not. I know your Sorrows. I have come to Deliver You. I will not leave you. My Angels will surround you. I will give you rest. You are Mine. 
• Don't let feelings of Guilt or Shame become a barrier preventing you from seeking help to get out of your survival story. 
• Abuse Was Not. IS NOT. and WILL NEVER be your Fault no Matter what anyone says to the Contrary. You are NOT the one who needs to repent. You are NOT the one responsible. You are not the one considered less worthy or valuable because of what someone did to you.
• God will never see you as one who needs to be despised. He's not ashamed of you or disappointed in you.
• God Loves you in ways you haven't even discovered yet. 
• You are precious in God's sight.
• You are not defined by the terrible things that have been done to you.
• You are defined by your eternal identity as a child of God. 
• There is No place for ANY ABUSE in any home, country, or culture. 
• No one is EVER asking for Aggression in any home, country, or culture. 
• You can have a New Beginning and a Fresh Start.
• You ARE a survivor. You CAN heal. You CAN overcome and conquer. 

Marcos A. Aidukaitis

• The worth of Souls is Great in the Sight of God.
• Anytime you do Anything to Help Anyone on either side of the Veil, you are Helping to Gather Israel. It is as Simple as That.
• There is a difference between being blessed and being richly blessed in the service of the Lord.
• The blessings of the Lords can come in ways we would never expect. 
• It is worth the effort to Trust in God. 
• With Christ's Help we Can Do Hard Things.

Gerrit W. Gong

• We each have a story to tell. A story that connects us to each other. 
• It is finite, countable, one person at a time, you and I. We Matter. 
• We're ultimately All Connected in the Family of God. 
• We each have more family with whom we can connect. 
• Connect your living family names with your ancestry names. 
• Connect Yesterday for Tomorrow.
• Our ancestors deserved to be remembered. 
• We need Roots to have Wings. 
• No individual or family is perfect. 
• Genetics and Family Patterns influence us but don't determine who we become. 
• Each of our Stories is a Journey still in Progress as we Discover, Create, and Become when we encounter possibilities beyond our imagination. 
• Do everything possible To NOT carry on the Negative. Let the Positive begin with you. 
• We each have a story. Come discover yours. Come find your voice, your song, your harmony. 

Adrian Ochoa

• Is your Life going Well? Or is your Faith in Decline? 
• Act in Faith in Jesus Christ. 
• Your Faith can give you the Power to Act with Courage during a Stressful or Frightening Situation. 
• Faith in the Savior brings Peace and the Strength to move Forward.
• Do not minimize the Faith you already have. 
• When we struggle for any reason that doesn't mean that the Plan isn't working. That's the moment when we need the Plan the most. Turn to the Savior right away.
• Humble yourself Before the Lord and he Will Lift you Up to Greater Things.

Kevin S. Hamilton 

• The World says that We Cannot Change. That we Should not Change. That we should accept our circumstances and embrace our situation in life. While it is good to be authentic we should be Authentic to our True Selves to our Divine Nature. We need to Change. 
• The Lord operates through Conditional Statements.
• The Savior Loves you Just as you Are. That is True. But he cannot take us into his Kingdom as we Are. We must be Changed. 
• 1. We must humble ourselves. 2. We must have Faith in Jesus Christ. 3. Through His Grace He Can Make Weak Things Become Strong.
• In order to Change we must put off the natural man and become humble.
• True Repentance begins with Faith that Christ has the power to cleanse, heal, and strengthen us.
• It is Our Faith that Unlocks the Power of God in Our Lives.
• Our Greatest Weaknesses can become our Greatest Strengths. 
• We have the Power within Us to Change. 

Quentin L. Cook

• Your testimony will be strengthened when you know in your heart, through your prayers that Jesus is the Christ, the Book of Mormon is True, and that Joseph Smith is a Prophet. 
• We believe that personal repentance is a commanded prerequisite to partake of the Atonement and inherit the Celestial Kingdom.
• We can receive ultimate happiness despite the storms of this life. 
• The love of the Savior will be our Guiding Light. 

Evening Session 

Dallin H. Oaks

• The Gospel of Jesus Christ does not change. Gospel Doctrine does not Change. Our personal Covenants do not change. But the way we communicate our messages over the years does change. 
• The gospel of Jesus Christ is for Everyone.

Susan H. Porter

• The Savior invites you to come unto him and Learn. 
  
• Lessons to Learn: 1. Our past and present circumstances do not determine our future. 2. The power is in us. 3. Out of Small Things proceeds that Which is Great.
• We can choose to turn to the Savior today for the strength and healing that will enable us to do what we were sent here to do.
• The power is Within Us to bring to pass much Righteousness.
• When we invite the power of God into our lives, we can replace the heavy darkness in our lives with light healing. 
• You don't grieve alone. You're never alone. 
• Replace the heaviness of mourning with laughter and light. 
• You can always be a light to others and shine your brightly burning beam into the darkness. You can lead others from the darkness into peace.

Rebecca L. Craven

• You'll always find blessings for Acting, even if your Actions don't turn out the way you intended. 
• Conversion doesn't come if you Do Nothing. It Comes by Doing. By Seeking. Asking. Knocking.
• Satan would love nothing more than for us to misplace our Eternal Values by placing Value in things that Matter Not in the end.
• You need to Boss Your Brain. You're in Control. You can Control what you do or don't do.
• It's not about living perfectly. It's about finding Joy while living the Covenants you made with the Lord.
• This is the Time we must Stay Closest to the Prophet.
• While it may not be Easy, there is Always a Way to Do the Right thing.
• We need to Step Up and Stand Up and Come Out of Obscurity. 
• Even if we don't have all the answers, we must keep moving forward, believing that God has the best intentions for us.

Jean B. Bingham

• Keeping the Covenants we make with God allows us to access his Power and Protects us as we go about our lives.
• Our Redeemer is there to catch us when we fall IF we turn to him.
• Christ is the Anchor in our Lives that will hold us fast while we deal with the Turbulence and Storms of Life.
• There is Nothing more Important to our Eternal Progress than Keeping our Covenants with God.
• Now is the Time to Repent, Prepare, and Try Again.
• The Key to Lasting Happiness is Living the Gospel of Jesus Christ and Keeping our Covenants.

Dale G. Renlund

• 1. You are a Beloved Daughter. Nothing you Do or Don't Do can Change that. 2. Behavior that Distances us from God make it difficult to Sense His Love for Us. 3. We Have a Divine Nature. 4. We have a Divine Eternal Destiny.
• Sometimes we may not feel God's love, but trust that it is Always There. We may not always be able to sense it. But it's there. 
• Is our Love for God Constant or does it Fluctuate depending on if we're having a Good day or a Bad day?
• Seeking Understanding is Important to our Spiritual Development, but proceed with Caution while you're seeking.
• Remember that your Most Important Identity which is that you're a Divine Being. A Child of God.
• We can't Create our Own Path and Expect God's Blessings to be the Outcome. We have to Follow Him and His Way to achieve Eternal Happiness.
• You are Free to Make your Own Decisions, but the end results of those choices may end up with a less than stellar outcome.
• EVERYONE is needed on the Lord's Team.
• Repentance IS NOT punishment. It's Salvation.
• Just because we Stumble after Repentance doesn't mean it didn't work. It just means that we are Human. We are not perfect. We have weaknesses. Repentance doesn't always Fix us the first time. It does help us to be better. 

To read/listen/watch these talks in their entirety, please visit this website: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/broadcasts?lang=eng&video=99234761376977432590&mode=watch

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves. 
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

And the Rain Came Down

 It's never really fun to feel like you're in a downward spiral. That things are slowly getting worse and you're fighting the current...but with each passing day it's just the never ending thought of: 

"What's the point?" 

*exhales*

This past week has been slightly rough on me on multiple levels.

And all of it has just kinda left me feeling like I'm well....failing. 

Have I been able to write a fic? Nope.

Have I been able to do anything productive around the house? Not really.

Do I just spend every day all day reading when I'm not at work? Yep. 

Is work just slowly increasing its demands and expectations on what I'm supposed to get done in an eight hour day during a 40 hour week? Yep.

Like. Honestly. Who cares about customer opinions? Who cares if they're happy here? Who cares? It's not like there's much we can do when their main complaint is lack of workers....which corporate doesn't give us enough hours to HIRE more people to be in the store. Or the increase in prices. Which corporate again. Increases for various probably greedy reasons.

Honestly, I feel like work should focus more on making the workers happier. If the workers are happier they're more cheerful and then are more likely to be more cheerful to customers and do all the things that corporate is trying to beat down on us with the stick and little to no carrot.

So yah.

Haven't been feeling that great at work this past week.

And then on top if it.

My AC went out in my car. And we just got hit with a slight heatwave. 

And instead of being a nice and easy and simple fix of just going to the local Jiffy and getting the AC recharged.

I get told that the clutch in the compressor isn't engaging. Which would mean a full part replacement if true.

And it's not like a $300 fix. Noooo IF it is the part that needs to be replaced then that's going to cost me over $1000 to get it replaced. 

