It's Gonna Change

It's funny....how as a person who doesn't really like change....that I ended up in a retail job where like....things change all the time. Since it's retail...we get quite the revolving door of workers coming and going. To the point where if someone stays longer than a year...then it's kinda amazing. 

It's been slightly less revolving since the pandemic began. Most everyone in the store has been working for a couple of years now. You know, steady income means a lot. 

That doesn't mean that we haven't had our own slew of bathers and cashiers that seem to come and go every couple of months. But overall the main core workers of the store have stayed the same.

So it's not surprising to hear that it will probably be changing soon.

Just....disappointing.

Especially because one of my work friends confided in me that they're probably going to end up leaving soon since working here isn't quite conducive to their current life situation.

And like....it's hard.

Because I want my friend to be happy. To go and do better things and such.

But like....I want my friend to stay here too. To stick around so I have someone to look forward to talking to at work.

*exhales*

It's part of the reason why I often struggle to like...make friends. Especially at work.

Because sooner or later. Everyone leaves. 

So like...what's the point of making more of a friendship if the person will just be gone anyways.

Course...I have this sort of mood in phases.

And like...it's been nice to have work be mostly consistent for the past 3ish years or so as we've dealt with Covid and such. 

But honestly....knowing that my friend is more than likely going to leave... ... it makes me think that I should go out and try and find somewhere to make more friends. To try and be more social.

It's just....I've been in this 'social' game for so long.

Like still stuck in a YA ward...where people move in and out all the time. So like why make friends at church when they'll be gone next semester anyways?

It's hard. I have a ton of acquaintances. But friends? Not many. Because I find it hard to open up enough to reach that 'stage.' 

And while one friend leaving work can probably open the doors for another friend to come in and be made....

I just wish things would stay consistent for a while longer. 

Until you next find these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi