- Forgiveness is not always instantaneous.
- Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. The folly of rehashing long-past hurts does not bring happiness.
- Some hold grudges for a lifetime, unaware that courageously forgiving those who have wronged us is wholesome and therapeutic.
- If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being.
Dallin H. Oaks -Divorce
- The concept that society has a strong interest in preserving marriages for the common good as well as the good of the couple and their children has been replaced for many by the idea that marriage is only a private relationship between consenting adults, terminable at the will of either.
- Nations that had no divorce law have adopted one, and most nations permitting divorces have made them easier to obtain. Unfortunately, under current no-fault divorce laws, it can be easier to sever a marriage relationship with an unwanted spouse than an employment relationship with an unwanted employee. Some even refer to a first marriage as a "starter marriage," like a small home one uses for a while before moving on.
- The weakening of the concept that marriages are permanent and precious has far-reaching consequences. Influenced by their own parents' divorce or by popular notions that marriage is a ball and chain that prevents personal fulfillment, some young people shun marriage. Many who marry withhold full commitment, poised to flee at the first serious challenge.
- In contrast, modern prophets have warned that looking upon marriage "as a mere contract that may be entered into at pleasure ... and severed at the first difficulty ... is an evil meriting severe condemnation," especially where children are made to suffer.
- The kind of marriage required for exaltation--eternal in duration and godlike in quality--does not contemplate divorce.
- All who have been through divorce know the pain and need the healing power and hope that come from the Atonement. That healing power and that hope are there for them and also for their children.
- I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache. A broad-based international study of the levels of happiness before and after "major life events" found that, on average, persons are far more successful in recovering their level of happiness after the death of a spouse than after a divorce. Spouses who hope that divorce will resolve conflicts often find that it aggravates them, since the complexities that follow divorce--especially where there are children--generate new conflicts.
- Think first of the children. Because divorce separates the interests of children from the interests of their parents, children are its first victims.
- Under the law of the Lord, a marriage, like a human life, is a precious, living thing. If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them. We do not give up. While there is any prospect of life, we seek healing again and again. The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him, the Lord will help us and heal us.
- Latter-day Saint spouses should do all within their power to preserve their marriages.
- To avoid so-called "incompatibility," they should be best friends, kind and considerate, sensitive to each other's needs, always seeking to make each other happy. They should be partners in family finances, working together to regulate their desire for temporal things.
- Of course, there can be times when one spouse falls short and the other is wounded and feels pain. When that happens, the one who is wronged should balance current disappointments against the good of the past and the brighter prospects of the future.
- Don't treasure up past wrongs, reprocessing them again and again. In a marriage relationship, festering is destructive; forgiving is divine. Please for the guidance of the Spirit of the Lord to forgive wrongs (as President Faust has just taught us so beautifully), to overcome faults, and to strengthen relationships.
- Even those who think their spouse is entirely to blame should not act hastily. One study found "no evidence that divorce or separation typically made adults happier than staying in an unhappy marriage.
- "There were three parties to our marriage--my husband and I and the Lord. I told myself that if two of us could hang in there, we could hold it together."
- Personal circumstances vary greatly. We cannot control and we are not responsible for the choices of others, even when they impact us so painfully.
- The best way to avoid divorce from an unfaithful, abusive, or unsupportive spouse is to avoid marriage to such a person. If you wish to marry well, inquire well. Associations through "hanging out" or exchanging information on the Internet are not a sufficient basis for marriage. There should be dating, followed by careful and thoughtful and thorough courtship. There should be ample opportunities to experience the prospective spouse's behavior in a variety of circumstances. Fiancés should learn everything they can about the families with whom they will soon be joined in marriage. In all of this, we should realize that a good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.
- "Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage ... means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all."
Neil L. Andersen -It's True, Isn't It? Then What Else Matters?
- The cause in which we are laboring is true. We respect the beliefs of our friends and neighbors. We are all sons and daughters of God. We can learn much from other men and women of faith and goodness.
- Faith is not only a feeling; it is a decision.
Vicki F. Matsumori -A Lesson from the Book of Mormon
- Reading and studying the scriptures continues to build our faith, helps us resist temptation, and allows us to grow closer to Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
- Persistence is the key. With every reading of the scriptures, unfamiliar words will take on meaning. You can read about heroes and great acts of courage. You can learn of the tender mercies of the Lord. And above all, you can feel the love of God and know that Jesus Christ is our Savior.
Glenn L. Pace -Do You Know?
- "What is the most difficult challenge you face being the only member?"
- She was thoughtful and gave a very astute answer: "It is believing something is true when everyone else believes it is false, and believing something is wrong when everyone else believes it's all right."
- Once you have felt it, you can never forget it.
M. Russell Ballard -The Miracle of the Holy Bible
- "The nature of God's word is, that whosoever read it, or hear it reasoned and disputed before him, it will begin immediately to make him every day better and better, till he be grown into a perfect man."
- Those who join this Church do not give up their faith in the Bible--they strengthen it. The Book of Mormon does not dilute nor diminish nor de-emphasize the Bible. On the contrary, it expands, extends, and exalts it. The Book of Mormon testifies of the Bible, and both testify of Christ.
Gordon B. Hinckley -The Things of Which I Know
- "Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let they heart be full of thanks unto God."
Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!
-Sarnic Dirchi
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