Vocal Gratitude

Its easy to be nice in your thoughts.
But when it comes to saying those nice thoughts aloud....
It suddenly becomes more difficult.
And Awkward and then Regretful.


I was walking out from my dance class this morning.
And saw a bunch of the 'jaintors' of the school. Nearby.
I had known they were in the area earlier because the bathrooms were being cleaned.
But now. There were four guys in sight.
Three of them appeared to just be standing around and doing nothing but chatting.
The fourth though. Was still industriously working away cleaning one of the drinking fountains.


And I had the thought come to my mind.
"You should go tell him that you appreciate the work he's doing."
After all...he did kinda look downcast.
Probably annoyed that he was still working while the other three were lazing about.
(I know I would be if our roles were switched)
However...I didn't do anything.
Y_Y
I just walked on by.
Because I couldn't be late for class.
(I get out late and its a five-seven minute walk to my next class)


But now....I regret it.
What if just saying those simple words "I appreciate what you're doing. It looks good."
Had been an answer to his prayers.
What if they had really been needed?
I had the chance to be the Lord's tool....
And what did I do?
Ignore it for the world.
For school.
For paranoia about being late to class.
Its not like thirty seconds would have made a difference.
*sighs*


I walked away feeling bad.
And I basically just said a prayer in my heart that went along the lines of
"Please bless him with a sense of comfort, that he might have a brighter day."


Yah...after I had automatically said that..
I felt rather hypocritical.
After all...perhaps I was the one who was supposed to have brightened the guys day.
Basically i had just said. "I didn't want to do that right, please bless him that someone else that isn't me will cheer him up somehow. Because you know. I didn't want it to be me."


After all.
Its rather easy to think good thoughts.
And its almost as easy to do service.
But is it easy to vocalize something?
No.
I really don't think it is.
After all....we have an image we want to upkeep right?
And what if some...somewhat sappy johnny do good words....ruined that image?


The response should be
"I don't care what the world thinks! I'll go ahead and do it anyway!"


Yah....I think image is more important to us then that.
We can't just toss it away.


But is it really tossing it away to compliment another sincerely on something besides "I like that shirt."
Its not bad to compliment somebody on a job well done.


Yet...I didn't want to be the one to do it.
I'm not that loud of a speaker. I don't really project my voice so it doesn't carry.
So its not pride then.
Its fear.
Fear of looking stupid.
Of saying something and not getting a response back.
Of looking like I was talking to the air.
Though If nobody was around me....they probably wouldn't have heard me anyway.


*shakes head*
I need to get better at complimenting people. Of telling them they're doing a job. Of noticing when a person is looking down and taking the time to actually be concerned about them and not ask them in a passing fashion as I'm on my way to class. "Hey are you alright? Okay good."
I know myself when I've been down that I will lie through my teeth the first two times you ask me if I'm alright. Because I don't want to be a bother. An annoyance. A whinny voice.
But if they ask the third time...Perhaps I would actually open up and tell them, and accept their help.
Why? Because they showed me that they cared enough to ask me three times.


Do unto others as you wish others to do unto you.


And be brave.
Speak the words that might sound silly to you.
They might sound encouraging to another.


Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!


-Sarnic Dirchi


The Dream


I was trying on costumes and going through different clothes when I encountered a bunch of my mother's shirts and skirts. They had apparently all been dirtied by something spilling on them (soda perhaps)


And then there was this guy kneeling on the sand next to this river with traveler's pack filled to the brim with shiny diamonds.
Across the stream from him was his 'Opponent.' who had just beaten the last guy to face him.
Because it was a tournament of some sort.
And the dude....a king....was basically just kneeling there singing about how he didn't really want to fight. Or that the guys defeat would be easy. And then I realized.
He was singing the words to a song.
The song playing on my radio.


And then the unholy tones of daylight pulled me away....
And I became myself again.


And that
is why the fox never came home. :)


-S.N.D.