So. At work I've been basically the last hold out on no longer wearing a mask.
I mean there was a point when the vaccine first came out and after I'd been vaccinated and a lot of mask mandates dropped...that I didn't wear a mask at work. For like a month...before there was a resurrgence in the virus and we were told to wear masks again.
But overall...with the exception of a few days where and there where migraines have made it impossible for me to tolerate wearing a mask because the slight pressure on my ears can trigger it worse....I've stuck to wearing a mask at work.
Other aspects of my life? Not so much. Like I still wear a mask when I go grocery shopping. But like I've gone on vacations and such where I've barely pulled on a mask and been fine.
But with work....it's always felt like a much larger risk to stop wearing a mask there.
Especially when, whenever I do truly consider this being the 'week to take the mask off' a coworker ends up coming down with COVID and my paranoia jumps back up because I. Do. Not. Want. To. Get. It.
I've seen the effects the virus has had on my roomie and my family (as I'm the last of us to catch it --to my knowledge) and it's not something I personally want to experience.
Hence my caution.
Because working in retail. Working in a pet store.
It's literally germ central. I interact with soooo many people in a day that I just haven't felt...safe....in removing my mask.
And it definitely wasn't helped last month with all the college students coming back for their fall semester in College Town and with the local Petco closing down at the end of July (temporarily they should be opening their new location in another month or two), my store has seen a bit of an uptick (total chaos) in customers coming to us with very little corporate help (aka No extra hours whatsoever) to help support the increase in customer demand.....that I really didn't feel like being exposed to so many new people over the course of an 8 hour shift.
So yah. I've been the last hold out at work. The only time I see other workers wearing masks here (since it hasn't been required in ages) is when they're feeling poorly and so wear a mask.
But this week....that changed. Not purposely. But on Monday...Labor Day.... I ended up with one of my nuclear migraines.
One that kept me up all night and refused to go away when I finally made it to work. *exhales* So I chose not to wear a mask. Because the thought of having pressure on my ears when my skull was already pounding to pieces just....didn't appeal to me.
And with how badly I was functioning at work. I knew that I wouldn't be staying for long. We had extra coverage due to the holiday. So I ended up leaving as soon as my replacement Petcare person showed up (at 11am) to go home and die in bed and listen to movies in the dark until my brain decided to stop with the stupid migraine.
In any case.
I meant for it to be a one day thing.
As I wasn't really inclined to be maskless for Tuesday or Wednesday when I was working closing shifts because that's guaranteed more people.
But Tuesday came....and while the migraine was gone....I could feel the rebound headache that almost always happens after a major migraine ediging in....
I didn't want to risk triggering it back.
So I went without a mask again on Tuesday. And again on Wednesday....and then again yesterday and Again today.
And it's been a week now of me not wearing my mask at work.
Which on one hand has my paranoia slightly on the higher side because I'm worried about me basically tripping at the finish line and catching COVID now because I spent all week not wearing the mask.
On the other hand...I have to wonder if a bunch of my headaches that I've been getting at work...were mask caused because while I did have the major one Monday and the slight rebound on Tuesday....it feels like it's been less prevalant the rest of the week for me to have a headache?
Which is kinda surprising because stress is a huge contribuitor to migraines and work is anything but peaceful currently.
And like....I've had a bit of chest/throat/sinus irritation. But it's hard to know if it's from catching something from a customer/coworker....or if it's just because we've had Fire Smoke descend upon the valley the past couple days. (First time this year it feels like compared to last year when it felt like every day of summer was a fire smoke day).
So yah...it's hard to know for sure in regards to that.
But in any case.
The reason why I bring up the mask thing....is because I've had two people comment this week about how "nice" it is that they can see my "beautiful face" and they're really happy I'm not wearing a mask anymore so they can see my face/smile more.
And it's just weird.
Like. I'm well aware that I have a bit of a low self-esteem. Because like...if I really was pretty and beautiful as people occasionally tell me I am....then why do I not get dates? Why am I not married yet? *shakes head*
Yah. It's a self-esteem issue that comes and goes.
In any case.
It's just thrown me a bit...off guard. To have the fact that people like seeing my face brought up twice this week.
Like. Maybe its the fact that I've kept my face basically covered since the summer of 2020. So I'm not used to it anymore. People aren't used to seeing me without a mask anymore. So it's more unique to them as they haven't seen it.
But it's still weird to have people comment about my face.
I get comments about my hair all the time lol. it's unique in it's silver grey streaking after all.
But my face? *shakes head*
I don't get it. Like it was flattering for sure. And I'm pretty sure the positive serotonin they gave me is supposed to convince me that I should keep my face bare and no longer wear a mask in the hopes of getting 'more compliments.'
So yah...I'm a bit...undecided on the mask front.
On the one hand. Not having something tugging at my ears (beyond the radio ear piece I have to wear) has been nice.
But it's stressful too. Especially when you get a stupid customer at work who spends a good 30 minutes or so wandering around the store hacking up a lung and making no effort to cover their mouth while doing so....like...I don't want to get sick. Wearing a mask as definitely helped on some level in keeping me healthy overall. So being maskless around people is....stressful. Especially when customers have no concept of 'personal space' and try to stick right next to your side.
*exhales*
But yah. It's just weird....to think that people actually like seeing my face.
Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!
-Sarnic Dirchi
No comments:
Post a Comment