Add onto that that there's apparently a parts shortage going on and it's looking like my car is going to be ACless for the forseeable future.

IF that's the issue.

Because I honestly don't trust the Jiffy people much beyond getting my oil changed. 

It's possible that they just did something wrong and decided "Hey this must be broken go get it fixed." instead of like....attempting to fix it.

I get why they didn't attempt to recharge. Because I'm sure they don't want to have to deal with a customer who's like "You charged me $150 to recharge my AC and it STILL DOESN'T WORK" so I get it. I get that they don't want to take the risk.

But at the same time.....Just *lowkey screaming* 

Because instead of being a nice easy maybe half hour to an hour wait to get my AC recharged....I now have to make plans to drive up to the only mechanic I trust up in Hometown stupid early on my day off in the hopes that they can fix the AC without it costing an Arm and a Leg but I also have to potentially plan to be technically careless for the day at minimum and maybe two or three days at maximum which is DIFFICULT when I have a job. 

And like...I have cars I can borrow. Not my preferred ones and such.

It just....feels like it's all crashing down.

It's the straw that broke the camel's back.

And it's just.....really made me miss my mom today.

Because even though I can actually afford to get my car fixed on my own and I'm not that concerned (though definitely annoyed) about how much money I have to spend to fix my car....

It just....kinda hurts that I just can't complain to mother dearest about it and have her go "Hey, I can help out with that. It's okay. You can borrow my car and I can cover some of the payment if not all the payment."

Because she has such a giving heart like that. Money wasn't an issue to her so long as she was able to make her kids happy. 

And I just kinda miss that knowledge that there's someone in my corner. Someone willing to help me out. To reach out and cheer me up. I feel like I have to keep up the front of being the happy one. The supportive one and I'm just....balancing on a crumbling pillar that's barely getting shored up with support. 

It's hard.

Like I know I can handle. I can get through this. I have before. I will again. 

I just....wish I could have someone else to rely on without it feeling like an obligation, a burden, an unwanted responsibility. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

All The Ones

I hadn't paid much attention to the customer at the register as my focus was getting him to move his cart enough out of the way that I could clean up a spill from someone's dog slightly earlier.

And I'd heard him counting "80, 81, 82! okay. I need to go grab my card I'll be right back."

As the customer had apparently only had so much cash on him apparently $82 and had left his card in his car so he paid with the cash first and then ran to go grab his card, finishing the transaction almost before I had managed to put the mop bucket away from cleaning up the spill.

I hadn't thought much more on it though.

Not until closing.

When I went to count Register 1 and discovered a huge pile of one dollar bills in the register.

Like usually we try and keep the bills more evenly spaced out so that we have some of each denomination in the til that would equal up to the specific amount of money we're supposed to have in each til.

So at most we would only keep like $40 in ones in the till. At most. Most of the time it hovers closer to $20.

But by the time I was done counting the pile of $1s there was $68 there. O.o 

And so I said over the radio to the cashier. "Did someone give you all their ones or something?" 

Cus it does happen on occasion. Where people will give us a ton of change or a fistful of ones.

and my cashier was like "Yah. Some dude paid like $80 in ones." 

EIGHTY DOLLARS at least. In ONES.

Like dude. 

Why and how did you end up with so many??? 

I'm guessing tips.

But it's also impressive considering that out of that $68, twenty of those ones were original to the register.

So we had $48 dollars in ones from this dude's transaction left by the end of the night.

which I suppose shows just how much we give out ones if we managed to nearly half the original amount because the til was pretty barren in other areas compared to the ones.

But still.

It's crazy to have so many ones together in one place lol.

I ended up exchanging most of the bills out for other bills so that we could once again not have a ton of ones in the drawer.

But yeesh. 

So. Many. Ones.

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

At Least 18

I had a guy come into the store today, who I wouldn't have thought much about because he didn't ping me as the "Under 18" type so mostly I was preparing myself to answer a lot of questions about whatever pet he may have come into the store to impulse buy as I live in a college town and we get a ton of lonely students who think that getting a pet will solve their problems. 

So it kinda surprised me when he was like "How old do you have to be to buy a fish? 18?"

Which...usually if people ask me how old they have to be to buy something....they usually aren't 18.

And we don't sell live animals to people who aren't at least 18 because we don't want to get in trouble with parents who didn't realize their kid was going to buy a pet.

So I told him "Yah, you have to be at least 18 to buy a fish." and mentally prepared myself to ask for his I.D. if he did decide to try and buy one, just so I could double check and make sure he's legit. 

And the dude seriously was like "Do you check I.D.s here?" 

