October 2008 General Conference -Sunday Afternoon

Boyd K. Packer -The Test

• As we have inherited the spirit of liberty and the fire of patriotism from our fathers, so let them descend [unchanged] to our posterity.

Russell M. Nelson -Celestial Marriage

• Marriage between a man and a woman is sacred--it is ordained of God.
• The family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
• Mortal misunderstandings can make mischief in a marriage. In fact, each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concerted effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed if each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness.

William D. Oswald -Gospel Teaching--Our Most Important Calling

• "Every position in the Church requires an effective teacher."

Eduardo Gavarret -Returning Home

• To the less active, the offended, the critical, the transgressor--to come back. "Come back and feast at the table of the Lord, and taste again the sweet and satisfying fruits of fellowship with the Saints."
• The interest, attention, and care towards our brethren are profound manifestations of love for our Heavenly Father. In fact, we express our love for God when we serve and when this service is focused on our neighbor's well-being.
• Let us remember that love and service are like twins who seek each other's companionship.

Carlos A. Godoy -Testimony as a Process

• Sometimes we think that to have a testimony of the Church, we need some great, powerful experience, or a single event which would erase any doubts that we have received an answer or a confirmation.
• "The voice of the Spirit is described in the scripture as being neither 'loud' nor 'harsh.' It is 'not a voice of thunder, neither ... [a] voice of a great tumultuous noise.' But rather, 'a still voice of perfect mildness, as if it had been a whisper,' and it can 'pierce even to the very soul' and 'cause [the heart] to burn.'
• "The Spirit does not get our attention by shouting or shaking us with a heavy hand. Rather it whispers. It caresses so gently that if we are preoccupied we may not feel it at all."
• "Occasionally it will press just firmly enough for us to pay heed. But most of the time, if we do not heed the gentle feeling, the Spirit will withdraw and wait until we come seeking and listening and say in our manner and expression, 'Speak [Lord], for thy servant heareth.'
• Great events are not a guarantee that our testimony will be strong.

Quentin L. Cook -"Hope Ya Know, We Had a Hard Time"

• The challenges we face today are in their own way comparable to challenges of the past.
• We know from the scriptures that some trials are for our good and are suited for our own personal development. We also know that the rain falls on the just and the unjust. It is also true that every cloud we see doesn't result in rain. Regardless of the challenges, trials, and hardships we endure, the reassuring doctrine of the Atonement wrought by Jesus Christ includes Alma's teaching that the Savior would take upon Him our infirmities and "succor his people according to their infirmities."
• Regardless of our trials, with the abundance we have today, we would be ungrateful if we did not appreciate our blessings.
• "Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you."

Thomas S. Monson -Until We Meet Again

• I assure you that our Heavenly Father is mindful of the challenges we face in the world today. He loves each of us and will bless us as we strive to keep His commandments and seek Him through prayer.

General Relief Society Meeting

Julie B. Beck -Fulfilling the Purpose of Relief Society

• President Joseph F. Smith taught that Relief Society was "divinely made, divinely authorized, divinely instituted, divinely ordained of God," "according to the law of heaven," to help the Lord "bring to pass the ... eternal life of man."
• Whether we are married or single, old or young, we have a duty to defend and practice the truths found in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World."
• "However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely-appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform." Children being born no ware growing up in an increasingly sinful world. Our homes are to be their refuge from the daily encounters they have with evil.
• We can do the work of the Lord in His way when we seek, receive, and act on personal revelation. Without personal revelation, we cannot succeed. If we heed personal revelation, we cannot fail.
• The Holy Ghost will show us "all things what [we] should do.
• Revelation is not a matter of pushing buttons, but of pushing ourselves, often aided by fasting, scripture study, and personal pondering.

Silvia H. Allred -Holy Temples, Sacred Covenants

• "Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place?"
• "He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully." His house is holy, and no unclean thing may enter it.

