12 Years Later

 I don't know if you'd call it Writer's Block or just like a ....general sort of "Meh" mood that's been building and building and building since the pandemic started if not before that point....

But like... ... ... It's been really difficult convincing myself to you know...write. To blog. To post.

I've been spending the last...well...forever just....reading. Not really producing my own content but enjoying other people's works and creativity.

Perhaps it's just burnout. Burnout from writing. Burnout from Pandemic life. Burn out from working Retail. 

Whatever it is...

It just feels like this....Wall. In front of me.

Where I know I have IDEAS and I have Content that I want to blog about. I want to write. I want to do all the things.

But when the moment comes I just...retreat. I go lose myself in reading, in scrolling through various social media.

And I don't write.

Probably because the recurring thought in my mind is "What's the point?" "Does it even matter?" "Who will even care if I post something or not?" 

In a lot of ways I've probably regressed to my first year of college self. To the time when I wondered if I could actually make a difference. If my words would mean something to someone somewhere.

And it's hard to get over my own blocks to reach out to the keyboard. To get my thoughts down on the screen and then to finish said thoughts and share them with whoever is there.

I want to get back into writing more.

It's just....gonna take time.

Baby steps.

It's like starting all a new....and I just...need to find the motiviation to keep going. I managed to keep this blog pretty consistently updated for years....there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to do so now. 

So.

Since today is the 12 year Anniversary of me starting this Blog.

Perhaps it's now that I should try and start over.

Start fresh.

Get back into the mindset of sharing what's on my mind. Getting those thoughts out. Not keeping them bottled up.

After all. I've always considered September to be a time of new beginnings. 

So let's begin again. 

*fingers crossed*

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi