Friday, May 29, 2020

A New Beginning

I often consider myself an easy-going person.
Patient too.

As I know that if there's someone I don't get along well with...I only have to wait until they move on as they always tend to move on.
So I just...buckle down for the waiting game. Biding my time until the individual leaves.

But this past year....
Has been one for patience.

As it's felt like I've had to walk on eggshells at home for the past while. Like over a year.
Because we've had a roommate who made it difficult to relax here.
Because we never knew what mood they would be in when they got home.
Happy? Sad? Angry? Upset? Excited?

More often than not. It would be one of the more negative emotions.
And they would flare up over the...smallest things. The littlest mistakes.
And while we did what we could to instigate some changes to help this roomie feel more at ease here.
They never returned the favor.
They expected us to change for them.
But if we requested some of our own changes....they reacted negatively to it. And would push the blame back on us. Push the problem back on us. And do nothing to help keep the peace with the rest of us.
Their way or their way seemed to be the motto.
And like...there were often passive aggressive hints left (knowingly or subconsciously is unknown) 

But it just was...tense. Whenever the roomie was home.
Even if they hid in their room....
We never knew when they would emerge.
Never knew what doors would be slammed or when the footsteps would pound across the floor.

And we were all reaching a breaking point. 
Because there's only so much one can take.
Before the quiet ones grow sick of staying quiet and passive.

But now...patience has won out.

As the roomie has almost moved out now.
Their furniture is gone.
Only a few more odds and ends left to gather.

And I have to say....I'm breathing a sigh of relief.
Because while I like the roomie as a person....as a roommate they left much to be desire.
Compromise is key to making things work. And when compromise isn't really part of another's language.
It makes it hard to relax at home.

And I have to say that I'm surprised.
Surprised that the roomie chose today to move their bigger things out.
As I nearly expected them to wait until the last moment. The very last day to pack up everything.

But it's a relief.
A relief to know that soon a different sort of energy will emerge in the home.
a different dynamic will grow.
And that home will finally be a place where we can come to relax. To laugh. To have fun. To do our own thing.
And not worry that our actions will be taken negatively. That we'll trigger a meltdown or another passive aggressive motion. That mistakes will be taken out of porportion.

I'm looking forward to the peace.
To the quiet.
To the ability to just not have to worry when I come home and truly be able to just chill without feeling like I'm waiting for the glass to break.

Until you next read these words;
I'll be watching the leaves.
Enjoy the day!

-Sarnic Dirchi

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