Split-Second Memories

I don't like disconnect moments.
Unfortunately, they happen alot here.

Why do they happen alot?
Well....I'm not sure.

I think it involves people not LISTENING.
Sure they HEAR my voice, UNDERSTAND the words, yet Do Not LISTEN.

....Okay...so maybe they don't understand either? They Hear...but don't understand?
I don't know.

But basically what happens, is that I am talking to people, usually spouting out ideas, my thoughts, orders, you know...stuff...
and then the person will go "what? you're not making any sense? I don't understand."

>.< That happened this morning.
And I got the sense that....they really didn't want to listen to me.
Because when I tried to explain it again in a slightly different way...I was interrupted...
"What? I don't get it? I don't understand."

Grrr... I felt like screaming out WELL SHUT UP HOLD STILL AND LISTEN TO ME!
I don't think that would have helped...heh.

It was just one of those moments, where I thought I was being clear....yet I wasn't...and...
I can't figure out how to say things differently....so that it will be understood.

I hate speaking out loud for that reason. I feel like I can't articulate so that others may understand my thought process.
I have no idea if paper is clearer or not, but at least I can talk....and have people see what is written.
When I speak...I feel like I'm never listened to.
I have to repeat myself, repeat concepts...that I thought I had made clear earlier...but apparently weren't.
Sure the people smile, nod, have the words enter their ears....and go straight out the other.
Yet, it doesn't seem to ever be comprehended....they hear what they expect to hear, and try to ignore it when its not what they hear...
I really don't know.
But I do get that feeling alot....that I'm not Listened to.

I don't think its just me either....I think there is a general sense of not listening.
I've been in meetings/classes where the same information is repeated twelve times because everybody is in their own la la lands...

Its a moment of disconnect for me when it happens to me though...when people don't listen to me.
For how can I help the individual understand....when I'm not sure what they comprehended or not.
Do I start all over? Or repeat the last couple of words? Did they miss the middle part?
Sometimes I feel like I should just say "Nevermind." and move on....

....and continue my search for those who Listen the first time....so I don't get frustrated.....

Don't just Hear what others are saying, Listen to what they are saying, Understand what they're saying. Keep it in short term memory at least, instead of split-second memory. That way...less frustration abounds...I hope.

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

The Dream

I was running along a board walk in a national park along with my sister.
And somehow we ended up on a ship.
Frantically trying to match up....tracks....like ones marbles roll on, so that we could save other people who had been kidnapped and we had to grab the right track and fit it on top of the older track and if it worked we could move on...if we were wrong....well...I hadn't been wrong yet...

Then the unholy tones of daylight pulled me away....
and I became myself again.

-S.N.D