*shakes head*

Honestly we only check I.D.s on kids that look like they're too young. And half the time we just  go "How old are you?" and they answer and we go "Okay" if they say over 18 and "No you can't buy one" if they're under. 

But I'm not about to tell that to the dude. I'm like "Yes, we do check IDs here." 

And yah....he ended up vanishing.

But it's kinda funny because honestly, he looked like he'd be in college so if he hadn't asked about age, I would have assumed that he was an adult and wouldn't have asked him anything and he could have got a fish.

Silly him. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Spoil Me

 It's been one of those weeks where....idk...I've been wishing that someone would remember me. That I would come home and there would be an unexpected present waiting for me because someone saw something, thought of me, and decided to send it.

I suppose it was triggered earlier this week when an unexpected package did show up for me....but that was because I'd completely forgotten that I'd ordered the free COVID tests. 

Man. It was rather disappointing to open this mysterious package and see that. Covid tests. Bleh. Like good to have on hand just in case.

But after being informed by the roomie that I had a package waiting for me that I was 'certain' I hadn't ordered....it was a major disappointment. 

*exhales* 

Like...I like giving presents to people. I like sending unexpected things to family to brighten their day.

But there are days....where I wish they would return the favor.

Just...send me something. Something to go "Hey I saw this and thought it would make you smile." 

Of course....my family is a bit more concerned about money than I am at the moment since they have families and houses and bills and such to pay for. 

So they don't exactly have the cash to just....spend willynilly on something random.

And it's not like the family is aware that I'd like to receive gifts from them. 

How could they know I would like something to cheer me up when I tend to have the 'suffer in silence for the greater good' sort of ideology going on. I don't usually speak up when I'm having problems. And even if I do speak up....it's not like people's first thoughts are "Oh let's send her something!" 

Nope. That's my go to method. lol. "Oh hey you're not doing too good right now? Here, let me send you a gift to cheer you up!" 

In any case.

It's been one of those weeks where I miss the comfort of being...idk....remembered?

And I've been off and on clicking on Amazon looking for things to by myself just so I have something to look forward to before talking myself out of it because money and 'why should I spend this on myself do I actually need it?' sort of thinking.

But last night I kinda just....hit the tipping point? 

Probably directly influenced by the fact that I didn't get "alone time" in the house like I'd been expecting. 

But yah.

Last night I was kinda like "Screw it." and ordered myself a few things off of Amazon that should be arriving over the next week because I need  something to look forward to. A nice "surprise" to get upon getting home from a hard day at work.

Even though it's not really a surprise since I know what I'm getting. 

At least I can kinda pretend that it's....a present. idk. 

In any case.

Keeping up with the "Screw It" mentality. 

I ended up ordering myself some Texas Roadhouse to pick up once I got off work.

As it was confirmed (and actually happened) that my roommates would be out most of the day and that I would get a few hours in the house by myself.

So I figured I'd reward myself with food. As that's an easy reward to give myself since I don't usually have to worry about where to put the more physical things I end up buying myself.

And it was great.

Because I got off work and headed over to Texas Roadhouse --and got confused because the message said for me to park my car and text the number that I was 'here' and then 'wait' in my car but like....there was no curbside pick up signs at all in that parking lot --a really really crowded parking lot because go figure that having the restaurant near the mall would mean that the stalls were all super full and super crowded with cars at the dinner hour-- in any case. No curbside pick up sign had me confused so I parked....but I was so far away I figured they couldn't see my car so I head up to the curbside pickup window that I could see and just I get there I get a message on my phone that my order is ready and that I can come get it from the curbside pick up.

lol *shakes head* So apparently it was supposed to be a "Wait in the car until the order is ready and then come get it." situation. Having not done curbside pick up from Texas since they actually installed the window....I had no idea that that was the case. As last time I had to go into the building to grab my food. 

In any case.

I had excellent timing in that I was able to basically go to the window and go "Hey I need my order" and they handed it right to me.

Love the no waiting thing.

I even managed to get out of the crazy full parking lot decently easy because there were cars lined up everywhere waiting to move to other places around the mall. So the fact that I got to the main road with little issue was amazing.

AND THEN.

Like five minutes after I got home with my food, one of the packages I'd ordered last night ARRIVED.

XD so I had the wonderful 'surprise' of being able to open up a package and see the little carved Toothless Dragon that I'd ordered.

Dude's adorable and brings a smile to my face when I hold him in my hands.

So yah.

Spoiling myself is awesome.

Especially when things fall into place so that it's all easy and fortuitous and such. Definitely helped to lift my mood a bit. :D

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi