Oh, It Was Horrible!....Wanna See?

I wonder if some people think I'm weird.
Well...weirder.
Because I realized today that when I get injured in a visible way....
I act really excited about it, or positive at least when I tell people about it or show them my injury.
I usually tell whatever story I tell in how I got the injury with a smile on my face.

Half the reason why I do this is to brush it off...to not make it seem like such a horrible thing.
But the other reason I try to keep up a positive attitude...is to hide my insecurities.

When I'm telling others "Oh it was awesome!" or "Its not that bad."
I'm trying to convince myself that it isn't that bad. lol Sometimes I succeed...other times I don't.

When I got my black eye at the beginning of the school year...the discoloration to my face actually became cool to me. I thought I looked awesome. and I rather missed that bruise when it faded.
It might have helped that my sister Kikay...fences. And she's come home black and blue and all excited about all the bruises she has. That helped because the bruise looked awesome around my eye and people thought it was cool.

Chipping a tooth on the other hand...not so much. It was harder to act like it was no big deal because I felt like it was a neon sign pointed to my mouth. lol Needless to say I got that fixed asap.

My hurt finger...I'm trying to act the same as the black eye.
Telling the story of how I got it, on what the blood did, how it hurts.
passing it off as something cool and different.
Instead of it being...well ugly.
I know that it will heal with time.
yet...I can still be rather self conscious about it.

So to hide the fact that I'm self conscious...I don't hide it...but I show it off.
That's when I'm trying to remain confident..
Lol other times I will hide it and that's when I'm more self conscious.

But also...I'm looking to see how others react to the injury. If they react with the same vibe that I'm trying to put off (the positive vibe) then that helps me to not be so self conscious about it.
If they don't react so positively.....well...I know that it actually does look bad.
But then I feel like a weirdo for acting positively about something they don't react positively too.

I figure...its better to be positive about an experience...then mope about and be negative.
So even if others think I'm weird...I'm going to keep doing it. So I can still appear confident...even if I don't feel confident at all. :)

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

The Dream

I was in some facility place....with my sister...we were trying to find something...
but we ended up running into Mrs. Riley my AP English teacher in High School.
We were helping her out. Doing something for her.
And I just wanted to tell her what an awesome teacher she was. She forced us to learn how to write good essays, and because of that..
College essays are rather easy and I don't struggle writing them..(unless its dumb Philosophy. :P)
and that I just wanted to Thank her for the work she went through to teach me that.
It was really helpful.
I was trying to find a good way to broach the subject with her.

When the unholy tones of daylight pulled me away....
and I became myself again. :)

-S.N.D