Barbara Thompson -Now Let Us Rejoice

• Remember, most often the help needed is in our own homes, neighborhoods, and communities. A kind word of encouragement, a note of thanks, a phone call, a loving smile, a helpful deed, and a reminder that God loves us are often what is needed most. We can lift and bless others in so many ways.
• "The Relief Society might be likened to a refuge--the place of safety and protection. ... You will be safe within it. It encircles each sister like a protecting wall."

Dieter F. Uchtdorf -Happiness, Your Heritage

• To me it appears that our splendid sisters sometimes undervalue their abilities--they focus on what is lacking or imperfect rather than what has been accomplished and who they really are.
• Everyone can create. You don't need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.
• Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty--and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.
• What you create doesn't have to be perfect.
• Don't let fear of failure discourage you. Don't let the voice of critics paralyze you--whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.
• If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.
• As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.
• "When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated."
• "Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."
• Lift up your chin; walk tall. God loves you. We love and admire you.

Until you next read these words;

I'll be watching the leaves.

Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Text From The Blue

So.
I'd just gotten off work.
Planning to grab gas, and food, and run away from the world for a bit.
Anxious because I don't do this sort of thing. Not tell people where I'm going. Just disappearing.
As I needed space. Needed some alone time.
But that didn't mean I didn't want to talk to people.

I just wanted...I don't know...to see a familiar face. Talk to someone I hadn't talked to in a bit.
Just kinda....have confirmation that people are aware of me, that someone is thinking of me.
Just when I felt like no one would notice I'd disappeared until today.

So I pull up to the gas station.
As I do, I get a text message.

My heart drops. Speeds up. Worry, anticipation.
It'd only been like 15 minutes since I'd left work.
Had my roommates figured out what I was doing so quickly?

Not really.
It was a text from a roommate.
But not my current set of roommates.
My first roommate had texted me.
Out of the blue really.
Because we haven't spoken in a couple of years. I haven't seen her in a couple of years besides in her facebook posts.

But she'd texted me.
Wondering if I was at the Vocal Point concert that night.
-Which I wasn't. Because I had to work through both performances on Saturday. :(
And I told her so.
But, I asked her if she'd spotted Ariel yet.
Which she had.

and she mentioned that she wished I was there. That it would have been fun to see me.

Now...my state of mind is in that state of "Ha. Yah right." at the moment.
That she only mentioned it because I wasn't going to be there, but there was no real longing to actually see me. I could continue on, grab my food and head on home. With no consequences.

Still...I'd thought about going to the Vocal Point concert, not to see the performance since I'd already missed that. But to go see everyone after the show. Since Vocal Point does signings afterwards. Where they can interact with the fans and the fans can see them closer.
I'd seen them all Friday night. But there were Twitter friends of mine who were from out of town, that I'd seen Friday...but it would be fun to see them again briefly. Maybe get the chance to see Ariel, to run into and see other people I knew....

So as I was grabbing my food.
I made the decision.
To go.
My old roommate was going to be there. So I would get to see them at least. And I could find my Twitter friends.

So I put off running away for a bit.
To go be social for an hourish.

Because...why would my old roommate, after two years of not texting at all.
Randomly text me about the concert?
Randomly contact me? I mean, I had figured by now she would have gotten a different phone number.
Yet here she was, still with the same number, still having my number...texting me.

Would I just keep it at texting, and go on my merry way?
Or since I know where she is, and what time the concert was going to end, go and say hi and visit for a bit? She had reached out. I could reach out myself.

So I went, and spent like 20 minutes waiting for the concert to end.
And then.
I ran into Ariel!! :) I got to say hi!
And then all of a sudden I was being attacked hugged.
It was my old roommate! And she genuinely seemed excited to see me!

...Though it wasn't as long of a conversation as I would have hoped for... as she and her husband had to get back home to their young son.
But it was nice to see her in person and chat if only for a few minutes. :)
-And about this time...my current roommates went all haywire texting and calling me. which marred the happy experience I was trying to make for myself, instead of being guilt tripped about not telling them where I was going.-

But I was also able to see my Twitter friends!
Say hi to a few more members of previous Vocal Point groups that I admire.
Say hi to Mckay -current director of Vocal Point.
And feel for a bit that people knew and were happy to see me.
Just when I felt like nobody cared.

