Finding Peace Again

You know how some things just sucker punch you?
Yah...
me to.
I've been feeling off since Friday,
Jittery, teary-eyed, paranoid, nervous.
It's almost like I witnessed the shootings in person by how emotional I've been over the whole event.
I think, it's because I have an over active imagination and a strong dose of empathy where
its rather easy for me to imagine the scenario and place me there. Or others I care about there.
Perhaps it's because it happened in Colorado and I have family there.
Maybe it's just that a gunman went into a place of enjoyment....where there is little reason for a gunman to go as all the 'triggers' for gunman....usually take place in school, the home, or the work place.
Its a variety of things.
Needless to say.....I was a bit....a wary of going back to a theatre.
Especially for Batman.

This fear was lessened...quite a bit by going with my family to see Spiderman over the weekend.
The theatre was small, not a big crowd of people, not the sort of environment that a gunman would want to go to and I had the comforting presence of my family around me.

But still...there was the terror, the feeling that this was somehow 'personal' and going to the Batman would be foolish.

I wasn't going to let that stop me though.
I wanted to see Batman.
And I would go see it soon.
Before any important plot points were given away by others.

First though...I needed a buddy.
A friend to unknowingly go through this....test with me.

Test?
Yes...test.
For I had pretty much figured out that I was just fearing the unknown.
And my over active imagination playing out the scenarios of what could happen.
I thought it was foolish of myself to worry so much about something that only happened once in a different state.
So, I told myself....that once I saw the movie...I would have nothing to worry about.
Survive the movie.
And I will survive.
I would be able to remove myself from the shooting and be able to look at it....like a reader reads a book. Its still very sad, but I'm not placing myself in the situation.

So with the companionship of my cousin.
I went to the theatre.
Comforted a bit by his presence.
As well as the Police presence as well.
It was a holiday here, and I guess people thought something would be more likely to happen on a 'special day' -like the holiday. As the Premier was a 'special day' as well.
Sitting in the theatre itself...I was very jumpy.
lol I was praying like mad.
Thankfully...I found peace. The feeling that I would be fine.

The commercials were mostly gun related....Its odd how you don't notice that...until you're looking for it.
And since the movie was very long....people would get up and leave...which would make me wary.
But there was an officer standing at the door, and the Exit door remained shut.

Plus...the movie was really good.
And by the end of it. I was drawn into the story line.
Into that world.
Where the Batman was.
The symbol of hope.
That all would be well.
For Batman would do whatever it takes to keep his city safe.
And by extension, the viewers safe as well.
Everytime he took down a bad guy and saved a good guy from dying
I mentally cheered.
Good triumphs again and again and again.
Overall the movie spoke a message of hope and peace to me, through the darkness.
Like the title suggests. The Dark Knight Rises.
Its only Night for so long before the Sun comes over the horizon again.
Even though bad things can happen in 'the darkness,' good things will follow, even if they're not what you expected.

By the end of the movie I had relaxed.
Felt calm.
Peaceful
Happy.

The edgy feeling of unwellness had faded.
I was positively hyper afterwards. :)
It was a nice clean breath of fresh air.

And I was right.
After getting home...I was able to remove myself from the situation so it didn't effect me as strongly.
For which I am very grateful. :)

Until you next see these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi