The Scream

When I was younger,
I used to scream alot.
I could scream loud enough that you could hear me from the neighbors house.
I used to do it alot. For fun, or because I was really frustrated.
Or because I wanted to scream to let out my bound up energy.
However, as I grew up.
The desire to scream grew less and less.
Because I realized....it was rather useless to scream.
It didn't help in any talking situations I got myself into.
It might help me if I ever got into trouble with someone.
But overall. its not a very handy skill to have.
And annoying to boot.
Screaming.
But today. On behalf of another's request to hear me scream.
I did it.
They requested that I scream because I'm...quite the quiet person.
I'm not very loud nowadays in my vocalizations.
Because I realized that loud is rather annoying.
heh...quiet can be annoying too if the person can't hear that well.
But I like being quiet better.
I feel like I"m in more control when I'm quite.
When I'm loud.
I feel less in control.
So I'm quiet.
But it felt.....awesome....liberating to let out a nice loud scream today.
And if the walls weren't so thin here at my place.
I might be more likely to do it again
When the pressure and stress of life starts to build on me.
I'll have to keep that as a mental note in the back of my mind.
That I can still scream if I want to.

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

The Dream


I was heading to Institute and showing my sister where it was.
We had to climb up this set of spiral stairs.
And I happened to be building a....gum ball tract....or I found one.
Anyway there were these kids following me because I had a handful of gum
and they wanted some.
So I put them on the gumball tract. And watched the gumballs go zooming out and away
To where it would end up in a gumball machine.
The kids were....rather put out that they'd have to pay to get the gumballs out of the machine.
They wanted to watch them roll down the tract some more and then eat them.
And I found a...malicious short of pleasure tricking them like that.
I think they might have given me some of their gumballs to be on the tract.
Or I promised them that they could have the gum balls, but I didn't follow through with that promise.
Anyway I went to my institute class....which I was slightly late for.
It was Brother Longmore's Pearl of Great Price class. Same place and location.
Though the furniture was slightly different. It was like it was taking place in a bedroom.
There were alot of fluffy pillows blocking my way to the table that held the roll.
But I ended up sitting down.
(I had come in late, and everyone was in an attitude of worship. There was a strange...mysticalism to the room. It was very pink. And it almost seemed like people were in a drugged high state....very into what they were learning.)
And I think I listened to the lesson.


But then. My team was on the attack. The rampage.
We needed to capture everyone in the apartment building that wasn't on our side so that we could win the war.
So I started with a guys apartment and 'caught' one dude...he was kinda more 'chubby gamer' in looks. And I had a knife on him and was threatening him to stay here.
And then I didn't really have him do anything besides stay in his computer chair.
I think i was waiting for backup.
And more guys who lived in the apartment showed up or were there. Like three others.
And they became my hostages as well.
One more dude showed up. To the roommates dismay because he didn't know what was going on.
Only he did.
One of my teammates a girl with black hair -kinda ratty looking- came in behind him with her own weapon...I think it was a gun.
So now we had a bunch of guys being held hostage...
with nothing for them to do.
So they ended up...testing the boundaries.
Seeing if they could escape.
At one point a girl came in distracting me and they all 'dissapeared'
Downstairs.
They were rather surprised I found them downstairs.
They had gone two levels down. But I found them all chilling out on bean bag chairs, eating junkfood and watching something on TV. I want to say it was football...
Anyway...they weren't moving anytime soon and the other girl had my back.
(At some point I threatened the guys with two knives instead of one....)
And I was curious to see how far down this apartment went. (but I started thinking of it as a house)
And it went down another flight of stairs. perhaps another two flights of stairs. it was a rather tall building apparently.
So I came back upstairs.
To find one of the girls. -Heidi (girl from my Anatomy class) was getting rather excited
Because one of the bands performing in the area tonight was using her house to practice in because she had all the equipment a band would need to practice and perform.
(So the guys apartment switched to her house)
At one point in the dream I went downstairs to see the band practicing.
The lead guy...he was playing a guitar. He was Justin Timberlake and there were three other guys playing as well. There was one guy on drums. and the other two were also on the guitar.
At this point I had decided that I needed to check on how the battle was going outside of the house/apt.
More people were showing up to watch the band practice. So I used that as a distraction.
Lol at one point Justin put his hand over the mike and mouthed towards the girl, Heidi. "I thought we told you only to bring four people"
Since there were more then that watching and listening. Around twenty or so with four more guys added in from the front door. Heidi could only shrug helplessly and basically say "I tried, but word gets around."
Anyway, I was trying to find the exit I found earlier that would lead to the backyard. I was pretty sure it was where the band was practicing, but I wasn't finding it. It seemed more like a garage and there was a room or two dedicated to fishing stuff that I found. With fish on the walls and tackle boxes and fishing poles everywhere.
And when I'd glance out a window I'd find I was still a floor higher then I needed to be.
Then there was a call from above. And I rushed up to a higher floor.
To view the battle from there with another girl.


We were then on the battle field. Building defenses, trying to get the enemy to attack in such a way that we could surround them and make them surrender. There was a process of making them think there were more of us when in fact there were less.
And the key to this win was when I remembered.
The gumball tract. I had set it so that it would blow.


It was like we were suddenly a farming community on the move. There were sheep and cows pulling wagons and cows walking like people following little cars/wagons/ducks made out of boxes for entertainment.
We were moving to war.
And at one point we stopped and left a wagon behind in memorial of those who had died.


Anyway. The final battle was just getting ready to clash.
With us turning of the lights and disgusting things and getting the gumball track ready...


When the unholy tones of daylight pulled me away....
And I became myself again.


There was alot more to the dream, especially the battle part. But its hard to remember the order of my dream, so parts of the dream above were out of wack. I think the farming community came before the whole war thing. We were on the move, and I remember there being this whole ritual with one of the cows pulling the wagon....and yah. It was getting kinda weird towards the end. I was sad I woke up though. I wanted to see the end of the battle.


And that
Is why the fox never came home. :)


-S.N.D.