So it was definitely a bit of a blessing, to go to the 'after party' and be able to have people be happy to see me. Even in the chaos.

Plus, I was able to listen to encore performances during the signings from the Alumni. ^^ Ah. So much happiness hearing all those angelic voices together. :)

I was glad that I was able to go and experience a bit of that. :)
Before I made the long drive to my parent's place, for some much needed quiet time.

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Run Away

There are moments when suddenly life becomes too much.
You try and pick yourself up.
Only to get knocked back down.
Time and time again.
Knocked back down.
There have been hard times in my life before,
But at the moment it feels like everything in my life is struggling.
Emotionally, Physically, Mentally, Socially, what ever 'ally you can think of I'm probably struggling in it currently.

So,
Last night, I went to the Vocal Point Concert.
Something I'd been looking forward to all week.
Since I realized I could go.
Yay!

Now, I'm a bit more obsessive with the group than my friends are.
And by the time I figured out I could go.
There were only basically single seats left.

And so, after much debate.
I picked my seat.
Where I wanted to be for this concert.

It ended up being in the back of the theatre, on the aisle.
So for the most part I had a really nice clear view of the performers. :)

And next to me?
Empty seats.
At least when I sat down.
Which also sparks my writer's imagination.

Who will sit by me?
As always, in this sort of situation.
I'm hopeful that it will be a cute guy.
Someone who came with his family (and not a date.) Or maybe with his roommates
Who strikes up a conversation with me.
Etc. Etc.

And....as always.
It ends up that reality doesn't like to follow my expectations.
Cute single guy? Hasn't happened yet.
Didn't happen last night.

It was a group of younger kids.
Teenager age more than likely.
That sat next to me.

And made a horrible impression right off the bat in that they were late.
So they came in right in the middle of the first song, blocking my view.
Then chatted a bit through the concert.
*exhales*
It didn't help that during intermission, all these other teenagers decided to stand in the aisle.
Right by me.
Basically pressing in on my personal bubble.
Twasn't good.
And didn't help my already fragile mood.
Where it was very bluntly shown to me how alone I was at the concert there.

The feeling would wax and wane.
I mean, after the concert I got to meet up with some online friends, and get to chat with Vocal Point for a bit. :)
But...when I wasn't doing that....
I was standing by myself.
With no one to talk to.
because I'd come alone.

It became hard to keep my smile up.
To keep the tears from my eyes.
As I watched everyone else having a blast. Having fun. Chatting with their friends, their family, the vocal point people...
And knowing that once I disappeared from their sight.
I probably wouldn't come back onto their radar, until the next concert.

So even though I was surrounded by people.
I felt very alone.

It didn't help....when I got home to the apt.
Where things have also been on the bleaker side.
As my favorite roommate hasn't really been 'present' in the apartment.
She's been struggling with her own trials at work, and being sick, along with her fiancée being sick.
When they are at the apt, they're conked out on the couches, and aren't really....interactive.

I know that I could do more to be interactive.
But in my own frame of mind, I'm so tired of being the one to instigate.
I want someone else to take interest without me having to bring it up.
So if I come into the room,
And there is no acknowledgement of a 'hey, whats up, you're here.'
I can't really deal with that right now.

Which is what happened.
I got home from the concert.
Came home.
And the roommates, including my favorite roommate.
Were all zoned out.
Doing their own things.
I could have been a ghost really for all the attention they paid to my returning.

And I suppose,
After a night of mental disappointments...
This was the last straw.

Really,
I just wanted to get away.
To drive off into the darkness -even though it was midnight and I had work the next day-
And just leave everything behind.
Drop everything.
Pack up.
Leave.
Head down to Moab or somewhere.
And just start all over.

Ha.
I'm much too responsible for my own good, really.
I probably should call in a couple of mental health days for work. Just get my head back in the right place.
But I can't.
I'm not sick, sick. So I would feel guilty for skipping out on work when I've been scheduled to work. It wouldn't help me mentally at all, as I'd be worrying about that all the time I was away.

But that didn't mean I couldn't get away.
I had to work a night shift. >.< As the managers have gotten it into their heads that I need to work those. XP Bleh. (However, that may change to Saturday Morning shifts, instead of night, if the scheduling manager actually listens to the head manager's statement that I should work mornings if I had to work Saturday.

Since I had Sunday off from work.
I decided I would just drive off into the darkness.
And head to my parents house for the night/Sunday, as they wouldn't be there.
So I could finally get the alone time I needed.
The 'only person in the house' feeling.
The ability to rejuvenate myself, get my energy back in place, unwind without having to deal with other people.

I didn't tell my roommates where I was going.
Frankly, I didn't think they would notice I wasn't in the apartment until Sunday when they were getting ready for church.

It was perfect really.
Because I was scheduled an evening shift,
Two of my roommates were scheduled morning shifts,
and the other roommate would be asleep soon enough from working her graveyard shift.
So in reality.
I didn't have to speak to any of them.
Pretend to be asleep until the roommate went to bed,
Leave for work before the others got home.

But...
Even though I didn't tell them I was leaving.
I did...things to indicate I was going away.
'Put your house in order.' was the thought going through my mind.
So I cleaned up my room.
Took out the trash.
Did the dishes.
And....erased the part of the whiteboard that is 'my corner.' Leaving just my name, and a note for a Dr. Appointment in the corner. So no information about my plans for the week, no motivational quotes, nothing.
Just white empty space.

I suppose that's what gave me away. The empty board.
I did it for two main reasons.
For one, I did it because I didn't yet have my schedule for next week.
For two. It was just a 'removal' symbolic thing. That I was leaving the apartment.
if only for like 24 hours.
But removing that small trace of me, was just like a breath of fresh air.
Because now...no one would know what I was doing, where I was at, I could just be on my own.

Which.
Is really hard for me to do.

It's difficult to not want to please people.
To not try and make others happy.
To do something for myself, regardless of the consequences.
As all too well, I can think of all those consequences, which then proceed to make me feel bad for all those situations that may not happen.

I'm a 'home' person. I like being home.
So to leave home...is hard.

Honestly, as I packed up my things, got ready for work,
And shut the door behind me, locking it and leaving.
Knowing that I wouldn't be returning tonight.
And no one else would know until later...

It was...well I had butterflies in my stomach.
You know the sort of 'what are you doing crazy!! Say something!"
But, no.
It was time to take a stand.
To do something for myself.
Even though I figured it would backfire in some way.
(Because it always backfires when I do something just for myself.)
And not tell people what I'm doing.

Imagining that this would probably be the day that the roomies would actually want to do something together.
Would be expecting me to come home.
Would have food ready, would be wanting to talk.

But that's the hopeful me.
I hadn't had any signs indicating that would happen.
In all honesty, I was expecting the roommates to come home from work.
And go into one of their rooms and disappear for the night.
Not noticing the board was empty. -as they don't seem to read it anyways.
But if they remembered, they would know that I told them I had an evening shift.
So they wouldn't be expecting me home until later that night. Once the store was closed. They maybe would know that I sometimes get stuck with dealing with customers who take forever after the store closed to go check out.
Which would give me half an hour to an hour after my shift to get home.
So they wouldn't expect me home.
And if they were in their room, they wouldn't know if I actually came home or not.
If I was asleep in my room or not.

And my favorite roommate.
I was expecting her and her fiancé to again be conked out on the couches.
She works nights. So, I would assume that they would both assume that I had come in while they were sleeping before her shift. And that I had gone to bed.

So, from all indications I'd had this entire week.
The roommates wouldn't know that I wasn't there.

I left for work.
Which in of itself was a trial.
As again, I hate evening shifts. I hate having to be social all day long.
Especially when I've been struggling to stay in a positive mood for a while now.
Where I have to act happy. Have to smile.
It only makes it worse.

It wasn't bad. All things considering. Work wasn't bad.
Got scratched up by a cat. Found out I have to work 6 days next week. >.<
But otherwise, it wasn't crazy busy. It wasn't a hard day at work.
Just long.
Because of the anticipation.
Wondering if the roommates had noticed.
Unable to wait until I could finally drive home.
Couldn't wait until I could enter an empty house.
Be by myself. (at least, by myself with the cat.)
And luxuriate in the silence.

It all came down to that window.
After my shift.
How long would it be before the roommates came to the realization that I wasn't coming home.
Like I said,
I thought it would be Sunday Morning before they realized.
Still I'm on tenterhooks. As I get off work -on time for once.-
Drive over to the gas station to fill up my tank.
Drive over to Taco Bell to get food for tomorrow. Drive over to Wendy's to get food for tonight.

All the while, tensely listening for my phone to go off. To have the roommates wondering where I am. Hoping they'll notice. Believing they won't.

In retrospect. I suppose my actions could be worrying.
I had gone social media silent after posting a post about Driving Off into the Darkness and never returning.
That I had cleaned up the apartment. Wiped the board clean.
Basically indicating I wasn't coming back, but trying to not make it so much of a hassle for the people I was leaving behind.
Retrospect. 20/20 I suppose its not surprising that the roommates would worry that I had gone and done something drastic. Gone to commit suicide or something like that.

Not my intention at all.
Honestly. I just need a little space.
Time to unwind.
If they paid attention at all to my media posts. They would have seen (and had seen and liked) my posts about wanting an empty apartment. Mention it in my media posts. They would have seen (and had seen and liked) my posts about wanting an empty apartment. Needing to be alone.
And they did NOTHING to give me that.
Not that I asked them too.
It's hard to say "Hey, get out of the apartment for two days and leave me alone in peace."
I don't have a good reason to say that. My roommate and her fiancé would. Just to have a 'date night' in the apartment.
But me? With the roommates living there? Not something I can expect them to do. After all. They live there too.
Though I was hoping they would take steps to realize, I desperately needed them gone, just by reading the facebook posts. *shrugs* Not surprising they didn't.
So I had to take matters into my own hand.
And leave. Get away. Go.
Because they. They get the apartment to themselves ALL THE TIME.
For hours at a time.
Me. I'm lucky if I get 10 minutes by myself before the others come home.
And those days that I really plan to have by myself. Where I can get more than ten minutes in the apartment alone.
They end up coming home early, or not leaving at all, taking sick days. Etc.

Because. My plans never go to plan. What I want never ends up happening. It's always about their needs. Their wants. How they do stuff.

I've been fine dealing with it now.
But. It's gotten to be too much.
I can't. I can't. I can't.
I need to be alone. I'm an introvert. I recharge myself by being by myself. Not having to deal with everyone else's energy/auras/presence.
In an apartment you can't have that. Even in my room, I can still hear what's going on in the apartment because the walls are so thin.
And it's gotten to that point where I'm basically running on empty.
I only get so much to be able to function, but not be able to actually find energy again.
Maybe I get a quarter tank. But it feels like forever since I've been fully charged. Fully rejuvenated.
Even now, being away from people for 24 hours...I know that it's probably not going to be enough. It will only help me for a little bit before I get back to wishing to be by myself.
I'll take what I can get though....

In any case.
It only took one roommate about an hour after my shift to send me a text asking where I was.
Half an hour after that, my favorite roommate called me. -which I ignored. I hate talking on the phone, especially when I'm not emotionally stable at all.
So I got a flurry of texts full of worry.

*exhales* Which is the point where I realize I appeared to taking more drastic actions than just leaving to my roommates point of view.

So, my exit was noticed much sooner than I'd thought.
And like I'd thought, there were possibly plans to include me this night.
As my favorite roommate and her fiancé tried to bribe me back to the apartment with Fries and the Flash.

It didn't work. I wasn't going to let myself be drawn back just yet to the atmosphere there.
Especially when I'm pretty sure they're going to be all worried and concerned when I do get back.
*sighs*

Sometimes....it takes a big action,
For others to realize that things are definitely not fine.
Even though I put on a mask and act like it is.
I'm not fine.
But its difficult to explain to the unhearing ear that that is the case. That everything in my life is difficult at the moment. And that I don't see any resolution any time soon to all the struggles.

I'm pretty sure the tunnel is going to get a bit darker before I finally see the light at the end of it.
Doesn't mean that I won't find some light bulbs along the way to help until that end is reached.

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

A Concert

Next time BYU Vocal Point performs, I may just have to take the whole weekend off, and buy tickets to every performance.
lol I know there are others who already do this.
But I'm thinking I may need to jump on that bandwagon.
Because I'm already aware each performance is slight different, but it would be nice to be there in person and not just hear about the crazy shenanigans that happen at the ones I'm not at. lol.

In any case!
I was only able to make it to one Vocal Point concert this weekend,
because Work decided to schedule me to work the evening of the other concert.
-A fact I was aware of as work has been scheduling me to work Saturday nights for the past month or so. So I planned already not to be able to make it, so I wasn't surprised when I turned out to be right in being scheduled for the evening shift that day.

But there was no way I was missing this particular set of concerts.
Because it was the VP 25th Anniversary concert.
And they were having a ton of alumni from the past Vocal Point groups coming in to perform!!!
Which meant, if they were coming, that I would get to see past favorites from other groups!!
So. Exciting.
and nothing I wanted to miss at all.

It didn't disappoint!
Such an amazing concert.
So many voices!
So many faces of people I recognized!

Including the face of the alumni who introduced me to Vocal Point.
Ariel Johnson.
He was a counselor in my first ward in college. :) And at that time, also part of the Vocal Point group.
Which during one FHE (I think) they came and performed for us.
and oh.
It was amazing!
Totally hooked me then and there.
And the main reason why I go to the concerts whenever I can. :)

So it was exciting to see him there, performing once again.

Yes.
Definitely an awesome concert!!
lol I just wished we had the opportunity to see more of the older groups.
They did three group numbers together.
And then it was just the current group performing the rest of the time.

I thought it would have been fun to have songs performed from every group.
Like, when a song from the Sing Off was performed, members of the Sing Off group would come out on stage and perform with the current group.

And the beat boxing? Have all the beat boxers get together and do a thing together.

Mostly, it felt like a normal Vocal Point concert, instead of the celebratory 25th concert I thought it would be.
still awesome,
Just wanted more of the old group together.

((Which apparently, they took note off, as on Saturday's performances, they did end up incorporating a bit more mixing between groups. Apparently there were even "sing offs" between different groups between the shows. (Which I wish I could have seen! Gah! Stupid work.) ))

But yah.
I know it would probably have taken like 4 hours to get what I was expecting from the show. lol.
Plus, the logistics of having everyone there, and everyone performing, and having time to choreograph things....I can see why they didn't do more.
Doesn't stop me from wanting more.
And I will get more as they have a music video coming out sometime soon that showcases a lot of the alumni. ^^ Can't wait for that!!

Can't wait for the next Vocal Point concert! :)

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

On The Train

Toward the end of World War II, my father was drafted into the German army and sent to the western front, leaving my mother alone to care for our family.
Though I was only three years old, I can still remember this time of fear and hunger.
We lived in remember this time of fear and hunger.
We lived in Czechoslovakia, and with every passing day, the war came nearer and the danger grew greater.

Finally, during the cold winter of 1944, my mother decided to flee to Germany, where her parents were living.
She bundled us up and somehow managed to get us on one of the last refugee trains heading west.
Traveling during that time was dangerous.
Everywhere we went, the sound of explosions, the stressed faces, and ever-present hunger reminded us that we were in a war zone.

Along the way the train stopped occasionally to get supplies.
One night during one of these stops, my mother hurried out of the train to search for some food for her four children.
When she returned, to her great horror, the train and her children were gone!

She was weighed down with worry; desperate prayers filled her heart.
She frantically searched the large and dark train station, urgently crisscrossing the numerous tracks while hoping against hope that the train had not already departed.

Perhaps I will never know all that went through my mother's heart and mind on that black night as she searched through a grim railroad station for her lost children.
That she was terrified, I have no doubt.
I am certain it crossed her mind that if she did not find this train, she might never see her children again.
I know with certainty: her faith overcame her fear, and her hope overcame her despair.
She was not a woman who would sit and bemoan tragedy.
She moved.
She put her faith and hope into action.

And so she ran from track to track and from train to train until she final found our train.
It had been moved to a remote area of the station.
There, at last, she found her children again.

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf -The Infinite Power of Hope -October 2008 General Conference

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

A Long Wednesday

Wednesdays are probably the most stressful day of the week at the moment, for work.
At least, whenever my manager and I are scheduled to open together.
Because when its the two of us....
It really ends up just being me who is opening the department.
As BB's main focus is to ensure all our numbers in regards to our animals are correct.
So if it says we have four bearded dragons in our system, we need to make sure that we have four bearded dragons in the tank.

Since BB's still new to the whole animal inventory thing. She tends to focus on just that. Counting all the animals.

While...when me, or even previous managers have done the inventory, they've opened the department at the same time.
As in. When they open the cage to compare the number of animals inside the cage to the ones on the list...they also ensure that there is fresh food and water in said cage.

But BB is different, in that she's never worked in my Dept before.
Considering we no longer technically have a Manager over my department....
It's not surprising.
Technically the only thing that BB should be involved in is the paperwork part of the department. And if an animal needs to go to the vet, she'll take them to the vet.
But the day to day tasks? Basically left up to me and to my coworkers to complete.

In any case.
It was a lot less stressful to open the department when there were actually two of us opening the department.
Because then I could multitask. Have the coworker do that day's cage cleaning assignment, while I made sure all the other animals were accounted for and present as well as fed/watered.

Don't get me wrong.
I have mentioned this system to BB before.
But she seems to the type where she needs to figure things out on her own, and only likes to be told ideas when its her idea to ask for ideas. Or ask to see if there is an easier way.

So I've kept rather quiet about the fact that she's only doing the animal counting.
And leaving me to open the entire department by myself.

Which means that I have to do that day's bedding change (which is usually a three hour job) and then open up the rest of the floor. (which can take 2-3 hours) before feeding the fish and scrubbing tanks -difficult to do when I can't use my injured arm.) etc etc.

I know she means well....
And I know she's trying.

But really....it makes for a very very very long day at work.
Which is great in that I can keep tasking for most of my shift.
But bad because I feel stressed throughout it all.

Trying to figure out ways to get everything done in a timely manner while also helping customers at the same time.
It's a puzzle I haven't yet solved.
But I feel that I'm getting closer to cracking it. :)

Guess we'll see.
I'm just glad that I managed to get through it once more. :)

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

Tick Tick Mayhem

I don't know whether I should be impressed.
But I really am irritated.

At how fervently my new wristwatch likes to tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.

It's super
Super.
Loud!

Most wrist watches, sure you can hear them ticking.
If they're within like two inches of your ear.

This watch?
Oh no.
In the right place.
I can hear it from like two feet away.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.

So. Super. Loud.
I mean, watches can get loud on occasion.
but this watch.
Gets the award.

I've had to just take it off and fling it across the room to get away from it's ticking.
Most of the time, just adjusting the position it's in on my wrist will stop the ticking.
This watch...yah. Doesn't always work.

Hopefully it's just 'new watch' stuff.
And as I have it longer it will get less enthusiastic in its ticking.
We'll have to see. :)

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi